aadd sone authnticity to qny sent3nce

stupify.rb

#     _____ __              _ ____     
#    / ___// /___  ______  (_) __/_  __
#    \__ \/ __/ / / / __ \/ / /_/ / / /
#   ___/ / /_/ /_/ / /_/ / / __/ /_/ / 
#  /____/\__/\__,_/ .___/_/_/  \__, /  
#                /_/          /____/   

# type like you're trying really hard

# give it a sentence, an intelligence score from 0 to 1
# and it'll knock you down a dozen IQ points or so

# non-deterministic (sorry), not very efficient (sorry)

# examples:
stupify( "I enjoy a hearty breakfast each morning.", 0.25 )
# => "i enjoy a hsqrty breakfwst 3ach morning."
stupify( "Oh no, not the reactor!", 0.1 )
# => "oh  no,  nott the rrreaactor!"
stupify( "Subtlety is the spice of life.", 0.75 )
# => "Subtlety is the slice oof life."

def stupify( string, intelligence )
  # following comments apply to intelligence == 0
  # and scale to 0% at intelligence == 1 (nothing happens)
  typos = (1 - intelligence) ** 2 # chance increases quadratically
  string.chars.map do |char|
    if char == " " && rand < 0.25 * typos
      # 25% of spaces are removed or doubled
      ["  ", ""] .sample
    elsif char == "!" && rand < 0.5 * typos
      # 50% of exclamation marks are overemphasized
      ["!", "!!", "!!!", "!!!!"].sample
    elsif [",.?"].include? char && rand < 0.5 * typos
      # 50% of punctuation marks are simply removed
      ""
    elsif rand < typos * 0.05
      # 5% of remaining characters are just repeated
      ([char] * (( rand ** 2 ) * 2 + 1).ceil).join
    elsif char.upcase == char && rand < 0.95 * typos
      # 95% of remaining uppercase letters are converted to downcase
      char.downcase
    elsif rand < typos * 0.1
      # 10% of remaining characters after falling through are mapped to a typo
      typo_letter char
    else
      char
    end
  end.join
end

def typo_letter( letter )
  if TYPOS[ letter.to_sym ]
    (TYPOS[ letter.to_sym ].chars + [""]).sample
  else
    letter
  end
end

TYPOS = {
  q: "sw2`aa11",
  w: "aq1de3ss22",
  e: "sw2fr4dd33",
  r: "de3gt5ff44",
  t: "fr4hy6gg55",
  y: "ju7gthh66",
  u: "ji88hhy7",
  i: "ko99jju8",
  o: "lp00kki9",
  p: ";[--llo0",
  a: "xswzzqq",
  s: "cdwwxxza",
  d: "ccfeexs",
  f: "vvgrrccd",
  g: "bbhyyvvftt",
  h: "njjuyybgg",
  j: "mkkiuhhn",
  k: ",,lloijjm",
  l: ".;;po,kk",
  z: "xsaa",
  x: "cdszz",
  c: "vvfdxxx",
  v: "bbgfccc",
  b: "nhgv",
  n: "mmmjhb",
  m: ",,kjnnn",
  Q: "ASWW@!A",
  W: "ASEEQQ###",
  E: "SDR$$W",
  R: "DFT%$EE",
  T: "YYGF^&",
  Y: "TU&&GGH",
  U: "*&IYH",
  I: "O(*UJK",
  O: "0))0P",
  P: "{_L",
  A: "QWSS",
  S: "AWDEZ",
  D: "ERF",
  F: "TRG",
  G: "HYT",
  H: "GJYU",
  J: "HHUIK",
  K: "LIJO",
  L: "::P>",
  Z: "XXXAS",
  X: "ZZC",
  C: "VVVXXXFD",
  V: "BBBCCCGF",
  B: "NNNVVVHG",
  N: "MMMMNJK",
  M: "<<<KJN"
}