Hacker Trading Cards

Name
Type
Description
Beard Bonus

Paul Buchheit
More Than Just The Gmail Guy
Paul's a CWRU grad. We put him on here to try to get him to give a talk or interview at the CWRU Hacker Society. So, Paul, if you see this please email sj@case.edu!

John McCarthy
Creator of Lisp
Lisp Chainsaw: +20 damage
Parentheses: Slow all enemies unless opponent's IDE autocompletes. New cards must be represented with eth-ekthprethionth.
Beard Bonus: 80

Alan Kay
Enemy of the British Government
Everything is now an object. OOPs!
Mustache Bonus: 15

Edsger W. Dijkstra
Formally Verified
Shortest path: +1 to speed
Ineffective if GOTO in play
Beard Bonus: 40

Richard Stallman
Source Code Freedom Fighter
GNU Manifesto: 30 damage to closed-source constructs in play belonging any player. +10 additional damage if player can be convinced to work on the Hurd.
Beard Bonus: 100

Donald Knuth
Doctor of the Art of Computer Programming
High-TeX Typesetting: deals 1 damage for each as-yet-unwritten word in Volume 4 of TAoCP unless opponent pays $2.56.
+2 to all defenses if an organ is in play.
Beard Bonus: 0

Eric S. Raymond
Steward of Culture
Jargon Battle: Flip a coin. If heads, build a cathedral. If tails, build a bazaar.
Release Early, Release Often: +20 health to open-source constructs due to source code contributions.
Beard Bonus: 2

Tim Berners-Lee
Inventor of the World Wide Web
Hypertext Transfer: Deal opponent +10 damage unless they control a Spam Filter. 
Web Standards: If anyone still uses IE6, randomly redistribute all cards in the play area.
Beard Bonus: 0

Dennis Ritchie
Man Who Could C The Future
Null Pointer: Opponent takes +15 damage. 10% chance of shooting yourself in the foot for +5 damage.
Doubles the effects of Thompson, Torvalds, and Stallman.
Beard Bonus: 90

Ken Thompson
Stand Back, He Invented Regular Expressions!
Minimax: Think ahead of your opponent and deal them +10 damage.
Doubles the effects of Ritchie, Torvalds, and Stallman.
Beard Bonus: 80

Steve Wozniak
Champion of the PC Revolution
+40 to hardware efficiency and wonkiness. All cards now fit in 4k of memory... somehow.
Beard Bonus: 20

Linus Torvalds
Unrepentant Git
Now that Linus is on your side, you are always right!
If Stallman is on the table, players must fistfight.
Beard Bonus: 0

John Carmack
Harbinger of Doom
Raycasting: Opponent takes +25 damage and is overrun by exquisitely rendered aliens.
Doubles the effects of all graphics cards.
Beard Bonus: 0

Ada Lovelace
The Original Hacker
Gain +10 to intelligence for corresponding with Lady Lovelace.
Analytical Engine: 20 damage to opponent for arriving at confused ideas.
Beard Bonus: -10