It's a statsd! Kind of!

fake-statsd.rb

#!/usr/bin/env ruby

require 'socket'
require 'optparse'

port = 8125
pattern = /./

OptionParser.new do |opts|
  opts.banner = "Usage: #{File.basename(__FILE__)} [options]"

  opts.on("-p", "--port=PORT", Integer)  { |val| port = val }
  opts.on("-m", "--match=REGEX", String) { |val| pattern = /#{val}/ }
  opts.parse!
end

u = UDPSocket.new
u.bind(nil, port)

puts "Listening on #{port} for datagrams matching #{pattern.inspect}…"

while true
  text, sender = u.recvfrom(65535)
  puts "#{Time.now}: #{text}" if text =~ pattern
end