ahl/gist:88a5955949477d69662eff397e665dfe

## gistfile1.txt
From: Dan Cosley <d...@atools.cs.jmu.edu>
Subject: [comp.lang.java.programmer] Re: Perl & Java - differences and uses
Date: 1998/09/27
Message-ID: <ahbou=6tk9fo$hvg@enews2.newsguy.com>#1/1
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Subject: Re: Perl & Java - differences and uses
From: "Felix S. Gallo" <f...@newsguy.com>
Newsgroups: comp.lang.java.programmer, comp.lang.perl.misc, comp.lang.python

The indefatigable George Reese writes:
>Freedom has no place in programming.  Period.

Here we discover the crux of the problem: George Reese
believes that hilariously nonsensical dogma, stated in an
authoritative way, is a feasible substitute for a forebrain.

Here's to the hope that George follows the path of the
truth and the light by boycotting all systems written in
'free' languages, such as Perl, C++, and C.  Of course,
he might have a difficult time surfing the Internet; or,
for that matter, logging on.  Or powering up his computer;
or indeed driving to work.  It may be complex, in fact,
for him to operate his microwave -- and in the event that
that means he's late for work because he couldn't get
his coffee, it'll be very difficult indeed for him to contact
his employer, either via e-mail, the telephone system,
a cab he flags down to the corner, a telegram, a courier
service, a police report, smoke signals (the fire
department might get involved), the postal service,
or skywriting.  So perhaps quitting his job, George will
have to subsist without power, water, temperature
control, sewage service, or mass produced candles,
matches, batteries, flashlights, glow sticks or mail-
ordered lightning bugs.  He obviously can't obtain food
from society, because of the distribution system,
factory automation, packaging, design, and of course
research, development, agriculture, preservatives,
additives, and cash registers (not to mention his own
bank account, checking system, ATM card, credit
card, and cash).  But another dilemma pops up:
all modern weapons are machined and mass-produced
by computer (and here we are again with the design,
packaging and distribution taint).

So George will be living out his programmatically
pure philosophy working out his easily maintainable
python code in dirt with a stick, in between his
desperate attempts to collect enough rainwater to
nourish his stunted seedlings.  When winter comes,
one hopes George has been able to run enough
python in his head to design a sturdy hole in the
ground to huddle in next to his hoard of dessicated
elk meat.  If he is able to survive the winter by
killing enough ground squirrels to fashion a coat
strung together with a sharpened rat's tooth and
wound-up squirrel tendon, he will be able to emerge
stumbling from his hovel, squinting at the glare of
the spring sun, ragged and disheveled, and raise
a bandy fist to shake at the Boeing 757 making a
distant line against the cloudless morning, and
through rotted teeth, curse the horrifically poor
technology that will surely one day fall to the majestic
brilliance of pure languages like python.

Until such a day comes, I hope that George will forgive
those of us who make a living writing code in finite
time with finite resources.  Yes, George, one day the
academics will rise up and overthrow the rancid disease
that is capitalism and the shoddy, dangerous mendacity
that is Perl.  I'm sure it will happen any day now; the
signs are all there, you bet.  But for now, forebearance,
brother!

Felix Gallo
hey, maybe you can get the cabin next to Kaczinski!

--
Moderators accept or reject articles based solely on the criteria posted
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	From: Dan Cosley <d...@atools.cs.jmu.edu>
	Subject: [comp.lang.java.programmer] Re: Perl & Java - differences and uses
	Date: 1998/09/27
	Message-ID: <ahbou=6tk9fo$hvg@enews2.newsguy.com>#1/1
	X-Deja-AN: 395199212
	Approved: ahbo...@acpub.duke.edu
	X-Disclaimer: The "Approved" header verifies header information for article transmission and does not imply approval of content. See .sig below.
	X-Posting-Moderator: bogrow
	X-For-FAQ-Mailto: ahbo...@eey.org
	X-FAQ-Is-At: ftp://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/faqs/best-of-usenet-humor
	Followup-To: alt.humor.best-of-usenet.d
	X-Complaints-To: ab...@globalcenter.net
	X-Submissions-To: ahbo...@acpub.duke.edu
	Organization: best of usenet humor
	X-Posted-By: use...@206.165.6.202 (user99)
	X-FAQ-Via-WWW: http://www.eey.org/~user99/ahbou
	Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet

	Subject: Re: Perl & Java - differences and uses
	From: "Felix S. Gallo" <f...@newsguy.com>
	Newsgroups: comp.lang.java.programmer, comp.lang.perl.misc, comp.lang.python

	The indefatigable George Reese writes:
	>Freedom has no place in programming. Period.

	Here we discover the crux of the problem: George Reese
	believes that hilariously nonsensical dogma, stated in an
	authoritative way, is a feasible substitute for a forebrain.

	Here's to the hope that George follows the path of the
	truth and the light by boycotting all systems written in
	'free' languages, such as Perl, C++, and C. Of course,
	he might have a difficult time surfing the Internet; or,
	for that matter, logging on. Or powering up his computer;
	or indeed driving to work. It may be complex, in fact,
	for him to operate his microwave -- and in the event that
	that means he's late for work because he couldn't get
	his coffee, it'll be very difficult indeed for him to contact
	his employer, either via e-mail, the telephone system,
	a cab he flags down to the corner, a telegram, a courier
	service, a police report, smoke signals (the fire
	department might get involved), the postal service,
	or skywriting. So perhaps quitting his job, George will
	have to subsist without power, water, temperature
	control, sewage service, or mass produced candles,
	matches, batteries, flashlights, glow sticks or mail-
	ordered lightning bugs. He obviously can't obtain food
	from society, because of the distribution system,
	factory automation, packaging, design, and of course
	research, development, agriculture, preservatives,
	additives, and cash registers (not to mention his own
	bank account, checking system, ATM card, credit
	card, and cash). But another dilemma pops up:
	all modern weapons are machined and mass-produced
	by computer (and here we are again with the design,
	packaging and distribution taint).

	So George will be living out his programmatically
	pure philosophy working out his easily maintainable
	python code in dirt with a stick, in between his
	desperate attempts to collect enough rainwater to
	nourish his stunted seedlings. When winter comes,
	one hopes George has been able to run enough
	python in his head to design a sturdy hole in the
	ground to huddle in next to his hoard of dessicated
	elk meat. If he is able to survive the winter by
	killing enough ground squirrels to fashion a coat
	strung together with a sharpened rat's tooth and
	wound-up squirrel tendon, he will be able to emerge
	stumbling from his hovel, squinting at the glare of
	the spring sun, ragged and disheveled, and raise
	a bandy fist to shake at the Boeing 757 making a
	distant line against the cloudless morning, and
	through rotted teeth, curse the horrifically poor
	technology that will surely one day fall to the majestic
	brilliance of pure languages like python.

	Until such a day comes, I hope that George will forgive
	those of us who make a living writing code in finite
	time with finite resources. Yes, George, one day the
	academics will rise up and overthrow the rancid disease
	that is capitalism and the shoddy, dangerous mendacity
	that is Perl. I'm sure it will happen any day now; the
	signs are all there, you bet. But for now, forebearance,
	brother!

	Felix Gallo
	hey, maybe you can get the cabin next to Kaczinski!

	--
	Moderators accept or reject articles based solely on the criteria posted
	in the Frequently Asked Questions. Article content is the responsibility
	of the submitter. Submit articles to ahbo...@acpub.duke.edu. To write
	to the moderators, send mail to ahbo...@acpub.duke.edu.