astei/creation.md

## creation.md

      
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              creation.md
            
          
    Fundamentalist Christians

The world was created by God 6,000 to 10,000 years ago over a period of a week. And in His hands, it was perfect.
Last Thursdayism

The world was created last Thursday. It just looks like it’s billions of years old.
Geologist

The world was created approximately 4.3 billion years ago. That’s the age of the oldest rocks we’ve found.
Astronomist

The world was created about 13.8 billion years ago, a very short time after the big bang.
Cynic

I could care less for this question.
Emo

The world was created when I was born. And I’ve never had as much as of a desire to get myself out of it than I do now.
Computer scientist

The world was created on January 1st, 1970, at midnight UTC.
Minecraft player (young)

I created my world 6 weeks ago! Want to see my creeper statue?!?
Minecraft player (old)

I created my world 2 years ago. Trust me, it’s boring.
Intensely patriotic American

The world was created on July 4th, 1776! Fuck yeah America! Drives off in a gas-guzzling lifted pickup truck
Hare Krishna

The world was created 1-2 billion years ago, and man has not evolved since.
Historian

As far as we’re concerned, the world was probably created 5,300 years ago. That’s how far back the records go.
Anthropologist

The world as we know it today was first created 3.3 million years ago. That’s when we found the first stone tools used by man.

  
## end.md

      
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              end.md
            
          
    Fundamentalist Christians

The Rapture will happen soon. Only believers in Christ will be saved.
Geologist

Not for a while...
Astronomist

Give it a few billion years. The universe might go into constant entropy, or it’ll collapse upon itself and usher in a new universe. Who knows? Well, we’ll probably be dead by then...
Cynic

That’s too cynical of a question to ask, even for me.
Emo

I wish it were soon.
Computer scientist

If you’re on 32-bit UNIX, the world will end on 03:14:07 UTC on 19 January 2038. Better upgrade your smart toaster while you still can.
Intensely patriotic American

America will never end!
Historian

We can’t tell. But the trends are going the wrong way.
Anthropologist

We can’t tell, either. But the trends are going the wrong way.
Climatologist

If we don’t reduce emissions of greenhouse gases, the whole planet might be rendered uninhabitable in a hundred or so years. You can thank ExxonMobil.