The Node Inclusivity Working Group, of which I believe to be well intentioned people, have many github issues with long threads discussing topics such as diversity, gender, inclusivity, slander, etc. If you're ever bored and want to waste an afternoon (like I just did), run amok through those issues and witness sensitivity and self-consciousness manifested.
The foundation members in this working group go a long way in attempting to ensure everyone that there are no real punitive measures invoked by this community:
"...the goal of this endeavor is not to "heal" or "shield" people of things that have hurt them." 1
In response to a comment about how the working group may actually be excluding more people than it is including with respect to non-native English speakers, yet another foundation member response cries no harm, no foul:
"...your assumption is that this language will be punitively policed when in reality it will be enforced the same way code style is enforced which is to correct during review in a non-punitive manor whenever the author is not intentionally offensive." 2
And most excruciatingly, some foundation members seem uncomfortable with the very word punishment (although words with zero context can apparently be very offensive):
"This thread has had 3 mentions of the word 'punishment' so far, which is concerning, and makes me think we might not all be talking about the same issue:
Punishment is completely irrelevant to the goal of moderation and inclusivity. It's not about the individual, it's about the sustained health of the community." 3
Yet, when this same foundation member tweeted, suggesting real punishment for Douglas Crockford, she seemed very comfortable when the results went her way.
This working group is naive to think that what they do/don't do will not have real effects on the community. In a way, I feel bad for the Nodevember conference organizers. They said it best: "We are in over our heads.". It is difficult (nearly impossible?) to ignore or discredit a community of people (again: well-intentioned I believe) that claim to stand for diversity, inclusivity, and the like. However, tactics are important and sometimes, the ends do not justify the means.
To put it more bluntly, in my opinion: Anyone who is offended by a pronoun needs to re-examine their sensitivity.