This node.js "server" is my "make very URL I've ever made still work" add on to my own https://github.com/thepatrick/frontendserver http router.

redirectengine.js

var http = require('http');

http.createServer(function(req, res){

  function giveup(code) {
    if(code == 410) {
      res.writeHead(410, {
        Server: "pfe+redirect",
        "X-Patrick-Says": "Redirect Engine in just 41 lines of code. node.js rocks"
      });
      res.end("This content is gone, there is no forwarding address. Sorry.");
    } else { 
      res.writeHead(302, {
        Location: "http://thepatrick.com.au/",
        Server: "pfe/redirect",
        "X-Patrick-Says": "Redirect Engine in just 41 lines of code. node.js rocks"
      });
      res.end("Redirecting to http://thepatrick.com.au/");      
    }
  }

  function re(url, m, destUrl, status) {
    if(_ref = url.match(new RegExp(m))) {
      for(var idx = 1; idx < _ref.length; idx++) {
        destUrl = destUrl.replace("$" + idx, _ref[idx]);
      }
      if(status == 410) {
        giveup(410);
      } else {
        res.writeHead(status || 302, {
          Location: destUrl,
          Server: "pfe/redirect",
          "X-Patrick-Says": "Redirect Engine in just 41 lines of code. node.js rocks"
        });
        res.end();      
      }
      return true;
    }
    return false;
  }

  // frontendserver rewrites URLs like "http://soapbox.co.nz/somewhere" to "http://127.0.0.1:10394/soapbox/somewhere"
  if(req.url.substring(0, 15) == "/patrickgeeknz/") {
    patrickgeeknz(re.bind(null, req.url.substring(15)), giveup);
  } else if(req.url.substring(0, 9) == "/soapbox/") {
    soapbox(re.bind(null, req.url.substring(9)), function() {
      patrickgeeknz(re.bind(null, req.url.substring(9)), giveup);
    });
  } else {
    giveup();
  }
}).listen(10394, function() {
  console.log("Up and running on http://localhost:10394/ ...");
});

function soapbox(re, giveup) {

  // Either 301 (permanent) and 302 (temporary) HTTP status codes are supported
  if(re("^bar"), 302)) return; 
  if(re("^bam"), 301)) return; 

  // Simple substituion is supported
  if(re("^past/([0-9]{4})/([0-9]{1,2})[/]?([0-9]{1,2})?[/]?$", "http://myio.com.au/archive/$1/$2/", 301)) return;

  // 410 (and no forwarding URL, obviously) and it'll send a 410 gone instead
  if(re("^gone", null, 410)) return;
  
  // If none of our rules match we giveup(),
  // which in this case tries the patrickgeeknz() set below
  giveup();
}

function patrickgeeknz(re, giveup) {

  // Send the default thing away
  if(re("^$", "http://thepatrick.com.au/", 301)) return;

  giveup();

}