Placeholder tests for npm package when you haven't written any yet and are not planning to do that for a longer time. Let's play 'Tests Against Humanity'

tests-against-humanity.js

/** Tests against humanity v1
 * 1. add this file to something like `{project}/tests/test.js`
 * 2. add command `node tests/test.js` to package.json.scripts under the key "test"
 * 3. run `npm test`
 */

const { log } = console;

const lameExcuses = [
  "I guess it's allright-ish. Just do not take my word for it.",
  "Test aborted due to quantum interpolations in the 4th dimensional sphere",
  "No, I do not want to.",
  "Hello, this is my voicemail, please leave a message after the beep-boop.",
  "I suddenly forgot how to do that.",
  "Can't you ask Karen? I'm kinda busy right now",
  "Maximum value reached for motivation. Politely try again later.",
  "Go f**k yourself."
];

const nonErrors = [
  "Uncaught MotivationError",
  "Raised MehError",
  "Expected PersonalSpaceError",
]

const stagedScenarios = [
  (result, err) => {
    log('\n[telemetry establised]\n');
    setTimeout(() => {
      setTimeout(() => log('\n...'), 500);
      setTimeout(() => log('\nbeep'), 3000);
      setTimeout(() => log('\n{computer noises}'), 5000);
      setTimeout(() => log('\n{screams in binary}'), 7000);
      setTimeout(() => log('\nboop'), 9000);
      setTimeout(() => {
        log(`\n${err}: ${result}`);
        log('\n[telemetry lost]\n');
      }, 10000);
    }, 1000);
  },
  (result, err) => {
    log('\nWell...\n');
    setTimeout(() => log('\n...\n'), 1000);
    setTimeout(() => log(result), 1000);
  },
  (result, err) => {
    log('\n...\n');
    setTimeout(() => log(`${err}: ${result}`), 1500);
  }
];

const outcome = lameExcuses[Math.floor(Math.random() * lameExcuses.length)];
const stagedScenario = stagedScenarios[Math.floor(Math.random() * stagedScenarios.length)]
const nonError = nonErrors[Math.floor(Math.random() * nonErrors.length)];

stagedScenario(outcome, nonError);