Some of this is now irrelevant in our Java 14+ world

SadCompiler.java

package gov.uspto.iqs;

import java.time.DayOfWeek;
import java.util.Arrays;

public class SadCompiler {

    int sadInstanceOf(Object o) {
        if (o instanceof List) {
            return ((List) o).size();
        }
        return -1;
    }

    String sadEnumSwitch(DayOfWeek dayOfWeek) {
        switch (dayOfWeek) {
            case MONDAY:
                return "you can fall apart";
            case TUESDAY:
            case WEDNESDAY:
                return "break my heart";
            case THURSDAY:
                return "doesn't even start. It's";
            case FRIDAY:
                return "I'm in love";
            case SATURDAY:
                return "wait";
            case SUNDAY:
                return "always comes too late";
            default:
                return null;
        }
    }

    String sadIfElse(boolean condition) {
        if (condition) {
            return "OK";
        } else if (!condition) {
            return "Also OK";
        } else {
            return "Hmm...";
        }
    }

    boolean sadTernaryAutoboxing(Object o) {
        return o == null ? null : true;
    }

    public static void main(String[] args) {
        SadCompiler sad = new SadCompiler();
    }
}