gistfile1.txt

### 1. i think realistically women want both. and both of those groups each already have one, so they’re trying to acquire the other

### 2. the addictive & isolating cycle of deep work:

### 3. being articulate might be the most underrated skill of all time. it's *the* most direct path to influence (aside from inheritance). it's a core competency of all the characteristics that make people trust you, look to you for direction: persuasiveness, charisma, sales, leadership

### 4. filling life with beauty is such a low hanging fruit way to improve our day to day, but i feel like we sometimes forget that beauty isn’t just visual—it’s five dimensional. i made a list (non-exhaustive) to remind myself what feels beautiful to all five senses.

### 5. life feels VERY different when you go from optimizing for appearances (looking like you have your shit together, heading in a direction that seems "good") to optimizing for alignment (*feeling* like you have your shit together, headed in a direction that *you* are excited about)

### 6. people think my lower case aesthetic is a gen z trend but it's actually me modelling myself after my 70 y/o former applied math + indian philosophy professor who only writes emails in lower case, never proofreads, has a flip phone, drinks cappuccinos and is generally just the man

### 7. his essays on understanding the mind are LETHAL:

https://mast.queensu.ca/~murty/mind.pdf
https://mast.queensu.ca/~murty/world.pdf…
https://mast.queensu.ca/~murty/mental.pdf…

### 8. being around someone who is completely present and genuinely does not need any validation or approval is transcendent. the magnetism of their calmness and inner ease is unmatched. everyone wants to be around them and yet they seem indifferent to the attention. it’s quite special

### 9. do you ever think about how you’re gonna convince your future kids to read books despite them inevitably having access to infinite and highly captivating entertainment in literally every format they could ever want at their fingertips at any given moment because me rn

### 10. i try not to be prescriptive but i can’t think of a person this would be bad advice for so i’m gonna go ahead:

if there’s one thing i suggest doing in the new year, it’s writing regularly. it will improve how you approach, perceive, and address every problem in your life.

### 11. be cringe in 2023. your life will legit get better on every front this is not a joke

### 12. if you constantly chase your edge of cringe you are probably getting closer to truth and authenticity because that is precisely what cringes people out

### 13. conquering the fear of being cringe is fully a rite of passage to living life on your own terms

### 14. yes. act out what you want to be first, then watch yourself become what you are acting out. 

(acting like cringe is cool makes it cool—at least to you, which is all that really matters)

### 15. this comes back to self image. by solving for positive self image (high intrinsic opinion of yourself), you can do anything without worrying about being cringe. we cringe when we think about ourselves in the context of external approval

i wrote about this

### 16. the reason you need to get over being cringe is because success requires shamelessness

once you feel no shame, you are free to do anything, to try as hard as you can, to fail and then try again. if you are ashamed of who you are, you can never fully self-actualize.

### 17. i asked my former professor why he wakes up at 4am every day to do 3 hours of focused work and he said:

“the ego is quietest in the morning”

and that has stuck with me ever since

### 18. have i applied the insight? no i have not but i still think about it quite often so that’s gotta count for something right

### 19. same professor lol

### 20. i featured another quote of his in one of my essays, ‘why i write’:

### 21. my theory is that if you’re a divergent person in nature (high in openness, creativity, curiosity, energy) you are more likely to be a night person, and if you’re a more convergent person (high in industriousness, orderliness, seeks structure) you’re likely to be a morning person

### 22. confidence is the product of honouring little contracts you make with yourself.

### 23. "loneliness does not come from
having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” — carl jung

### 24. do you ever read a book and just think wow i am so grateful that this human took the time and energy to distill their most potent thoughts into one little package of words i can consume and internalize and inform myself with for the rest of my life. like books are just so lovely!

### 25. there’s something about the act of doing something new, meeting someone new, going somewhere new where it oddly feels like you’re getting to know yourself for the first time too? like: the blank context gives you permission to momentarily reinvent yourself and see what you find

### 26. the older i get the more i realize that adults are just kids that have aged

when you’re a child, the barrier between you and adults seems so big but when you become one, you realize you’re not that far from your child self and neither is anyone around you, even those much older.

