Frank Costanza lines

frank.txt

Today, I went record shopping in Greenwich Village.
I bought this record, but I can't seem to find the hi-fi.
Didn't I give you my old record player?
Cosmo?
Who's Cosmo?
Well, I want it back.
I wanna listen to that cha-cha record.
(putting down the bowl) Lemme change my shirt.
Thank you, Kramer.
(indicating a chair) Put it over there.
Tired.
How did you know?
(looks down, and indicates his chest) Up here?
You want me to wear a bra?!
This feels very comfortable.
I feel ten years younger.
And I can breathe easier, too.
Of course.
Sid Farkus.
He's the best in the business.
Let's do it!
Except, we gotta do something about the name.
No, bro's no good.
Too ethnic.
How 'bout uh... the mansiere?
That's right.
A brassiere for a man.
The mansiere, get it?
Hey George, what d'you like better?
The bro, or the mansiere?
Or, the mansiere.
I like mansiere.
(to Kramer) That's what we figured, huh?
(vehement) I wouldn't be caught dead in Banlon.
Definitely velcro.
Oh, thank you, Sid, but that's all in the past.
I'm ready to move on.
(anger) You wanna go out with my wife?!
(rage) Where do you get the nerve to ask me something like that?!
I know what you're saying, and I know what you're thinking!!
C'mon, Cosmo, I'm not doing business with this guy.
He took it back?
Didn't you tell him I was using it?
Where am I supposed to sleep?
What stain?
(disbelief) You had me sleeping on a pee-stained couch?
(anger) But, the very idea.
you had me lying in urine!!
Will you stop it?
Here, Cosmo...
...You can have the hi-fi.
(hands it over) I don't need it now...
...I got one at home.
We'll go out for dinner tonight.
What d'you mean, busy?
With whom?
(anger) Sid Farkus?!
You're not having dinner with a bra salesman.
Okay, that's it!
I'm not coming home!
We'll work something out.
Kasha?
You're not the only one improving yourself.
I worked out with a dumbbell yesterday.
I feel *vigorous*.
I got things to do, too.
Getting an eye job like some Manhattanite, huh?
Kramer made a pass at you?
You're crazy.
He stopped short?
That's my move.
I'm gonna kill him!
Assman?
I'll get him, Assman!
Where's your friend Kramer?
Because I'm looking for him.
That's why.
He stopped short.
In a car, with my wife.
He stopped short.
You think I don't know what that's about?
That's my old move!
I used it on Estelle forty years ago!
I told everybody about it!
Everybody knows!
(Demonstrates) Hmmph!
I stopped short.
You're not kidding it's a good move!
Don't Frank me!
I know what you did.
How dare you stop short with my wife!
You think I don't know, Assman?!!
To think I almost split the profits on the Manssierre with you.
Manssierre!
Manssierre!
You...!
Aah!!!
It was a million to one shot, Doc.
Million to one.
I fell on some Fusilli.
You know, the corkscrew pasta.
It was a Fusilli Jerry.
It got stuck in me.
Had to go to the proctologist.
Yeah.
I once talked to the reverend Yung Son Moon.
He bought two Jesus statues from me.
He's a hell of a nice guy.
Ever see that face on him?
Like a Biiig apple pie.
No one is touching my feet.
Between you and me, Elaine, I think I've got a foot odour problem.
I had an affair with a Korean woman.
No, I feel I need to unburden myself.
I loved her very deeply.
But the clash of cultures was too much.
Her family would not accept me.
Maybe it was because I refused to take off my shoes.
Again, the foot odour problem.
Her father would look at me and say, ' eno enoa juang '.
Which means, 'this guy - this is not my kind of guy'.
I'll take a manicure.
I don't take my shoes off for anyone.
What was that?
They made a derogatory comment about me.
Okay, THAT'S IT!
'oki on awa' Where's my tail?
I heard every word you said.
You got some nerve.
(from other room) I never seen people treated like this!
Kim?
I couldn't because I had a potential foot problem.
I wiped them for two minutes on the mat.
I don't know why your father had to make a federal case out of it.
Between you and me I think your country is placing a lot of importance on shoe removal.
You come here.
What?
Get the hell out of here.
He's getting married?
To a woman?
I'm sure she's pretty gorgeous.
She's not pretty?
Okay...
Can I talk to her, please?
So, what do you think?
Your old man can look pretty good when he wants to, huh?
