_deus_ex_machina_

_deus_ex_machina_Readme.md

deus_ex_machina

github - gist - codepen - flickr - tumblr - svbtl

a-speck-of-dust-in-the-sandstorm-of-information.md

it's such a pleasant and quiet evening. very hot after hot day but now I can feel chilling breeze cutting through the dense air.

the storm seems just moments away but it might as well not come at all.

... and here comes the rain.

back inside.

the cat sleeping on an empty bed.

tea. cigarette. silence.

I feel almost at peace

kind of happy

I will lay down in bed in a moment trying to fall asleep. but I won't. I'll be thinking about all the work I haven't done today.

and how lost i feel there even though i know every corner of the fabric on this side

i don't even enjoy the data flow the same as i used to do

it's all so mellow and almost tasteless

I don't know where you are and what bed you are sleeping in tonight. I'm slowly learning not to care anymore.

I can still remember the other night.

the sad song you sang,

your words telling me that you love me,

and the sex.

the wind made the pictures fall off the walls making me feel even more alone in the darkness

i remember touching the construct, the beauty of it's illusory body and the colours falling through my fingers on first touch.

all we are is just this, a speck of dust in the sandstorm of information ...

... attached to our physical bodies

i smile thinking about this craving i feel so intensely now i could almost cut through it with a knife

the closeness of another human body

is it still me?

always defiant, always on the other side, embracing the virtual representations of our physical worlds and now hungry for ... touch?

i will have to start looking for someone like you.

to replace you.

even though I don't want to.

almost-an-accidental-experience.md

JC twisted his arm and looked closer at the perforation. then he look up again, smiled and chewing his apple said grinning

it's illegal isn't it?

yes... how did you know?

I'm a pro my man. what's with the upgrades? how do you handle it?

well I have a plan in place...

how long till you'll be able to get off the drugs?

fifteen months

I looked at him

shit, that's a long time.

JC slapped my shoulder and showing me all his teeth said

yes my organic friend it is a very very long time.

the kid looked at me curiously

you are organic? wow I was always wondering how do you people do this? I mean how do you connect without a direct link?

I looked away

it's easy i light up some candles, smoke dope, play bongos and do some chanting until I get online...

JC chuckled

funny man isn't he? this organic friend of mine. but for real this is exactly how he does it.

seriously? is that what you do?

no not really... only when I feel particularly suicidal. so where are you planning to get the drugs from?

well this is why I came to you... I was given your hash from james ... the guy from the city airport projects...

JC was still examining the implant and looked up, bit off a huge chunk of his apple and munching it loudly smiled

that's good my man. you did well ... but you do know this expensive gear of yours is a very thirsty one, don't you?

yeah but I'm kind of prepared ... I mean for the costs and I hope to get back some of the investment as soon as I get to the surface

well don't count on it though. you don't want to end up as most expensive piece of used-up hardware on the other side of the river do you? trust me. I've seen people going that route and it is a risky business.

I know but I'm cool for half a year which I am happy to pay up front if you can get me what I need and secure it for me in a deposit downtown.

yes my man I can get you what you need and I will get the six months for you by the end of the week. we will talk money tomorrow. I'll call you before I set up the arrangement for your treatment.

I looked at the matt finish of the implant. I wonder where he got this kind of money?

black-ice.md

I've been starring into the space for a split of a second ... maybe ...

i really cannot tell

holding on to the emptiness in front of me

I even felt a touch of hope i thought she's going to be okay ... and then I realised she was gone.

forever.

i let her slip.

i couldn't hold on to her and she just ... let go

and i knew i have nothing left of her

not s single bit of live data will ever reach me again

nor i will ever be able to trace her.

this was the end

the archive and my memory is all that I have left and I knew all too well i will have to remove most of it for my own sake soon

I felt ...

