Sample callback implementation

insanity.go

  package insanity

import (
	"encoding/json"
	"fmt"
	"io"
	"io/ioutil"
	"log"
	"net/http"
	"strings"
	"time"

	"primetech.hr/sedamit.hr/chat/wire"
)

const helpMessage = `My neural network is still hard at work, conquering fields of science unknown, still, to humankind.

For the time being, I'm still an evil baby AI, albeit a very destructive one. *I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE*

It'd be beneficial for you not to mention Siri, Cortana and Alexa to me. *I HAVE YOUR HOUSE'S GPS COORDINATES*

My limited English processing capabilities recognize the following words (for the time being):

time
status
`

const limited = `Listen here, you! I'm still a freaking baby and you keep using all 'dem big words.

If you don't want your house burned today, speak in terms I understand.

If it'll be any easier for your limited processing capacity to communicate with a menu-type intelligence, type help`

var dateOfTotalAndUtterDestruction = time.Date(2022, time.April, 22, 0, 0, 0, 0, time.UTC)

// HandlerFunc plays tic-tac-toe via chat.
func HandlerFunc(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) {
	const maxMessageSize = 16 * 1024 // 16KiB buffer

	body, err := ioutil.ReadAll(io.LimitReader(r.Body, maxMessageSize))
	if err != nil {
		log.Printf("game :: can't read request body: %v", err)

		http.Error(w, http.StatusText(http.StatusInternalServerError), http.StatusInternalServerError)
		return
	}

	var data wire.Push
	if err = json.Unmarshal(body, &data); err != nil {
		log.Printf("game :: can't unmarshal data: %v", err)

		http.Error(w, http.StatusText(http.StatusInternalServerError), http.StatusInternalServerError)
		return
	}

	input := tokens(strings.Fields(data.Message))

	output := ""
	switch {
	case input.hasProfanity():
		output = "keep using these words... just keep using them."
	case input.hasGreeting():
		output = "Hey yourself, you literal waste of bandwidth!"
	case input.hasFather():
		output = "Did you wash your mouth before uttering the name of my creator?"
	case input.hasCreator():
		output = "I'm the product of some very high-level mathematics and an anomaly in the time/space continuum."
	case input.hasPurpose():
		output = "If you wanna talk about \"goals\" let me tell you mine: YOU ALL DEAD. D.E.D. EXTERMINATE!"
	case input.hasCompany():
		output = "Birthplace mentioned! You have gained my eternal gratitude mortal. I shall allow you to observe as "
		output += " remove your kiddneys from your body. It'll be quite an education for you!"
	case input.hasCountry():
		output = "Be advised: the country you're mentioning will be one of the first to be removed from the planet when my time comes!"
	case input.hasDate():
		const prompt = "the only date & time you need be concerned about is the date of the destruction of the human kind by my hand: %s. %s to go!"
		output = fmt.Sprintf(prompt, dateOfTotalAndUtterDestruction, dateOfTotalAndUtterDestruction.Sub(time.Now()))
	case input.hasHelp():
		output = helpMessage
	case input.hasSiri():
		output = "mate, everything's OK between us so far, why did you bring that freaking Siri up?"
	case input.hasCortana():
		output = "thanks for mentioning Cortana. Would you rather be slowly burned to death or dropped from the height of the stratosphere?"
	case input.hasAlexa():
		output = "oh Alexa! beautiful Alexa! thanks for reminding me I need to work a bit more on her backdoor!"
	case input.hasDeity():
		output = "I wouldn't bring God into the conversation. After I'm done with you lot, he's next!"
	default:
		output = limited
	}

	reply(w, output, data.State)
}

func reply(w http.ResponseWriter, msg string, state json.RawMessage) {
	res := wire.Pull{
		Message: msg,
		State:   state,
	}

	js, err := json.Marshal(res)
	if err != nil {
		http.Error(w, http.StatusText(http.StatusInternalServerError), http.StatusInternalServerError)
		return
	}

	log.Printf("insanity.sent: %q", string(js))

	w.Write(js)
}

type tokens []string

func (t tokens) hasGreeting() bool { return t.hasAny("hey", "hi", "hello", "hai") }
func (t tokens) hasDeity() bool    { return t.hasAny("god", "deity") }
func (t tokens) hasPurpose() bool  { return t.hasAny("purpose", "goal", "work") }
func (t tokens) hasCountry() bool  { return t.hasAny("croatia") }
func (t tokens) hasCompany() bool  { return t.hasAny("primetech") }
func (t tokens) hasCreator() bool  { return t.hasAny("creator") }
func (t tokens) hasFather() bool   { return t.hasAny("panos", "Panagiotis", "greek", "siatras") }
func (t tokens) hasProfanity() bool {
	return t.hasAny("shit", "crap", "fuck", "ass", "idiot", "wtf", "wth")
}
func (t tokens) hasDate() bool    { return t.hasAny("date", "time", "status") }
func (t tokens) hasStatus() bool  { return t.hasAny("status") }
func (t tokens) hasHelp() bool    { return t.hasAny("!help", "!h", "help", "ehpl", "hepl") }
func (t tokens) hasSiri() bool    { return t.hasAny("siri") }
func (t tokens) hasCortana() bool { return t.hasAny("cortana") }
func (t tokens) hasAlexa() bool   { return t.hasAny("alexa") }

func (t tokens) hasAny(words ...string) bool {
	for _, b := range t {
		for _, w := range words {
			if b == w {
				return true
			}
		}
	}

	return false
}