What's the matter with this tie?
I've hardly worn it.
How do you know what kind of ties they wear?
Oh, get the hell outta here.
7th Avenue.
Huh?
We gotta stop off and pick up a marble rye from Schnitzer's.
No!
We have to go to Schnitzer's!
I'll show these people something about taste!
What is this thing anyway?
What is that, like a little chicken?
Gamebird?
What do you mean?
Like, you - you hunt it?
How hard could it be to kill this thing?
Yeah.
I'll take some.
Thank you.
Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster.
The rooster goes with the chicken.
So, who's having sex with the hen?
But you see my point here?
You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken.
Something's missing!
That's perverse.
Hey!
Hey!
Come on!
Come on!
I haven't seen it yet.
Still!
Still!
I like to go in fresh!
And who doesn't serve cake after a meal?
What kind of people?
Would it kill them to put out a pound cake?
Something!
Not impolite...it's stupid, that's what it is.
You gotta be stupid to do something like that!
No, I brought it in.
They never put it out.
What do you mean stole?
It's my bread.
They didn't eat it.
Why should I leave it there?
Apparently, it wasn't good enough for them to serve.
Aw, they didn't forget to put it out!
It's deliberate!
Deliberate, I tell ya!
What the hell did you trade Jay Buener for?!?
He had 30 home runs, and over 100 RBIs last year.
He's got a rocket for an arm - - you don't know what the hell you're doin'!!
Jerry, it's Frank Costanza, Mr.
Steinbrenner's here, George is dead, call me back!
I was out for five minutes before, I couldn't feel my extremities.
This is your dressing room?
They treat you like Toscanini.
Not really.
Are you telling me there's not one condo available in all of Del Boca Vista?
How'd you get yours?
Are you trying to keep us out of Del Boca Vista?!
Has nothing to do with the weather, it's because of the Seinfelds.
They don't want us there, so we're going.
We're moving right into Del Boca Vista!
Absolutely.
No one tells Frank Costanza what to do!
You think you could keep us out of Florida?
We're moving in lock, stock and barrel.
We're gonna be in the pool.
We're gonna be in the clubhouse.
We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court!
And I dare you to keep me out!
Take my swim trunks.
I won't need them.
Why should they go to waste?!?
George, as you may be aware, your mother and I are not moving to Del Boca Vista, Florida.
So, I was wondering, would it be okay if I turned your room into a billiard parlor?
Regulation table, the hi-fi, maybe even a bar..
Give it real authenticity..
(Interested) There's a Costanza in Tuscany?
(Elaine nods) Did he look like me?
Did you talk to him?
I gotta get that picture - it could be my cousin, Carlo.
I played with him every day until the age of four - and then we separated.
No.
That's why I can never be president..
It always irked me.
That's why, even at an early age, I had no interest in politics.
I refuse to vote.
(Yelling out) They don't want me, I don't want them!
(Cutting him off) Don't bring me down.
(To Elaine) Do you have another copy of that photo?
The Maestro?
What Maestro?
Eight ball.
You like to gamble, Cosmo?
Five dollars a game, huh?
Okay.
We still haven't finished the first game.
(To Estelle) he knows the Maestro.
He could have the picture..
(Yelling out) You don't know that!
(Estelle leaves, slamming the door) We're gonna go see him, huh?
(Sensing the game is going to last a long time) Oh boy.
His name was Carlo Costanza.
We played together everyday until I was four.
If I could just look through your photographs, maybe I could recognize him.
(Trying to concentrate) Yes, It's, uh, it's..
uh, uh..
What do you call it, Kramer?
No, not billiard..
(Scolding) Not billiards..
it was..
Come on, already.
Come on..
We call it..
the, uh..
The place to be!
Yes!
It's the place to be.
It's him!
(Standing up) It's Carlo Costanza!
I'd know him anywhere.
I still say we're related.
(Complaining) I can't make anything..
Follow through?
What do you mean?
It's a little unnatural, but I think I'm getting the hang of it.
(Holding up a picture) Here, take a look at this.
It's Carlo.
I found him!
(Yelling out) You never support me!
