Some computer "stats" script I found. It COULD be mine from high school...

gistfile1.txt

#!/usr/bin/perl -w

print compstats();
print "\n";

sub cpustats
{
	my (@cpuinfo, $processors, $output, @linesplit);
	$processors = 0;
	$output = "";
	open (FILE,"</proc/cpuinfo");
	@cpuinfo = <FILE>;
	close (FILE);
	chomp @cpuinfo;
	foreach $line (@cpuinfo)
	{
		$processors++ if ($line =~ /^processor/);
		@linesplit = split(/\:/,$line);
		if ($line =~ /^model\ name/) 
		{
			$output .= "\nA$linesplit[1] with";
		} elsif ($line =~ /^cpu\ MHz/)
		{
			$output .= "$linesplit[1] MHz";
		}
	}
	$output = "There are $processors Processors$output"
		if ($processors > 1);
	$output = "The processor is $output" if ($processors == 1);
	return $output;
}

sub ramstats
{
        my (@raminfo, $output, @linesplit, $mem, $memtype, $memsize, $memusage);
        open (FILE,"</proc/meminfo");
        @raminfo = <FILE>;
        close (FILE);
        chomp @raminfo;
        foreach $line (@raminfo)
        {
		$mem = "";
		@linesplit = split(/\ \ */,$line);
		if (($linesplit[0] eq "Mem:") || ($linesplit[0] eq "Swap:"))
		{
			$memtype = "ram";
			$memtype = "swap" if ($linesplit[0] eq "Swap:");
			$memsize = int($linesplit[1] / 1024 / 1024) . "mb";
			$memusage= int($linesplit[2] / $linesplit[1] * 100)."%";
			$mem = "There is a total of $memsize $memtype and of "
			."which $memusage is used";
		}
		if ($mem)
		{ if (!$output)
			{ $output = $mem; }
			else
			{ $output = "$output\n$mem"; }
		}
	}
	return $output;
}

sub compstats
{
	return cpustats() . "\n" . ramstats() . "\n" . ethstats() . "\n" 
	. osversion() . "\n" . loadavg();
}

sub fixspaces
{
	($_) = @_;
	s/\:/\ /g;
	s/\ \ \ */\ /g;
	s/^\ //;
	return $_;
}
sub ethstats
{
        my (@netinfo, $output, @linesplit, $txmbqty, $rxmbqty, $txqty, $rxqty);
	my ($ethname) = @_;
	$ethname = "eth0" if (!$ethname);
	my ($line, $avgrx, $avgtx);
        open (FILE,"</proc/net/dev");
        @netinfo = <FILE>;
        close (FILE);
        chomp @netinfo;
        foreach $line (@netinfo)
        {
                @linesplit = split(/\ /,fixspaces($line));
                if ($linesplit[0] eq $ethname)
                {
			$txqty = int($linesplit[2]);
			$rxqty = int($linesplit[10]);
                	$txmbqty = int($linesplit[1] / 1024 / 1024);
                        $rxmbqty = int($linesplit[9] / 1024 / 1024);
			$avgrx = int($linesplit[9] / $rxqty);
			$avgtx = int($linesplit[1] / $txqty);
                        $output = "$ethname has transmited $txmbqty mb in "
			."$txqty packets (average $avgtx b) and recieved "
                        ."$rxmbqty mb in $rxqty packets (average $avgrx b).";
                }
        }
        return $output;
}

sub osversion
{
	my (@osverbody, $output);
	open (FILE, "</proc/version");
	@osverbody = <FILE>;
	close(FILE);
	chomp @osverbody;
	@osverbody = split(/\ \(/,$osverbody[0]);
	return $osverbody[0];
}

sub loadavg
{
        my (@loadavgbd, $output);
        open (FILE, "</proc/loadavg");
        @loadavgbd = <FILE>;
        close(FILE);
        chomp @loadavgbd;
        @loadavgbd = split(/\ /,$loadavgbd[0]);
	$output = "Load over 1 min $loadavgbd[0], load over 5 min $loadavgbd[1]"
	 .", load over 15 min $loadavgbd[2].\nActive Processes $loadavgbd[3]"
	 .", next free process ID $loadavgbd[4].";
        return $output;
}