Skip to content

Instantly share code, notes, and snippets.

@arinaldi
Last active March 23, 2017 22:55
Show Gist options
  • Save arinaldi/9842f610ecc8e9a3506072a69eb7ec03 to your computer and use it in GitHub Desktop.
Save arinaldi/9842f610ecc8e9a3506072a69eb7ec03 to your computer and use it in GitHub Desktop.
#post I'm a chicken lady

I'm a chicken lady

What's wrong, my Michelle? Oh, Silvee, I can't stop thinking about Tony, wondering where he could be, who he is with, what is he thinking, is he thinking of me, and whether he'll ever return someday. Oh, Michelle. Hmmm? You have to stop lying awake wondering about Tony, wondering where he is, who he could be with, what he's thinking, if he's thinking of you, and whether he'll ever return one day. Oh. What? Upstairs we are having a fabulous party, but we've run out of wine. So I am forced to borrow a bottle of yours. My God, it stinks in here! It stinks of stupid women wondering about Tony, wondering where he could be, who he is with, what he's thinking, whether he's thinking of you, and whether he'll ever return someday.

Head crusher

I'm crushing your head. I'm crushing your head. Crush. Crush.

Now, for those of you with a brave heart and for those of you who have stayed, look into my face and know, to look into my face is to look into the face... of EVIL!

You look alarmed! Is it because you find something alarming?

So when people say to me let sleeping dogs lie, I say to them, friend, sleeping dogs... they eventually wake up...and chew out the throat of democracy!

I'm Jerry Sizzler and this is my sister... Jerry Sizzler! We of course are two lounge singers... and not two clearly insane people!

I'm sorry. I'd love to be of assistance to you, but I'm afraid I speak no English. Allow me to reiterate, I speak no English. Perhaps this will wash the confusion from your face, my friend. My apparent fluency is the result of constant repetition. As you can imagine, I have been through this speech many times before, in fact, I could repeat it for you in any one of seven different languages. Yet oddly enough , I've never learned to speak it in my own, which is fine since over the years I have forgotten how to speak my own language.

  • How did we end up here, Mr. Navigator?
  • I don't know, sir.
  • You're not a very good navigator, are you?
  • No, I'm not, sir.
  • Then how did you get this job?
  • You liked my hair, sir.
  • Ah, yes.

When I was a kid I ordered some sea monkeys, to love me, but they never arrived! So? Therefore I had a bad childhood! Comprenez vous? Who didn't! That's how childhoods work.

Chicken lady

High school was hell for me. Oh, imagine that. If you want to stay in my good books, don't call me a bird brain. If you want to stay in my good books, which you do...

Just because your name is Mr District Attorney, does not mean this is the only position you can hold! My name isn't Mr District Attorney, people call me that because I'm the District Attorney! Then you should find it easier to put this career mistake behind you! Did it occur to you that the defendant might have been lying? Maybe I'm not as cynical as you are. Anyone here guilty? Fine, everyone is not guilty, everyone is free to go. Stop kicking the bench, you big baby!

@arinaldi
Copy link
Author

arinaldi commented Feb 3, 2017

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit. Explicabo accusantium ex hic ad, facilis quidem! Officiis officia, eos obcaecati ab, voluptate unde voluptas nostrum possimus facilis adipisci nobis voluptatibus odio ipsam fugit sunt reprehenderit, consequatur voluptatum. Illum laboriosam optio quisquam aperiam explicabo minima, veniam consequuntur aliquam est a? Dolore, quo facilis nemo, ipsum officiis quis dolores vel ad itaque eaque soluta harum accusantium, quod ullam ipsa totam ut nisi perspiciatis architecto cumque illo consectetur aliquid quia blanditiis autem.

Beatae quaerat soluta harum non numquam facere. Quos iure et est quo eveniet dolorem maxime tenetur! Consequuntur iure corrupti velit aspernatur ratione nesciunt. Quae repudiandae, assumenda asperiores non veniam in suscipit ducimus distinctio! Provident corporis, ab velit qui autem enim veritatis possimus, debitis optio officiis sapiente facere minus iusto, soluta labore magni, nemo veniam eum sunt in iure rerum perferendis unde maiores. Minus mollitia voluptatem quod, magnam. Ipsam repellat optio iure fugit omnis praesentium est blanditiis sapiente atque, ullam nam aliquam quod autem, porro distinctio repudiandae fuga tenetur voluptatem impedit, molestiae!

Repellat officia minus magni numquam fugiat laborum, iusto dolorum fugit possimus quae? Quaerat in sunt reiciendis. Repellendus sed quod id, a, neque iusto odio possimus quos, nam voluptatum, corporis voluptatem nesciunt!

Sign up for free to join this conversation on GitHub. Already have an account? Sign in to comment