gistfile1.txt

<?php 

$hellos = ['hi', 'hey'];

$separators = [
    ' ',
    ', ',
    ' - ',
    '... ',
    '.. ',
];

$questions = [
    'will you be at',
    'will you be coming to',
    'will you make',
    'can you make',
    'can you come to',
    'can you make it to',
    'do you fancy coming to',
    'do you think you\'ll be at',
    'reckon you\'ll be down for',
    'reckon you\'ll be at',
];

$eventNames = [
    'PHP Hampshire',
    'PHP Hants',
];

$dates = [
    'on Weds?',
    'on Weds? :)',
//    'tomorrow?',
//    'tomorrow? :)',
];

$link = 'phphants.co.uk/meetups';

$receipientsRaw = "
@asgrim	James
@phphants	PHPHants
";

$receipients = explode("\n", $receipientsRaw);

foreach ($receipients as $receipient) {
    if (empty($receipient)) continue;

    list($twitter, $name) = explode("\t", $receipient);

    $tweet = $twitter . ' ';
    $tweet .= $hellos[mt_rand(0, count($hellos)-1)] . ' ';
    $tweet .= $name;
    $tweet .= $separators[mt_rand(0, count($separators)-1)];
    $tweet .= $questions[mt_rand(0, count($questions)-1)] . ' ';
    $tweet .= $eventNames[mt_rand(0, count($eventNames)-1)] . ' ';
    $tweet .= $dates[mt_rand(0, count($dates)-1)] . ' ';
    $tweet .= $link;

    if (strlen($tweet) > 140) {
        die("ERROR: Tweet to $twitter was > 140 characters.\n");
    }

    echo $tweet . "\n";
}