gistfile1.txt

Hello all,

I've removed references to the decommissioned [server names] from the front end haproxy config and am about to upload this amended file to the servers and reload the service.

Please be aware that this may format the server hard drives, reset all account SSH keys and re-enable root access for the general dev population. It may demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your cash-machine access code, screw up the tracking on your vintage VHS tape player and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

It could give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. May mix antifreeze into your fish tank.  It might drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over. There's a small chance that it will hide your car keys when you are late for work (or in Fritz's case trying to get home) and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only Radio 4 while stuck in traffic.

It just might give you nightmares about circus midgets, while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel assignations to your credit card. There is a chance that it will seduce your grandmother.  It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of a misconfigured haproxy config, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

However in all likelihood it will reload with no impact on the live service.