### 27. an affirmation i’m loving: the people i’m looking for are looking for me.

### 28. burnout comes from spending too much time chasing the future instead of operating from the present

when you’re present, you never feel empty because you’re never reaching for something you can’t grasp (the future). your attention is only focused on the moment you’re currently in

### 29. "at one point i looked at myself and realized: i don't find myself very interesting right now. if i were to meet myself in this moment, i wouldn't be very interested in getting to know me. i felt like i had lost my personal spark."

### 30. i think true love can only flow between two people when they both feel whole independently. otherwise, there are always conditions and constraints attached to their love.

as in: when one person needs the other person to make them feel whole, the love becomes strained.

### 31. do you ever meet someone and know right away that what this person is missing in their life is permission from themselves to be a little silly

### 32. had the pleasure of chatting with a 90 y/o man last night about his life. i asked for his advice for someone in their 20s—he thought for awhile then said:

“marry well and never stop learning”

when i asked why those two of all things, he said:

“that’s how you live a happy life”

### 33. a friend once told me that my unique talent is that i am able to get to know people extremely well in an extremely short period of time—that i have a knack for asking the specific set of questions that gets to someone’s essence in just one interaction.

### 34. making people feel seen is one of the greatest acts of service

when someone feels seen, they feel confident and comfortable in who they are. when they feel confident, they start to think they are worthy and valuable. when they feel worthy, they feel empowered to do great things.

### 35. being around people who are levelling up is like a performance enhancing drug. you can’t help but level up yourself when the people around you care about what they do, try hard, and want to improve.

there’s a contagiousness to flourishing. go somewhere where trying hard is cool.

### 36. they are likely disappointed in themselves, too. this reduces frustration and breeds empathy.

hard to put into practice but: assume everyone is earnestly trying, lead with patience + empathy instead of frustration + resentment.

it goes a long way for you and everyone around you

### 37. the world becomes a lot easier to love when you go through it with the belief that everyone is usually doing their best, and is probably frustrated with their own shortcomings even more than you might be frustrated with them.

when someone disappoints or angers you, remember:

### 38. the reason people find you interesting if you’re interested in them is because it demonstrates the ability to engage, observe, and inquire.

deep immersion in conversation is itself an interesting capability. it demonstrates presence and wonder—two rare qualities in adulthood.

### 39. boldness is such an underrated quality

when you simply say what’s on your mind and do what your gut tells you even when it doesn’t make much rational sense, people gravitate to that confidence—that boldness. people trust your conviction and want to “learn” how you exist that way

### 40. meeting someone who is extremely open and thinks deeply about truth feels like unlocking a door full of the universe’s secrets.

### 41. i’ve noticed this interesting correlation between people who really seem to have their lives together having great, unique taste

i think this is because if you don’t have an established sense of self, your taste ends up being a big amalgamation of what you think others will like

### 42. i’ve noticed the most effective people i know move with a certain *slowness* that is distinct from others.

their slowness is a result of presence, care and intention. they don’t rush decisions. they take their time. they don’t move in haste, they move at a pace that feels right.

### 43. their slowness is a reflection of their comfort with doing things the way *they think* they should be done.

when we are not rushing, we see things clearly. when we are rushing, we miss important details.

slowness is a manifestation of having our full attention present.

### 44. we’re trained to look down on slowness

but if the most thoughtful people use slowness to navigate life with care—perhaps we should question our tendency to live in haste which often causes us to miss things by being so focused on the next moment that we forget to be where we are

### 45. tldr: normalize slowness, because it often represents presence—a scarce resource in our always going culture that rewards hustle and punishes reflection

slowness is a way to adjust your grip on life, on the moment you’re in. pause. breathe. look around. proceed. there’s no rush!

