Portal 2 Dialogue Cues

p2-dialogue.txt

Imagine a bus.
These cues are for when to press a movement key directly into the elevator while standing at the edge.
For normal elevators, the edge is where you can look down and see the elevator shaft.
For Old Aperture elevators, the edge is right in the middle of the fizzler on the elevator.

A number of the fades may be impossible because of how long the elevator takes to arrive,
or perfect movement may not be enough to enter the elevator in time.

Don't stress exact timing too much (unless you're going for wr *wink*), and prefer going after the cue than before.

[] shows a cue. If you don't reach the elevator by the final cue, enter as fast as possible.
{} shows the 'failsafe' timing. If you reach the elevator during this time, enter as fast as possible.

The calculations to discern these cues are provided below.


Container Ride      - You have [j]ust passed through an Aperture [S]cience Material E[m]ancipation Grill, which vaporises most Aperture Science equipment that touches it.
Portal Carousel     - Good. []Because of the tech[n]ical difficulties we [a]re currently experiencing, your test environment is unsuper[v]ised. Be[f]ore re-entering a [r]elaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a m[o]ment to write down the re[s]ults of your test. []An Aperture Sci[e]nce Reintegration [A]ssociate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Portal Gun          - Good. [I]f you feel that a lethal [m]ilitary android has not respected your rights as detailed in the Law[s] of Robotics, pl[e]ase note it on your Self-[R]eporting Form. []A future Aperture [S]cience Entitlement Associate will initiate the appropriate grievance-filing paperwork.
Smooth Jazz         - N/A
Cube Momentum       - Well [d]one. The En[r]ichment Center reminds [y]ou that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alon[e]. All Ap[e]rture Science Personality [C]onstructs will rem[a]in functional in ap[o]calyptic, low-power environments of as few as 1 point 1 volts.
Future Starter      - Good work [g]etting this far, future [s]tarter! That said, if you are simple-minded, ol[d], or irradi[a]ted in such a way th[a]t the future should not s[t]art with you, plea[s]e return to your primitive tribe, and send back someone better qualified for testing.
Secret Panel        - N/A
Wakeup              - N/A
Incinerator         - But the important [t]hing is you're back, with me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. []So there's nothing to sto[p] us from testing, []for the rest of your life.[] After that, []who knows, maybe I'll take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe.
Laser Intro         - N/A
Laser Stairs        - Well [d]one. Here come the test results... []you are a h[o]rrible person.[] Tha[t]'s what it says, []a horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
Dual Lasers         - []Congratulatio[n]s. Not on the test. Most people emerge from su[s]pension terri[b]ly undernourished.[] I want to congra[t]ulate you on beatin[g] the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Laser Over Goo      - N/A
Catapult Intro      - Here's an interesting fact: []you're not breathin[g] real air. []It's too expensive to pump this far down. [W]e just take car[b]on dioxide [o]ut of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it [b]ack in. []So you'll be [b]reathing the same [r]oom full of air [f]or the rest of your life.
Trust Fling         - {Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That} wa[s] a metaphor. I was actually talking about yo[u]. [A]nd I'm so[r]ry. You didn't react at the time, []so I was [w]orried it [s]ailed right over your head, which would've [m]ade this apolo[g]y seem in[s]ane. []Tha[t]'s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.
Pit Flings          - N/A
Fizzler Intro       - N/A
Ceiling Catapult    - N/A
Ricochet            - Well, you passed the test. []I didn't see [t]he deer today.[] I did [s]ee some humans,[] but with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Bridge Intro        - Excellent! You're a predator, and the[s]e tests are you[r] prey. [S]peaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming [t]est. [D]o you know who el[s]e murders people who are only trying to help them? []Did you guess 'shar[k]s'? Because th[a]t's wrong. []The correct answer i[s] 'nobody.' Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.
Bridge The Gap      - Well done.[] In fac[t], you did so [w]ell, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commen[d]ations sectio[n]. Oh,[] there's lots of [r]oom here. []'Did well. Enough.'
Turret Intro        - N/A
Laser Relays        - You know how I'm going [t]o live forever, []but you're going to be dea[d] in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a bela[t]ed birthday presen[t] for you. []Well, more of a belated birthday medical pro[c]edure. [W]ell, te[c]hnically, i[t]'s a medical expe[r]iment. What's important is it's a present.
Turret Blocker      - []I'm going through the [l]ist of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I [m]anaged to find tw[o] with your last name.[] A m[a]n and a woman.[] So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Laser vs Turret     - [2nd high note] https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/574898830995357697/1069483351246905395/laser-vs-turret.mp3
Pull the Rug        - I bet [y]ou think I forgot about your surprise. I didn't. []In fact, we're hea[d]ed to your surpris[e] right now. []After al[l] these years. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it.
Column Blocker      - N/A
Laser Chaining      - I thought about our [d]ilemma, and [I] came up with a sol[u]tion that I honestly think works out best for one of both of us.
Triple Laser        - I think [t]hese test chambers look even better than they did before. []It was easy, re[a]lly. You jus[t] have to look at things [o]bjectively, [s]ee what you don't need anymore, and trim out the fat.
Jailbreak           - N/A
Escape              - N/A
Turret Factory      - N/A
Turret Sabotage     - N/A
Neurotoxin Sabotage - N/A
Tube Ride           - N/A
Core                - N/A
Long Fall           - N/A
Underground         - N/A
Cave Johnson        - N/A
Repulsion Intro     - Oh, in case you got [c]overed in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: []do not get covered in the repulsion gel. We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one, and it does not like the human skeleton.
Bomb Flings         - Just a heads up, that coffee we gave you earlier had fluores[c]ent calcium in it so we could track the neuronal activity in your brain.[] There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualising the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
Crazy Box           - {Science isn't} abou[t] "why", it's about "why not!" Why is so mu[c]h of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you [l]ove it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety [d]oor that won't hit you on the butt on the way out because you are fired! Not you, test subject, you're doing fine. Yes, you, box, your stuff, out the front door, parking lot, car. Goodbye.
PotatOS             - N/A
Propulsion Intro    - Great job, astro[n]aut, war hero, and or Olympian! With your help, [w]e're gonna cHaNgE ThE wOrLd! This on? *tap* *tap* *tap* Hey, listen up down there. That thing's called an 'elevator.' Not a bathroom.
Propulsion Flings   - In case you're interested, there's still some [p]ositions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. []Again, all you gotta do is let us disassemble you. We're no[t] banging rocks together here, we know how to put a man back together. So, that's a complete reassembly. New vitals, spit-shine on the old ones, plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Conversion Intro    - N/A
Three Gels          - N/A
Test                - Alr[i]ght, so my paradox idea didn't work. An[d] it almost [k]illed me. []Luckily, by the looks of things, he knows as [m]uch about test bui[l]ding as he does about logical contradictions.
Funnel Intro        - Okay, so the [b]ad news is the tests [a]re my tests now.[] So they can kill us. The [g]ood news is? []Well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Ceiling Button      - Ooh, ye[s], []well done.[] Thanks, all we had to do was pull that [l]ever. What? [W]ell no, you pressed the b-[A]HHHHHH! []I know we're in a l[o]t of trouble and probably about to die, but that was worth it.
Wall Button         - Oh no, []it's happening [s]ooner than I expected. I'm sure we'll be fine.
Polarity            - []Grrrrh, it's [n]ot enough! []If I'm such a moron, why can't you solve [a] simple test? []I might've pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Funnel Catch        - The body he's squatting in,[] my body, has a buil[t] in euphoric response to tes[t]ing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it. It can get a little, []unbearable, unless you have the me[n]tal capacity to push past it. It didn't matter to me, I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Stop the Box        - (this one seems wrong) Are you, []are you absolutely [s]ure you're solving the[s]e correctly? I mean, yes, you solved it, but I'm wondering[] if [m]aybe there's a number of way[s] to solve them, and you're picking all the [w]orst ways. []No, no, that was the solution. Grrh, what am I missing?
Laser Catapult      - Remember when I told you that he was s[p]ecifically designed to [m]ake bad decision[s]? Because I think he's decided not [t]o maintain any [o]f the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Laser Platform      - N/A
Propulsion Catch    - You two are gonna love this big surprise.[] In [f]act, [y]ou might say, you're going to love it...[] to [d]eath.[] Gonna love it, until you're d-- []until it kills you, until you're [d]ead. Ha[h]aha, alright, I don't know whether, []you're uh[h], you're pickin' up on what I'm sayin' there, but -- Yes, thanks, we get it.
Repulsion Polarity  - []So, he's inexplicably happy all of a sudden, [e]ven though he should b[e] going out of his min[d] with test withdrawal. And [h]e's got a surprise [f]or us. What did he find back there?
Finale 1            - N/A
Finale 2            - N/A
Finale 3            - N/A
Finale 4            - N/A