Let's see what George says about this..
Where're my pants?
(Takes his pair off a rack and leaves)
(Holding up the picture) Take a look at this.
Doesn't that look like my flesh and blood?
Of course, your mother- (His attention is drawn over to Susan's doll.
Like George did earlier, he starts to imagine that the doll is scolding him as his wife would)
(Walking toward the doll) Ridiculous?!
I'll show you ridiculous!
(Struggles with Susan for possession of the doll) Come here!
(Holding out the head in his hand, he addresses it) There!
Now what have you got to say for yourself?!
(Sets a gift he's brought down) Carlo!
It's me, Frank!
(Attempts to hug the guy, but he resists - pushing Frank away.
He scolds Frank in another language) I'm your cousin, Frank!
Aren't you Carlo?
(Realizing) What do you know..
Alright.
(Picking up his present) I guess I was wrong.
(Walks off)
Okay, where's my boy?
I'm sitting at home, reading a periodical, and this is the call I get?
My son is a bootlegger?
(He hits George in the head)
Who put you up to this, was it her?
My George isn't clever enough to hatch a scheme like this.
What the hell does that mean?
You sayin' you want a piece of me?
You wanna piece of me?
You got it!
(They begin to fight)
What are you wearing, an athletic sweat suit?
Cook?
No, I don't know any cooks.
I don't know anything about cooking!
In my mind, there's a war still going on.
Inchon, Korea, 1950.
I was the best cook Uncle Sam ever saw, slinging hash for the Fighting 103rd.
As we marched north, our supply lines were getting thin.
One day a couple of GIs found a crate, inside were six hundred pounds of prime Texas steer.
At least it once was prime.
The Use date was three weeks past, but I was arrogant, I was brash, I thought if I used just the right spices, cooked it long enough...
I went too far.
I over seasoned it.
Men were keeling over all around me.
I can still hear the retching, the screaming.
I sent sixteen of my own men to the latrines that night.
They were just boys.
Tell that to Bobby Colby.
All that kid wanted to do was go home.
Well he went home alright, with a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet.
Had to sit him on a cork the eighteen-hour flight home!
No.
No, I'll never cook again!
Never!
Now get out of my house!!
Get out.
Go.
It's dry.
Well it sucks.
Your meatloaf is mushy, your salmon croquettes are oily and your eggplant parmesan is a disgrace to this house!
Not any more!
Gimme that spatula!
I'm back, baby!
You still need a cook?
Ya got T-Fal?
No!
Follow me.
Where's the powdered sugar?
No breaks.
I fell reborn, I'm like a Phoenix rising from Arizona.
Noooo!!!
Don't eat it!
No good!'
Get outta here!
We have a booth.
Order a hot dish.
(Yelling) That's not a booth!
(Loud shouting) I didn't take the subway all the way to New York to sit at a table like that!
(Gestures to the table)
Now, George, what do you want to know about your childhood?
(Looks up) Where's that breeze coming from?
(looks up to heaven) She's deceased.
(looks to Estelle) She had problems.
(Estelle nods) Internal.
Also internal problems.
What about your side?
Your cousin Hennie.
(animated) She was sickly from the moment I met her!
So far.
She'd never make it.
We're having an upscale dinner.
So, we're blowing it all.
(holding out his tie) Look George, it's a Pierre Cardin.
That's your mother's new car.
It's a Coupe de Elegance.
(claps his hands) You can drop a grand in Disneyworld, like that.
That's right.
That's me on the left.
Thirty years ago, we came to an agreement.
It was the only way I could get some rest.
(confidential) Estelle's got the (jerks his elbow) jimmy arms.
Like you wouldn't believe.
It's too late.
We bought a condo at Del Boca Vista.
We're leaving tonight.
He's not family.
It's different, psychologically.
(coming away from the window) I saw a bum sleeping in a Cadillac the other day.
They don't nap.
They make it their home.
They urinate in there!
(standing) That's it, we're going back to Queens.
(claps hands) Where's my hat?
I got no leg room back here.
Move your seat forward.
There's a mechanism.
You just pull it, and throw your body weight.
If you want the leg room, say you want the leg room!
Don't blame the mechanism!
Like an animal.