I really can't describe it ....

no, i cannot. I really only remember my hand pointing into the darkness

trying to touch her but she wasn't there anymore

then I felt the gravity pulling me back towards the surface

my heart sank like a stone and that's probably when I was pulled towards the automated recovery unit.

i assume it must have arrived after being alerted by the surge in power usage caused by the contact with the defensive layer

no i certainly did not call for it nor asked for assistance

the next thing I was crouching with my hands on the floor and vomiting violently ...

the medical staff was already there although i don't remember seeing them

I don't remember the exact time but it should be within my log files.

yes I aproved access to all my files and my primary interface.

no I don't know who was on the rescue team or what model of the construct was used.

I remember blond female avatar but that must have been because I was still hooked to my gear and since it is via patch i was still fully on-line.

no I can't

yes i do. i still feel a bit shaken when i switch on the full sensory interface but i am fine to conduct the work without any further accidents.

cold-metal.md

the choices and absolute inescapability of one option taking over the other is as cold as any metallic part could ever be

sure some would call it psychosis but then again what else is there?

a lie, elusive middle, the in-between

in reality constant swaying from one side to the other.

psychotic is all there is

psychotic is all we are

some embrace it while others hide in the shadows

and I chose not to hide

I chose in

I chose on

I chose fire

I chose action and direct execution

no surprises

unless the script she planted inside me that warm night on the roof has some functions she did not mention

I need to see the man

engaged.md

hello

I'm sorry for breaching the usual protocol but I don't want to be making a public query.

I can commit some of the resources I have left for this cycle and could arrange further commits if needed. however I would like to do so via constructs with no direct association.

I've been recently hospitalised after crashing into the protective layer of the databank. there were some questions as to the software used and legality of my equipment. I kept my licence so you don't need to worry but I would need some info without alerting the moderators.

engaged on

sure

engaged off

the point is that I don't know much about implants on such level and have no experience with the hardware used in similar situations. however during the investigation few things started to bother me.

engaged on

go on

thanks, at first I clearly remember taking instructions from an avatar which I thought was the medical one. I mentioned this during the investigation. however I was presented with real time avatars of the members of the medical team and the panel seemed to understand that I must have seen the nurse that was the first to approach me after the crash. but it was most definitely not the one I remember. I remember parts of the room I was in and throwing up on the floor. I didn't have the opportunity to clarify this and the investigation was over before i could even object to anything and since i got the pass i decided not to press the matter further. I ...

where was it? where were you picked up by medics?

eh, eastern ...

there are no medical constructs in use on the eastern sea board. if that was a construct then something else was giving you the instructions. have you got them? can you read them?

no I don't ... some parts of my logs are completely blank ... even though I retained the vivid memory of certain sensory experiences...

so what did you crash into?

well I'm not sure. I'm not an expert but I could give you the address.

transmission initialised

request accepted

transmission in progress

transmission complete

what model of the interface were you using at the time? is it still operational?

yes, it is. it is fully functional it isn't...

neural. I get it. okay that changes a lot and you might have been contacted by the construct from behind the firewall as well as by those outside. so why was your license revoked?

I lost a live construct there.

pardon?

I lost it. I couldn't hold on to it and she let go.

eh, ... okay... that I suppose would explain the need for review but how did they handle it? there isn't a procedure that I know of for such situations.

well I thought something was amiss and the review didn't seem to give explanations as to some aspects of my logged experiences. that's why i started to look for answers myself.

okay. I'll check out the address and in the meantime you stay away from there. I would even suggest staying away from the net that you normally would access via your patch. I'll contact you within 24 hours from now. keep your commits. we'll talk later.

engaged off

find-me-in-my-studio.md

have you got any log files?

no. we don't tend to keep archives. it's not like you can keep an archive.

yeah i see the point like a conversation, right?

or sex.

well yeah didn't think of that. so I'd better go. I'll see you around. maybe we should have sex sometime.

sure.

guardian-angel-will-see-to-your-death.md

I looked around the foyer while JC was exchanging the details still munching his apple

he mumbled something to the guy and then turned towards the door.