### 46. the coolest people are just the people that are unapologetically themselves.

everyone tries to be cool by imitating the Actually Cool people: doing what they do, wearing what they wear, speaking how they speak. but something is only cool when it comes from person it is true to.

### 47. if you go to bed satisfied and relaxed, and wake up looking forward to what’s ahead, you are living extremely well.

many people who *appear* to be living extremely well yearn deeply for exactly this. it would be wise to stay awash in daily gratitude for your beautiful reality :)

### 48. understanding abundance mindset is somewhat counterintuitive, because abundance isn’t about indulgence, it’s about faith:

it isn’t ‘take as much as you can always’

it’s ‘take what you need and trust there will always be more. know what you want is coming, that there’s no rush.’

### 49. the most magnetic people have a balanced profile of masculine and feminine energy. soft, yet forward. sensitive, yet strong. empathetic, yet assertive. open, yet focused. playful, yet controlled.

we are drawn to the duality embodied by people at the intersection of these forces.

### 50. it’s amazing how if you hold space for someone when they’re having a moment of being reactive/projecting their emotional state onto you (instead of reacting to them emotionally in response) they almost naturally feel compelled to reflect and call themselves out in the moment.

### 51. imagine the elements of your ideal life in vivid detail: how you feel each day, what your space looks like, how you feel when you walk into it, how you feel when you wake up and go to sleep, how you feel in your body, the thoughts that fill your mind, how you perceive yourself.

### 52. to find out what you’re good at, try lots and notice what feels natural. to develop taste, collect then shed—keep only what you love. to understand yourself, observe your behavioural patterns in real time

we don’t think our way into knowing who we are, we find out through living

### 53. people feel naturally inclined to mirror your energy back to you.

if you exude love, appreciation, wonder, joy, positivity, respect, presence, peace, the people around you will want to sync up with you on those feelings, bathing both of you in even more goodness as a result.

### 54. life is practice. don't wait to put yourself out there until you're good enough. you're always good enough and never good enough. it doesn't matter. all that matters is doing the thing. your standards rise as you improve, so get used to not feeling good enough and doing it anyway

### 55. every time i open this book i need to stop my reading session almost immediately to go create something. it is unlike any other text i’ve encountered in terms of creative fuel and its articulation of the process that is transmuting ideas into art.

### 56. it’s honestly pretty amazing that we can just close our eyes and fill ourselves up with feelings we want to feel by imagining circumstances that would make us feel that same way. and that feeling can feel just as real as it would in reality.

this skill is highly under utilized

### 57. one of the best life hacks is that you can ask anyone basically anything and as long as it comes from a place of genuine and sincere curiosity, they will feel almost immediately compelled to answer.

which is to say: you can learn anything from anyone if you’re willing to ask.

### 58. one of the biggest fallacies about relationships is that there is a right person out there waiting for you to find them and when you do, you’ll suddenly be in a great relationship

but great relationships aren’t just out there waiting for you—they are co-created, they are *built*

### 59. if you both don’t align on what you want to build, you’ll see that gap as you deepen.

healthy relationships require communication, presence, and *work*. you are literally building a brand new thing. to make it exist, you need a shared vision and a mutual desire to do the work.

### 60. you literally appear different when you enjoy what you do. your skin is more vibrant, your eyes are more awake, your touch feels more attentive, your energy is more alive.

people can feel when you love your life—and conversely: people can feel when you are yearning for more.

### 61. sometimes you just need to fully embody the abundance in your life. focus on an area you’re doing well in—health, job, fitness, home, habits—and soak in the appreciation, excitement and pride you feel for that win. doing this invites those feelings to appear in more of your life.

### 62. nudge people towards their intuition.

when you see someone light up as they’re speaking, ask them questions. help them explore the edge of who they think they are. let them know that they are allowed to make a decision because it feels right—even if it only makes sense to them.

### 63. warm energy attracts. cold energy repels.

if you are present, open, warm, friendly, joyful and fully *alive* wherever you go, you will make friends and always find people who want to connect. if you appear judgemental or unwelcoming, people are much less likely to approach you.

