slimgravy

      KEY
      ‘fave’ = favorite
      ‘lipo’ = liposuction

CHORUS:
Hi! My fave is.. (what?) My fave is.. (who?)
My fave is.. Slim Gravy
Hi! My fave is.. (huh?) My fave is.. (what?)
My fave is.. Slim Gravy
=======================================
Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class 
for one second?

      [Violent J]
Hi kids!  Do you like diets?
Wanna see me get so pale and skinny that it looks like I have a virus?
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?
Drink ‘Slim Fast’ and get fatter than a herd of elephants in a riot?
My stomach’s dead weight, But I’m just trying to help you appreciate
What it feels like to be an ex-bulimic whose stressed out and overweight
Then Dr Ray said, “Violent Jay you need to taste this!”
“They’re chocolate fudge brownies, man, my grandma made ‘em”
Well, since eighth grade, They made fun of the things I would say
‘Cuz my triple chin would giggle and my fat rolls moved like Justin Timberlake
Got ticked off and ripped my new pants off
‘Cuz when I bent over, they ripped in three places and dropped (Oops!)
I’m about to have potatoes and gravy, and get all crazy
Faster than a disgruntled postal worker with an M-80
Come here gravy! (Violent, wait a minute, I’m not done dog!)
I don’t really care...Hey!  I can’t get the lid off!

      Chorus

      [Violent J]
My cafeteria lady wanted to kill me in junior high
She stuck nails in my Jello, and poison in my pie
I wrote her a letter with pen and paper, told her that I hate her
and if she tried anything again, I’d take her daughter and date her
Walked in the athletic club, found out my zipper wasn’t up
All my buttons were undone and my pants came off when I did a pull-up
Only mechanical, I’m too poor for automatic
So when I open a can of beans I sweat more than a mechanic
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out Oprah’s had more “lipo” than I do
I told my dad I wouldn’t grow up and be fatter
I’d work out everyday and exercise, he said that it wouldn’t matter
He said that I’d still watch Springer, eat chips, and be lazy
I’d still eat chocolate, never diet, and eat Slim Gravy
Some lady at the grocery store asked if I wanted a food sample
So I hit her in the head with a chicken leg, and hung her apron on my mantle

      Chorus

      
      [Violent J]
      
Forget this tape!  This kid’s fatter than Ricki Lake
Get me the phone children!  We’re ordering an exercise tape!
But I’m not ready to workout, it’s too scary to diet
I’ll need fifty people to carry my casket when I become permanently quiet
Am I gonna lose weight or not?  I can barely decide?
I just drank a fifth of pan grease -- dare me to drive?
All my life they said I should go and hide
But what am I supposed to hide behind?  I can’t even fit in my ride!
My nose is bigger than my friend Pinocchio
My legs move like tidal waves when I’m walking in the ghetto
When I was little...what am I saying?  I was never small!
My first steps caused an earthquake and killed more people than a Chucky doll
I stay awake and watch late night H.B.O.
Day-dream about all the slim gravy I could have after my first rap show
I’m kinda starting to feel bad (Awwwww!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Ask him if he bought some slim gravy on his way back.

      Chorus