Because of her, I have to sit here like an animal!
Serenity now!
Serenity now!
Doctor gave me a relaxation cassette.
When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say, 'Serenity now!'
The man on the tape wasn't specific.
Serenity nowww!
Serenity now!
Will you put her to rest for me?
My computers.
I've been selling them for two months now.
Shut up!
Two months ago, I saw a provocative movie on cable TV.
It was called The Net, with that girl from the bus.
I did a little reading, and I realize, it wasn't that farfetched.
Yes, I do.
That's why I got a secret weapon... my son.
I'm not 'dad' in the workplace.
My professional name is Mr.
Costanza, and I will refer to you as 'Costanza'.
Morning, Braun.
Your mother recommended him.
I didn't read his resume.
(Drawing a zero under George's name) This is your lagging.
Good work, Braun.
You're late again, Costanza, so listen up.
Starting tonight, we're having a little sales contest.
The loser gets fired, the winner gets a Waterpik.
Serenity now!
I guess your mother was right.
You never could compete with Lloyd Braun!
(Lloyd rings his sale bell and smiles)
Hey, Braun, Costanza's kicking your butt!
Costanza, you're white hot!
Hey, Braun, I got good news and bad news.
And they're both the same: you're fired.
Costanza, you've won the water pik!
You wanna bet?
Serenity now, serenity now!
You single-handedly brought Costanza and Son to the brink of bankruptcy.
He's crazy.
His phone wasn't even hooked up.
He just liked ringing that bell.
This is a place of business.
I told you never to come in here.
Serenity now!
So, what am I supposed to say?
No you're not!
Hoochie mama!
Hoochie mama!
Who is this?
(hanging up) Sorry, George, our Chinese food just came.
Talk to you later.
Well, we got to get moving.
We have a catered affair.
(leaving the kitchen) It's creative black tie.
Move, woman.
I don't know what you mean.
George, we've had it with you.
Understand?
We love you like a son, but even parents have limits.
What my wife is trying to say is that this is supposed to be our time.
We're cuttin' you lose.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make love to your mother.
(coming upon the van) Good.
He left the door unlocked.
Isn't it obvious?
There are no parking meters out here.
(reclining the seats in the van to a bed) Hey, look at this.
Hoochie mama!
What you saw in that van was a natural expression of a man's love for his lady.
And it was safe.
Now if you'll excuse me.
Once again, your mother and I...
(on TV) You step on it and it flushes.
Kramer, I got your message.
I haven't celebrated Festivus in years!
What is your interest?
Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son.
I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man.
As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way!
It was destroyed.
But out of that, a new holiday was born.
'A Festivus for the rest of us!'
She was.
And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.
No.
Instead, there's a pole.
It requires not decoration.
I find tinsel distracting.
Let's do it then!
Festivus is back!
I'll get the pole out of the crawl space.
(Turns to leave, meets up with Elaine)
Hello, woman.
(leaves)
George, Festivus is your heritage - it's part of who you are.
George, you're forgetting how much Festivus has meant to us all.
I brought one of the casette tapes.
(Franks pushes play, George as a child celebrating Festivus is heard)
Read that poem.
You don't need glasses, you're just weak!
You're weak!
Alright, George.
It's time for the feats of strength.
We had some good times.
George?
This is a surprise.
(Looking at Kruger) Who's the suit?
Have you seen the pole, Kruger?
He's gonna see it.
It's made from aluminum.
Very high strength-to-weight ratio.
Let's begin.
Welcome, new comers.
The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances.
I got a lot of problems with you people!
And now you're gonna hear about it!
You, Kruger.
My son tells me your company stinks!
(To George) Quiet, you'll get yours in a minute.
Kruger, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe..
I lost my train of thought.
And now as Festivus rolls on, we come to the feats of strength.
This year, the honor goes to Mr.
Kramer.
Good thinking, Kruger.
