Deaf Grandma from Chris Pine...

deaf_grandma.rb

# deaf gramma

# so she says hi and stuff
puts 'MORNIN SONNY! HOW YOU DOIN\' TODAY?'
hwat = gets.chomp
# set a counter that tracks how many times you tell her to DIE
counter = 1

# tell her to shut the fuck up
while counter != 3
  if hwat == hwat.downcase
    puts 'HUH? WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN?'
    hwat = gets.chomp
  elsif hwat == 'DIE'
    counter += 1
    # have to have a request come back in or it loops on the DIE
    # and fills up the counter in one fell stroke
    hwat = gets.chomp
  else 
    puts 'I HAVEN\'T DONE THAT SINCE ' + (2011 - rand(101)).to_s + '!'
    hwat = gets.chomp
  end
end