Rough draft of a HN Markov generator.

generator.js

var mysql      = require('mysql');
var connection = mysql.createConnection({
	user     : 'root',
	password : 'root',
	database : 'hnmarkov'
});

Array.prototype.random = function () {
    return this[Math.floor(Math.random() * this.length)];
};

connection.connect();

var memory = {}
	, learnTitle = function (txt) {
		// Clean up the text a bit, English is weird.
		txt = txt.title.toLowerCase().replace(/[:,.!?()'"]/g, '');
		var parts = txt.split(' ')
			, prev  = ''; //beginning-of-word

		parts.reduce(learnLetter, memory);

		function learnLetter (mem, letter) {
			if (!mem[prev]) {
					mem[prev] = [];
			}
			mem[prev].push(letter);
			prev = letter;

			return mem;
		};
	}
	, generate = function(lastWord) {
		var currentChoices = memory [(lastWord || '')];
		if (!currentChoices) return '.';

		var current = currentChoices.random();

		return current + ' ' + generate(current);
	};

connection.query('SELECT title FROM stories', function(err, rows, fields) {
	if (err) throw err;

	rows.forEach(learnTitle);

	console.log(generate());

	connection.end();
});