### 64. practice awe daily. you are living in a world of other people’s ideas. the chair you’re sitting on. the phone you’re holding. the roads you’re driving in. the plane you’re in. the sandwich you’re eating.

someone, somewhere once thought these up and brought them into existence.

### 65. it’s such a good feeling to give someone a compliment and see them humbly receive it with appreciation. you can feel them accepting and integrating it. 

it’s such an odd feeling to give someone a compliment and see them relentlessly deflect it. you can feel their internal block.

### 66. the paradox of alignment: the more aligned you are with who you want to be, the more aligned the opportunities and experiences you attract, the more selective you need to be about what you say yes to

if you do it right, you need to go from seeking to being selective very quickly

### 67. love creates an energy field.

you can feel when someone is leading with love. not just romantic love, but a sincere appreciation for the moment, for people, for beauty, for being alive. to lead with love is to feel the abundance of existence and to exude that abundance outwards.

### 68. allow yourself to feel joy, pleasure, abundance, peace, gratitude, appreciation, love.

we often recoil when we feel a positive emotion swelling inside us. we are conditioned to keep ourselves at a certain emotional frequency and surpassing it feels unnatural, scary, unsettling—

### 69. it’s amazing what can happen when you notice what comes naturally to you and double down on that.

life isn’t meant to feel so upstream
all the time—full of stress, fear, scarcity and resistance—when something feels easy it is a hint to focus more on it, not the other way around.

### 70. honesty delivered gently is one of the greatest gifts

it means the person has gone out of their way to do something uncomfortable for your benefit (tell you the truth), but has also considered how you would want to receive it, and how they could help it land more softly with you

### 71. notice how the people who are the best at what they do have fun doing it. they laugh, they enjoy, they don’t get too frustrated when they mess up. they try again, learn quickly.

like children, they’re in the moment, enjoying the action—not fixated on the outcome of those actions

### 72. when you don’t identify with what you do, you can do anything—especially what feels true to you—without concern for how it will be received.

by separating who you are (identity) from what you do (output) you’re free to fail, change paths, have fun and not take life too seriously

### 73. there are people looking for you, who will find you once you start being who you are authentically.

we find what we look for—and when you put your signal out, you start to attract those who are looking for that signal, seeking what you share, craving what you can uniquely offer.

### 74. sometimes finding love isn’t about looking for it so actively—seeking, optimizing, formulating where to find it and who to get it from. sometimes it’s about noticing when you’ve found something good and allowing it to continue

sometimes it’s just about letting yourself be loved:

### 75. how you want to be treated should be reflected in how you treat yourself. people look to you for your standards. they mirror your self-image back to you. they notice self-confidence and self-respect. they often respond to it with a gentle reverence, a certain curiosity about you.

### 76. i’ve always loved the quote: “those who don’t read have no advantage over those who can’t read”

it’s a subtle reminder that your abilities exist for a reason. if you can read, read. if you can move, move. if you can write, write. you have these powers for a reason: to use them!

### 77. if you have a talent: something that has always come more easily to you than others, something that flows, feels easy—like a release. something that creates space, that feels magical to you

pour energy, love and time into it. that is your unique form of service—that is your art.

### 78. developing your taste is never wasted time.

if you try clothes on and don’t get them, if you read a book you didn’t like—you now have a better sense of what you don’t want. finding things you don’t resonate with is often more informative to your taste than finding the opposite.

### 79. nudge people towards their dreams.

if someone timidly reveals a big dream or ambition that they think others might scoff at, throw sunlight and water on it. encourage them to explore it. listen. ask them to say more. help them crystalize the idea. gently nudge them towards it.

