Being a horrid troll; move along...

file_in_which_i_define_a_function_that_uses_several_small_and_single-purpose_helper_functions_to_manipulate_a_set_of_clearly_named_variables_with_the_ultimate_purpose_of_creating_something_that_looks_like_a_spiral_galaxy.js

var useSeveralSmallAndSinglePurposeHelperFunctionsToManipulateASetOfClearlyNamedVariablesWithTheUltimatePurposeOfCreatingSomethingThatLooksLikeASpiralGalaxy = function () {
    var imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy = 0;
    var imCallingThisVariableDistanceInArbitraryUnitsAlongTheCurveToMakeBrianHappy = 0;
    var imCallingThisVariableTemporaryCounterVariableToMakeBrianHappy = 0;
    var imCallingThisTheArrayOfStarsThatHasOneSubarrayForEachArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy = [];

    var getARandomColorThatIsEitherBluishOrReddish = function () {
        // returns a random color that is either bluish or reddish.
        // used in addStar().
    }

    var addStar = function (arm, x, y) {
        // creates a star and adds it to the array of stars that has
        // one subarray for each arm in the spiral galaxy.
    }

    var drawStar = function (star) {
        // draws a star on the canvas using its x and y position,
        // randomly generated color, and a completely arbitrary
        // measure of size to which we should avoid using any
        // convenient name to refer in the interest of not going afoul
        // of physics or code clarity.
    }

    for (imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy = 0; imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy < 7; imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy += 1) {
        imCallingThisTheArrayOfStarsThatHasOneSubarrayForEachArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy[imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy] = []
        for (imCallingThisVariableDistanceInArbitraryUnitsAlongTheCurveToMakeBrianHappy = 1; imCallingThisVariableDistanceInArbitraryUnitsAlongTheCurveToMakeBrianHappy < 1000; imCallingThisVariableDistanceInArbitraryUnitsAlongTheCurveToMakeBrianHappy += 1) {
            for (imCallingThisVariableTemporaryCounterVariableToMakeBrianHappy = 0; imCallingThisVariableTemporaryCounterVariableToMakeBrianHappy < 5000; imCallingThisVariableTemporaryCounterVariableToMakeBrianHappy += 10 * imCallingThisVariableDistanceInArbitraryUnitsAlongTheCurveToMakeBrianHappy) {
                addStar(imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy, imCallingThisVariableDistanceInArbitraryUnitsAlongTheCurveToMakeBrianHappy + rn(70), 100 * Math.log(imCallingThisVariableDistanceInArbitraryUnitsAlongTheCurveToMakeBrianHappy - 2) + rn(60))
            }
        }
    }

    return {
        draw: function () {
            var imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy = 0
            context.save()
            context.translate(cw(700), ch(300))
            context.rotate(Math.PI / 7)
            for (imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy = 0; imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy < 7; imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy += 1) {
                Array.each(imCallingThisTheArrayOfStarsThatHasOneSubarrayForEachArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy[imCallingThisVariableIndexOfArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy], drawStar)
                context.rotate(2 / 7 * Math.PI)
            }
            context.restore()
        },
        stars: imCallingThisTheArrayOfStarsThatHasOneSubarrayForEachArmInTheSpiralGalaxyToMakeBrianHappy,
    };
};