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June 19, 2015 22:47
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The day was April 27, 1999, and I'm pretty sure that sun4c was EOL'd by the time that eli finally booted...
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BOOT SHOCKER! JAZZMAN KO'S ELI IN MULTIUSER UPSET! | |
In a sold-out Lab 3219, league veteran and 20 MHz war-horse, jazzman, defeated | |
the 40 MHz favorite, eli, in a PROM-to-multiuser sprint. jazzman's time of | |
four minutes, thirty-eight seconds soundly defeated eli's lethargic five | |
minutes, fifteen seconds. | |
While the match was at times close, jazzman only stumbled early. "jazzman | |
was slow bringing up interfaces; I should have caught him then, but I | |
couldn't seem to fire on all cylinders," reflected an exhausted eli. | |
Assessing the sluggish performance, eli noted, "having my cache disabled | |
early in boot definitely hurt me out there today", adding "by the time I | |
regrouped and got the cache turned back on, this contest was over." | |
"If nothing else, today shows that cache still matters in this league," said | |
a clearly elated jazzman, adding "eli showed a lot of character today; he | |
booted with tremendous heart." | |
jazzman, fresh off victories over perennial heavyweights wopr-2, ugly, | |
jurassic, and now eli, faces a tough schedule in coming weeks. After | |
a conference showdown with voodoo-chile, jazzman will face acid in an | |
exhibition match before squaring off against league powerhouse, chugwater. | |
Despite the upset over eli, chugwater remained indifferent. When asked | |
about the upcoming bout with jazzman, chugwater replied, "hasn't he been | |
EOL'd?" | |
jazzman dismissed rumors that he had been EOL'd as "obviously false", adding | |
"you don't EOL a platform booting at the top of its game." |
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