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The original PHP version of MoronBot!
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| <?php | |
| /* CHECKS FOR A URL IN THE... URL. GOES TO DEFAULT ONE OTHERWISE */ | |
| if (isset($_GET['url']) == true) { | |
| $url=$_GET['url']; | |
| } else { | |
| $url="irc.editingarchive.com"; | |
| } | |
| /* CHECKS FOR A CHANNEL IN THE URL. GOES TO DEFAULT ONE OTHERWISE */ | |
| if (isset($_GET['channel']) == true) { | |
| $chan="#".$_GET['channel']; | |
| } else { | |
| $chan="#Funland"; | |
| } | |
| /* LETS THE BOT RUN INDEFINITELY */ | |
| set_time_limit(0); | |
| /* SETS UP SOME USEFUL VARIABLES */ | |
| $meh = false; | |
| while ($meh == false) { | |
| $socket=fsockopen("$url",6667); | |
| $nick="MoronBot"; | |
| $owner="TyranicMoron"; | |
| $home="#Funland"; | |
| $goodbye="Bye guys!"; | |
| $joined=false; | |
| $meh=true; | |
| } | |
| /* SETS UP SOME RANDOM VARIABLES */ | |
| $meh = false; | |
| while ($meh == false) { | |
| $spam=false; | |
| $explode=false; | |
| $guessed=true; | |
| $memorylength=10; | |
| $greet=true; | |
| $convert=array( | |
| "JOIN" => "joined.", | |
| "PRIVMSG" => "said:", | |
| "KICK" => "kicked:", | |
| "PART" => "left.", | |
| "NICK" => "changed their name to:", | |
| "MODE" => "set the mode to:", | |
| "TOPIC" => "set the topic to:" | |
| ); | |
| $meh = true; | |
| } | |
| /* JOINS THE SERVER AND CHANNEL, AND SETS THE BOT'S NICKNAME */ | |
| fputs($socket,"USER $nick www.tyranicmoron.co.uk Bottiness :Moron McBot\n"); | |
| fputs($socket,"NICK $nick\n"); | |
| /* BEGINS THE ENDLESS LOOP */ | |
| while (1) { | |
| /* GET DATA AND STAY ALIVE */ | |
| while ($data = fgets($socket, 1024)) { | |
| $meh = false; | |
| while ($meh == false) { | |
| ob_flush(); | |
| flush(); | |
| sleep(0.1); | |
| print(nl2br($data)); | |
| $ex=explode(' ',$data); | |
| $aftercommands=trim(implode(" ",array_slice($ex,4,count($ex)-1))); | |
| $text=trim(implode(" ",array_slice($ex,3,count($ex)-1))); | |
| $user=explode('!',$ex[0]); | |
| $user=str_replace(':','',$user[0]); | |
| if (!$joined) { | |
| fputs($socket,"JOIN $chan\n"); | |
| fputs($socket,"PRIVMSG NickServ :IDENTIFY whitill\n"); | |
| $joined=true; | |
| } | |
| if ($ex[0]=="PING") { | |
| fputs($socket,"PONG $ex[1]\n"); | |
| } | |
| $meh=true; | |
| } | |
| /* COMMANDS */ | |
| $command = str_replace(array(chr(10), chr(13)), '', $ex[3]); | |
| if ($explode == true) { | |
| /* UNFREEZE THE BOT */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!clean\-?up$/i",$command)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :*reassembled!*\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NICK MoronBot\n"); | |
| $nick="MoronBot"; | |
| $explode=false; | |
| } | |
| /* FREEZE THE BOT */ | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:\!explode$/i",$command)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NICK BombBot\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :Kaboom!\n"); | |
| $explode=true; | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:\!emo$/i",$command)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NICK EmoBot\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :Goodbye, cruel world!\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :*slits his wrists*\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :*spurts blood all over the place*\n"); | |
| $explode=true; | |
| /* CHECK FOR CHEESE :D */ | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/cheese/i",$text) == true) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :OMG Cheese.\n"); | |
| } else { | |
| /* MAIN COMMANDS */ | |
| /* ENABLES COMMANDS THROUGH PM */ | |
| if ($ex[2] == $nick) { | |
| $ex[2]=trim(str_replace(':','',$command)); | |
| $command=":$ex[4]"; | |
| $aftercommands=trim(implode(" ",array_slice($ex,5,count($ex)-1))); | |
| } | |
| /* OWNER ONLY */ | |
| /* ABORT THE BOT */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!(sepp?ukk?u|suicide|abort|quit|boom|die|kill)$/i",$command)) { | |
| if ($user == $owner) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :Arrrggghhh!\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "PART $ex[2] :Died\n"); | |
| die(); | |
| } else { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :YOU FAIL!\n"); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| /* CHANGE THE BOT'S NICKNAME */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!nick$/i",$command)) { | |
| if ($user == $owner) { | |
| fputs($socket,"NICK $aftercommands\n"); | |
| $nick=$aftercommands; | |
| } else { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :BAD! NAUGHTY! DON'T DO IT!\n"); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| /* ANYONE */ | |
| /* TELL THE BOT TO JOIN <CHANNEL> */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!join$/i",$command)) { | |
| fputs($socket,"JOIN $aftercommands\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* TELL THE BOT TO LEAVE THE CHANNEL */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!(leave|goaway)$/i",$command)) { | |
| if ($ex[2] != $home || $user == $owner) { | |
| fputs($socket,"PART $ex[2] :Fine, I know when I'm not wanted.\n"); | |
| } else { | |
| fputs($socket,"KICK $ex[2] $user :Hey, don't try to make me leave my own channel!\n"); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| /* LISTS THE COMMANDS */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!commands$/i",$command)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :ANYONE: !say, !do, !buy, !time, !date, !join, !leave/!goaway, !memory, !spam - 'stop', !guess, !8ball, !explode/!emo - !clean-up, !help, 'cheese', 'windmill', commands through PM (/msg MoronBot #channel !command text).\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :OWNER ONLY: !nick, !abort/!seppuku(diff spellings)/!suicide/!quit/!boom/!die/!kill.\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :AUTOMATIC: welcoming people to the channel.\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* PROVIDES HELP ON INDIVIDUAL COMMANDS */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!help$/i",$command)) { | |
