Serialized Data Blob Whittling technique. This one grabs the created date out of the ubercart order id.

SQL for Blobs

SELECT
  FROM_UNIXTIME(
      SUBSTRING_INDEX(
          SUBSTRING_INDEX(
              SUBSTRING_INDEX(uo.data, 'created', -1),
              ';}', 1),
          ';i:', -1)
  )
    AS `Created Date`
FROM bitch_prod.uc_orders uo
WHERE uo.data LIKE '%created%'