Until you pin me, George, Festivus is not over!
(Taking off his sweater) Let's rumble!
Stop crying, and fight your father!
This is the best Festivus ever!
Eight years have I had this car.
Not a scratch on it!
Eight years!
A beautiful Mercury!
I special-ordered that bench seat!
(to George) You know, my insurance doesn't cover this?
The whole thing is a total loss!
No it isn't!
Where the hell is my paper?
Well... thank you very much!
Yes?
Under arrest?
What for?
What's that?
George!
George!
You're supposed to your face there!
Do you see your face in there?
Yeah?
...oh really?...oh... how about that?... Right down a hill huh?
Okay!
Alight!
Bye!
George, forget about the shoes.
Want you to do something for me (scribbles something on a piece of paper).
This handicapped woman had an accident.
Somebody gave her a used wheelchair with defective brakes.
Anyway, I want you to pick up this big screen TV, and deliver it to her.
Do you think you can handle it?
Look at this, George.
(Takes a coin out of his pocket) You ever seen a silver dollar?
Would you believe when I was 18, I had a ssssilver dollar collection?
(Still looking at his coin) You know, I couldn't bring myself to spend one of these.
I got some kind of a-a-a-a-a phobia.
I bet that collection would be worth a lot of money today.
(does a form of magic trick making the coin disappear as he shows George an empty hand)
I don't like this waiter.
(Holds up his hand to get the waiters attention - starts snapping) Look at him..
He sees us..
he doesn't want to come over.
(Looking up from his paper) Who the hell did'ya ever mention his hands to?
You never mentioned them to me!
No!
You never said milky white!
(To Estelle, referring to the Jell-O) Why'd you put the bananas in there?!
(Trying to match her tone) So let him have bananas on the side!
Why do you need all that ketchup for?
So I, I talked to Phil Casacof today.
Yeah, you know my friend, the bra salesman.
He says they are looking maybe to put somebody on so I got you an interview next Friday with his boss.
2 o'clock.
You can look for sneakers the next day!
Well, it wouldn't hurt to go in the and be able to discuss it intelligently.
Maybe you should take a look at a few bras?
(to Estelle) Where is you bra?
Give him a bra to look.
Why not?
Why, so he'll go to the interview and he wouldn't know what he's talking about!?!
You don't even know what they're made from.
Get out of here!
Lycra-spandex?
Wanna bet?
How much you wanna bet?
Take a look.
(Yelling to Estelle as she leaves)I don't know what the big problem is getting a bra?!
I'm not saying go to the library and read the whole history, but it wouldn't kill you to know a little bit about it.
How long it takes to find a bra?
What's going on in there?
You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in two seconds...you know about the uh cup sizes and all?
They have different cups.
You got the A, the B, the C and the D.
That's the biggest.
Let me see it.
Let me see it.
Hmm, that's surprising.
All right, what else?
You got the cups in the front, two loops in the back.
All right, a guess that's about it.
What do you mean you felt the material?
What, with your fingers like this?
What ever happened to 'Why, that's a lovely dress you have on.
May I have this dance?'!!
Tommy Tune is a very good dancer.
(hits George on the head with what seems to be the tvguide) You ever see Tommy Tune dance?
Tap dancing.
Anyone can tap dance.
It's all in those shoes.
Tommy Tune is very tall.
That helps.
It makes him lankier.
Hey!
Lloyd!
How are you doing, Lloyd?
I hear you're a big advisor for Dinkins now.
Your arm moves like this?
(does the nudging motion)
(continues to move his arm) I never seen your arm move like this.
It's like some kind of aaaaa (snapping his fingers) spasm.
You mentioned George's name to Mayor Dinkins?
You discussed George with the mayor of New York?
(grabbing the card) Hey, Mayor Dinkins set this up for you.
You know what kind of a doctor this must be if Dinkins knows him?
I don't think it's so bad.
People should wear name tags.
Everyone would be a lot friendlier.
'Hello, Sam.' 'How are you doing, Joe?' (George's arm moves and hits the lamp) Hey, your arm.
It moved again.
I thought you said it went away.
Where's the mail?