| if ($aftercommands == "") { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :To see information about a command, type !help !command-name. To get a command listing, type !commands\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?help$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !help !<command>\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Gives help on command '<command>'\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?commands$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !commands\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Lists all available commands\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?say$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !say <text>\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Makes MoronBot say '<text>'\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?do$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !do <action>\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Makes MoronBot do '<action>'\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?buy$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !buy <object>\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :MoronBot sells you '<object>'\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?time$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !time\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :MoronBot tells you the time on the computer he's running on\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?date$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !date\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :MoronBot tells you the date on the computer he's running on\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?join$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !join #channel\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Makes MoronBot join the channel '#channel'\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?(leave|goaway)$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !leave OR !goaway\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Makes MoronBot leave the channel the command is said in\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?memory$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !memory\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :MoronBot tells you the last ten events from the channel.\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?spam$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !spam <text>\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Makes MoronBot reply with '<text>' whenever someone says anything\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?stop$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: Just say 'stop' anywhere in your message\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Used to stop MoronBot from spamming. He'll spam one last time for good luck though :D\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?guess$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !guess <range>\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Starts a guessing game. The <range> is optional, default is 100. You can guess by having a number anywhere in your message.\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?8\-?ball$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !8Ball <text>\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Makes MoronBot chek his 8-Ball for the answer to '<text>'\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?(explode|emo)$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !explode OR !emo\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Freezes MoronBot - No commands will be executed until the !clean-up command is given\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?clean\-?up$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !clean-up\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Un-freezes MoronBot. Allows commands to work again after !explode or !emo\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?nick$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !nick <nickname>\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Changes MoronBot's nickname to '<nickname>'. Owner-only command\n"); | |
| } elseif (preg_match("/^\:?\!?(sepp?ukk?u|suicide|abort|quit|boom|die|kill)$/i",$aftercommands)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :USAGE: !command (there are too many to list =P)\n"); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :Kills MoronBot, ie: Stops execution of his script. He'll no longer be running AT ALL after this command\n"); | |
| } else { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :$aftercommands is not a valid command\n"); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| /* RANDOM FUNCTIONS OF WIN */ | |
| /* ANYONE */ | |
| /* ANY TIME WINDMILL IS SAID */ | |
| if (preg_match("/windmill/i",$text) == true) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* FIXING A BUG XD */ | |
| if (preg_match("/\!\/boom/",$text) == false) { | |
| /* SAY <TEXT> */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!say$/i",$command)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :$aftercommands\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* DO <TEXT> */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!do$/i",$command)) { | |
| $string=chr(0x01); | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :$string"."ACTION $aftercommands"."$string\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* BUY <TEXT> */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!buy$/i",$command)) { | |
