A hipster NodeJS developer and coffee snob barista with an ironic mustache and tight pants was being interviewed by Google.
"Before this interview begins, I just want to say that event-based concurrency and non-blocking IO is the only way to achieve web scale, even faster than anything written in assembly by the gay ghost of Alan Turing!"
At this moment, a brave C++ developer who had a CS degree from Stanford and understood the necessity of Big O notation and fully supported all strict type systems and had been writing Java before 1995 stood up and held up a floppy disk.
"Can you prove that P = NP for all programs stored on this diskette?"
The arrogant hipster smirked and smugly replied "Sure I can, I'll just deploy a machine learning algorithm to Heroku!"
"Wrong. There is no known way of solving it in polynomial time! If there was, and the theory of dynamic type systems, as you say, are true, then this diskette would not be type safe!"
The hipster was visibly shaken, and dropped his iPhone and iPad before he could finish reading Hacker News. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic Hipster tears.
The interviewer's manager applauded and everyone registered for the next C++ conference that day. An eagle named "Merge Sort" flew into the room and perched atop the whiteboard and shed a tear on the terrible code written by the hipster. Multiple C compilers were written, and Linus Torvalds himself showed up and taught everyone how Git branching works.
The hipster lost his espresso art skills and was fired the next day. He died of ennui and someone put breaks and more gears onto his bicycle.