### 80. the more you lean into your taste (what excites you, what inspires you, what resonates with you, what makes you want to create) the more aligned your life becomes. 

taste is a muscle. it gets stronger when you engage it. eventually it gets so strong it acts for you…

### 81. being highly conscious has its costs: you are viscerally aware of all the times you’re not doing what you know you should be doing. you can see the delta between how you’re acting and how you aspire to act. you can see all the ways you can get closer to being whole.

and despite…

### 82. i used to think the point of early mornings was to “get ahead” but as i’ve enjoyed more of them that have happened naturally—the ones you don’t force or plan for—i’ve realized the point is to be awake before the noise of the world can reach you, to exist without ego, to simply be

### 83. reading a random journal entry from months or years ago and seeing the exact internal dilemma you’re experiencing now articulated perfectly back then and realizing that all your problems keep meme-ing themselves in different ways until you solve them is a special kind of humbling

### 84. the ultimate relationship duality = depth + levity

the people you can be your silly child self with and share your grown up struggles with. those that hold you through grief and excitement all the same. the ones you can laugh and cry in front of comfortably. they are treasures.

### 85. you’re meant to be around people who make being yourself feel easy. people who let you exist and explore without worrying about how you’re being perceived. if being around someone feels hard/uneasy, it’s probably a sign you aren’t a good fit together.

flowing > forcing. always.

### 86. you might disappoint people (and that’s okay)

### 87. effort is attractive.

we are drawn to people who try so hard that they forget themselves—their sense of self becoming blurry in a haze of devotion to their craft, people who focus so deeply on what they do that they forget to focus on themselves: the ultimate act of humility.

### 88. i’ve always loved the quote “be less impressed and more involved” because it’s a simple, actionable way to say “be less in your head and more in the moment”

you think someone is interesting? they’re not above you, go talk to them
you have an idea? it’s not beyond you, try it out…

### 89. being your highest self is really just living with clarity: your ideas appear crisply and you execute on them without hesitation, without tuning into self-doubt or concerns about what others think. when you’re in your power, all you’re paying attention to is your own inner signal

### 90. create a routine you love. look forward to your rituals. find joy in what is simple. cultivate a healthy mind. enjoy the slow, burning satisfaction of deep work. reorient your reward systems towards what is hard but rewarding. be suspicious of what brings pleasure without effort.

### 91. exert your taste on the world to live in a reality you’ve consciously created

### 92. when you use your body more, it gets stronger and you feel safer trusting it to do hard things. the same goes for your mind—when you consciously move towards psychological discomfort, your mind gets stronger and you feel safer trusting it to go beyond what seems comfortable/easy.

### 93. the “safe path” is brutally risky:

by never betting on yourself, never being willing to lean in to your power, your ideas, your imagination, your unique power as a human being to CREATE what is inside you—you remain stuck inside a system that will keep you there by convincing…

### 94. i watched this film last year at the toronto film festival, then quit my job two days later. i was already in the headspace of knowing i might change paths “eventually” but the visceral expression of what it means to live without really living expressed in this movie hit me hard.

### 95. great life hack for maintaining connections of all degrees of closeness: simply tell people when you’re thinking of them

### 96. one reason to devote yourself to meaningful work is that your desire to numb yourself and escape your life rapidly declines and it becomes quite natural and easy to abandon any escape-y habits that you developed or flirted with when you were living in a way that wasn’t aligned.

### 97. i’m genuinely impressed with how little interpersonal conflict i’ve experienced in the last ~2 years. something clicked in my brain at some point where i realized how i was contributing to and architecting my own suffering in relationships and suddenly it became much easier to…

### 98. if you can get comfortable being embarrassed, you can do basically anything. fear of embarrassment kills more ideas than reality ever could

### 99. people who see who you *could* be if you got out of your own way, lived courageously, and applied yourself are treasures. being around them is a natural performance enhancing drug. simply seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who sees what you’re capable of is expansive.

### 100. enjoy the thrill of being a beginner. the stage where you look at what there is to learn and feel a thrill at how far you could go. being a beginner isn’t about impressing others or looking cool; it’s about feeling like a kid again—learning for the sake of it. no strings attached