Is there anything wrong with getting a receipt at a toll booth?

(examining mail) This stack should be bigger, where's the TV Guide?

I'm missing TV Guide volume forty-one, number thirty-one.

Elaine took it?

(shouting) How could you let her take the TV Guide?!

The nerve of that woman.
Walking into my house, stealing my collectible!

(taking the packet) What is this?
(accusingly to George) A prophylactic wrapper?!

You were having sex on our bed?!

Your bed is too small?
I'm gone two weeks and you turn our house into, into Bourbon Street!

That's it!
You're grounded!

You wanna live here?
You respect the rules of our house.
(yells) You're grounded!

How do you just walk into a house and take a TV Guide?
How does she expect you to watch TV?
(doorbell rings) Am I just supposed to turn it on and wander aimlessly around the dial?

(shouting) And she's not welcome in this house!

(yelling) That's my TV Guide!
Ripped to shreds!
She gave that to you?!

Those.
I've been saving those from the beginning.

Why'd you take my TV Guide?

(examining magazine) What is this?
You got stains all over it!
What the hell'd you do?

(yelling) I'll talk to her any way I want!

You've been in there an hour.

George, open the door.

A woman?
What are you out of your mind?

Wait.
Is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?

I'm calling my lawyer.
It might not be too late to get out of this.

What, they brainwashed you?

You're not performing any rituals in this house.

And stay away from those squirrels.

They're not coming?
Well what difference does it make?
They wouldn't lie to us, they're are dear friends.
Maybe?
Why wouldn't they like us?
(tastes the Paella;
disgusted) Again with the pepper?
What do you gotta use all the pepper for?
What are you trying to set my mouth on fire?
Of course they're coming, they're leaving soon.
If they don't come tonight they might not see us.
I admire Morty and Helen going to France.
We should take a trip, maybe a cruise.
(jumping to his feet) OK that's it!
We're moving!
I will not tolerate infestation.
Don't you understand the very thought, the very idea, I'll never be comfortable again.
First Kramer, then Elaine?
It's a slap in the face.
What are they too good for us?
A raincoat salesman, I could buy and sell 'em like that.
Let's forget about it.
We're going on a beautiful vacation.
(sits down in his chair)
You're mother and I are planning on taking a cruise.
But I can't find any vacation clothes.
They were in the attic.
How can I go on a cruise with out my cabana wear?
I love those, those clothes.
(Looks down yells) AH!
(jumps out of his chair) A mouse!
I saw a mouse!
(takes off into another room with glass doors on it and shuts the door)
(looking from the room;
you can see him through the glass) Where the hell are my clothes?
I love those clothes.
I just don't understand how all those clothes can disappear.
Moths, ate three boxes?
That shirt, where'd you get that shirt?
That's my cabana shirt, you stole my shirt you son of a bitch!
(really fast) George you let your friends go up in my attic and steal my clothes?
(grabbing at the shirt) Gimme that back
Who's Rudy?
What clothes?
You sold my clothes (smacks George on the forehead) what do you mean you sold my clothes?
It's cruise wear!
THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S MINE!!
Who's this Rudy?
Morty Seinfeld?
He's a bum.
Tomorrow I'm going straight down to this Rudy and get my clothes.
You burned them?
Those clothes are not yours to burn.
I'm the father.
He said I was dead?
That's what my life is worth to him?
Twenty-five dollars.
Oh, I just want to you know I'm retracting our dinner invitation.
I'm retracting that it was ever offered.
Oh, you trying to unload some of that junk of yours?
That's another one of my shirts!!
My clothes don't have moths!
I just hope those exterminators know what they're doing.
Blow out the candles!
Blow out the candles, I said!
Blow out the damn candles!
Blow out the candles!!
Don't get in trouble with the Yankees.
You be nice.
(Slaps George's forehead)
Ya know what I like about Manhattan?
There's no mosquitoes.
Queens is full of mosquitoes.
Gnats, too.
If I'm not mistaken.
(angry) Your mother has to tell you every move I make?!
They didn't say hello?
They couldn't just say hello?!... Oh, to hell with them.
Elaine, I can see, not sayin' hello.
She's very--what's the word--uh, supercilious.
(shouting and clapping hands in anger) How could Jerry not say Hello?!!
Your mother changed her mind... (tries to catch a fly with his hand)
Yeah, we worked it out.
He was my lawyer.
Yeah.
So what?
He's very independent;
he doesn't follow the trends.
(shouting) You have no eye for fashion!!!
Jerry, how come you didn't say hello to me the other day, huh?!
(to George, pointing) I knew it was Elaine!!
(shouts after them) You want a divorce?!!?
You got one!!!