| $randprice="£".rand(1,100).".".rand(10,99); | |
| $string="$aftercommands costs $randprice. $randprice has been deducted from your account. Enjoy your \"$aftercommands\"."; | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :$string\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* SPAM <TEXT> UNTIL TOLD TO 'STOP' */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!spam$/i",$command)) { | |
| if ($spam == false) { | |
| if ($aftercommands != "") { | |
| $spamstring=$aftercommands; | |
| } else { | |
| $spamstring="spam"; | |
| } | |
| $spamchannel=$ex[2]; | |
| $spam=true; | |
| } | |
| } | |
| if ($spam == true) { | |
| if (preg_match("/stop/i",$text) == true) { | |
| $spam=false; | |
| } | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $spamchannel :$spamstring\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* 8 BALL */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!8\-?ball$/i",$command)) { | |
| if ($aftercommands != "") { | |
| $answerarray=array("Likely","Unlikely","Certain","Impossible","Possible","Doubtful"); | |
| $answerpos=rand(1,count($answerarray)-1); | |
| $answer="\"$aftercommands\" is \"$answerarray[$answerpos]\""; | |
| } else { | |
| $answer="You didn't ask anything!"; | |
| } | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :My 8-Ball says: $answer\n"); | |
| } | |
| } else { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :*Bomb defused!*\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* TELL THE TIME (LOCAL) */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!time$/i",$command)) { | |
| $string=date("g\:i a"); | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :It's $string\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* TELL THE DATE (LOCAL) */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!date$/i",$command)) { | |
| $string=date("l, jS \of F"); | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :Today is $string\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* MEMORY */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!memory$/i",$command)) { | |
| $file=file("$ex[2].txt"); | |
| $file=array_slice($file,count($file)-11); | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :The last 10 events in this channel were:\n"); | |
| $string=""; | |
| foreach ($file as $line) { | |
| fputs($socket, "NOTICE $user :$line"); | |
| $string=$string.$line; | |
| } | |
| $fd=fopen("$ex[2].txt","w"); | |
| fwrite($fd,$string); | |
| fclose($fd); | |
| } | |
| /* GREETING TOGGLE */ | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!no\-?greet$/i",$command)) { | |
| if ($greet == true) { | |
| $greet=false; | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :Greeting Off\n"); | |
| } else { | |
| $greet=true; | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :Greeting On\n"); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| /* GAMES */ | |
| /* ANYONE */ | |
| /* GUESS THE NUMBER */ | |
| if ($guessed == false) { | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!ihateguess$/i",$command)) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $guesschannel :Ok, we won't play anymore then. The answer was $guessnumber.\n"); | |
| $guessed=true; | |
| } | |
| if ((preg_match("/[0-9]+/",$text,$guess) == true) && ($ex[2] == $guesschannel)) { | |
| $guess=implode("",$guess); | |
| $guesscount+=1; | |
| if ($guessnumber == $guess) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $guesschannel :Well done, $user. The number was $guessnumber. It took you $guesscount guesses.\n"); | |
| $guessed=true; | |
| } else { | |
| if ($guess > $guessnumber) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $guesschannel :$guess is too high.\n"); | |
| } | |
| if ($guess < $guessnumber) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $guesschannel :$guess is too low.\n"); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| } | |
| } | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:\!guess$/i",$command)) { | |
| if ($guessed == true) { | |
| if (preg_match("/[0-9]+/",$aftercommands,$range)) { | |
| $range=implode("",$range); | |
| $guessnumber=rand(1,$range); | |
| } else { | |
| $range=100; | |
| $guessnumber=rand(1,$range); | |
| } | |
| if ($guessnumber < 0) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :Invalid range, please try again.\n"); | |
| } else { | |
| $guesschannel=$ex[2]; | |
| $guessed=false; | |
| $guesscount=0; | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $guesschannel :I've thought of a number between 1 and $range. Care to guess?\n"); | |
| } | |
| } else { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :I'm already playing guess in $guesschannel, sorry.\n"); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| /* AUTO FUNCTIONS */ | |
| /* WELCOME PEOPLE ON JOIN */ | |
| if ($ex[1] == "JOIN" && $greet == true) { | |
| $ex[2]=trim(str_replace(':','',$ex[2])); | |
| if ($user == $nick) { | |
| fputs($socket, "PRIVMSG $ex[2] :Hey guys!\n"); | |
| } else { | |
| $string="PRIVMSG $ex[2] :Hey $user!\n"; | |
| fputs($socket, $string); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| /* AUTO-REJOIN ON KICK */ | |
| if ($ex[1] == "KICK" && $ex[3] == $nick) { | |
| fputs($socket,"JOIN $ex[2]\n"); | |
| } | |
| /* STORE EVENTS */ | |
| if ($user != $url && !preg_match("/^\:\!memory$/i",$command) && preg_match("/^\#/",$ex[2])) { | |
| if (preg_match("/^\:/",$text)) { | |
| $text=substr($text,1); | |
| } | |
| $string=str_replace(array_keys($convert),array_values($convert),$ex[1]); | |
| $fd=fopen("$ex[2].txt","a"); | |
| fwrite($fd,"<$user> $string $text\n"); | |
| fclose($fd); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| } | |
| } | |
| ?> |
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