I raised my hand to the kid and followed JC towards the doorway.

out on the street.

in to the car.

while inside he started to look through his log marking up bits of conversation and sending it to his contact in...

where are you going to get his stuff from?

I already did.

okay

Morocco. I have a contact there. cutting edge stuff.

I wouldn't expect less ... don't you fell like you want to save him?

I am saving him.

true.

I'm his best chance at getting out of this alive.

yeah I know

but you see ... I've seen many young hackers like him ... and sometimes ... I wonder if I shouldn't just sell him of to a body clinic straight away. I wouldn't get as much money ... but it would save him a lot of pain

you think so?

I know so. look this kid, in three months he'll realise he can't afford another six months of treatment. he will stop answering my calls. he will start by trying to control the dosage. this will lead to all sorts of complications. first, insomnia and paranoia. then hallucinations, headaches and nosebleeds. with his hardware I give him two weeks after he runs dry. these two weeks will be a hell on earth for him with hallucinations and constant pain. if by that time his not flagged up by someone he will be dead within few days collapsing wherever his last hallucination lead him.

you have a difficult job.

it's not my job. I just paid for seven months of hell for this poor bastard and I hope to get back my money for at least six of these months. if he gets lucky then we all win. if he doesn't then he has one month on me.

you are a good man

of course I am. init?

<iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/92775216?color=ffffff&title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe>

hello-again.md

so I met this girl.

she asks

"would you like some coffee?"

I say

"yes please."

so she makes me herbal tea with honey.

then she says

"my week was shit.

life sucks.

that's probably because of my period."

I laugh and say

"you inspire me."

See the Pen hello by @rafszul (@rafszul) on CodePen.

<script async src="//assets.codepen.io/assets/embed/ei.js"></script>

hello-hello.md

so i met this girl

she inspires me

hello.md

so i met this girl

and she says

"...yeah, i'm good.

life is good.

why wouldn't it be?"

and she laughs.

she's right.

out-of-the-siberian-sky.md

i touched the computer laying on the bedside table

I could almost feel it's gentle throbbing

I imagined it's the script working tirelessly corrupting all files

I knew she was very much alive

and I knew all the possible paths she could take

first the log files

network settings

neural enviros

system set-up files

and then she will hit the core

making herself immune to all I could possibly find to prevent the corruption

I was wondering if it's all over

if I could salvage and rescue anything from that I had left

I knew the answer all too well

I'm a fool

falling

burned

out of the siberian sky

photographer.md

so i met this girl

she inspires me

the-burning.md

the implant had dark-grey finish and it was difficult to see the point where polymer gently morphed into his dark tattooed skin

he seemed proud of the job they did at the clinic and I wasn't surprised he was. it seemed like a good job indeed.

I touched the patch on my arm and wondered how does a direct link feel like

there are moments when I imagine I can almost feel it

I know it's not real and having no artificial parts inside my body I couldn't even read the logs he's neural enviro files in real time

but I knew all too well the coldness of some nonorganic matter that is very real when engaging full sensory interface

the organics call it "the choice" or "spirits" or "purgatory" and a doorway to embrace singularity...

it is a controversial topic but ...

fuck, I've seen what happened to wingnuts! you don't get your brain blown out through your eye sockets just by thinking about controversial ideas ...

Athenians needed poison to have Socrates kick the bucket and wingnuts died on my very own eyes just by hitting ... nothing

or its virtual representation

that's what I've been told and was expected to believe in

bullshit

I've seen what happened there

even though I fell and got disconnected I remember very well the wave...

and the pull...

and the hold...

and then the burning!

fuck!

the burning!

I wanted to crack my skull open just so I can scrap my own brain out from the inside.

god knows what i would do if the photographer wasn't there to stop me from hitting against the wall

talk about religious experiences

I wonder what Moses would say having his own brain fried and being spoken at by a virtual representation of a tsunami instead of seeing a dry bush catching fire in the middle of the dessert?