For each map, the time from entering the elevator (departure_elevator-elevator_doorclose_playerclip.Enable() or -exit_lift_doortop_movelinear.close() entity input)
to each transition trigger (departure_elevator-elevator_1_player_teleport.RunScriptCode or -exit_lift_train.RunScriptCode entity input) was noted.
Most maps have generic timing because of entity instances and uniform elevator speed, but some decide to be different >:(

Thereafter, a relevant timing offset of the movement time from the edge to activating the elevator was applied.
For 'new' elevators, this offset was 14 ticks or 0.233 seconds.
For 'old' elevators, this offset was 18 ticks or 0.300 seconds.

The timings after said offset is applied are provided below, in seconds.
These timings are chronologically backwards, counting from the end of the dialogue.

Generic New  - [ 3.633,  4.600,  5.567,  6.533,  7.500, 10.700, 11.633, 12.600, 15.800, 16.767, 17.733, 21.900, 22.533]
Incinerator  - [ 5.133,  6.667,  8.200,  9.733, 11.267, 16.400, 17.933, 19.467, 24.567, 26.133, 27.667, 34.300, 35.333]
Trust Fling  - [ 2.833,  3.467,  4.100,  4.733,  5.400,  7.533,  8.167,  8.800, 10.933, 11.567, 12.200, 15.000, 15.400]

Old Aperture - [10.800, 14.000, 17.200, 20.400, 20.433]

New Aperture - [ 3.633,  4.600,  6.600,  7.567,  8.533, 11.567, 12.533, 13.500, 16.700, 17.633, 18.600, 21.400, 22.067];
Funnel Catch - [ 6.133,  8.067, 12.067, 13.967, 15.900, 21.967, 23.900, 25.833, 32.233, 34.133, 36.067, 41.667, 42.967];

Next, I used the audio of a fullgame run (AngerySnek's 56:57.617) to get in-game dialogue timings (many dialogues are made of multiple audio files)
and synced up the game's audio files (from portal2/pak01_dir.vpk, discovered with snd_show 1) to find the exact end of the dialogue.
Then it's a simple matter of counting backwards and listening for the dialogue at that moment to create the cues. An audio file
with beeps at the cues is available at https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/574898830995357697/1069500317026226276/dialogue.mp3

One notable map is Propulsion Catch. On this map, if you get to the ending elevator room while P-Body is still visible, it is
faster to go for the failsafe (enter immediately) than to activate the dialogue with a funnel.

At the time of writing, I'm too lazy to do the same investigation for coop dialogue. When I do, this gist will be edited.