A conversation with Harris, who was whining on the ground
Me: What would you do if a bear knocked on the door and said, "Feed me, or I'll eat you!"
Harris: Umm... [looks around kitchen] I would give him the bananas!
Me: "I'm a bear! I don eat bananas!"
Harris: I would feed him... beef stew!
Me: "That stew was good but I'm still hungry! Feed me or I'll eat you!"
Harris: I'll feed him a monkey!
Me: A monkey?
Harris: No...! I'll feed him TEN TIGERS!!
Me: Okay, the tigers scare the best away...
Harris: [fist pump] Yes!
Me: ...but now you have 10 tigers in the kitchen! And they look at you and say, "Feed us or we'll eat you!"
Harris: I feed them a person.
Me: Which person?
Harris: Um, I feed them the bananas!
Me: Okay, one tiger eats all the bananas and goes away. Now you have 9 hungry tigers.
Harris: I feed them the avocados!
Me: Okay, one tiger eats the avocados and goes away. Now there are 8 hungry tigers, and they're getting closer to you!
Harris: I feed them... I feed them ONE HUNDRED MONKEYS!!!
Me: One hundred monkeys?
Harris: Yes!
Me: Hmm, okay. How many monkeys do you think each tiger can eat?
Harris: Maybe 5?
Me: Okay. The 8 tigers eat 40 monkeys. Now you have 60 monkeys looking at you. They seem angry.
Harris: Why?
Me: They just watched you tell a bunch of hungry tigers to eat them all! Now they're unhappy.
Harris: I feed them... THE BANANAS!!
Me: Oh, but the first tiger ate all the bananas.
Harris: Oatmeal?
Me: Sure, why not. How many monkeys do you think you can feed with oatmeal? There are 60 left.
Harris: Um, 5!
Me: Okay, they eat the oatmeal and leave. Now you have 55 monkeys left, and they're unhappy. And they're hungry! They're scared the tigers will come back and they're confused you gave the bananas to the tiger.
Harris: I... run out to the store and buy MORE BANANAS!!!
Me: Where do you get the money to buy bananas?
Harris: I get it from you.
Me: Okay, so I'm coming home from work and, what. You're standing out in the hallway, and you're holding the door closed so the monkeys can't come out and get you, and then I walk in. And you say...
Harris: "Dada, I need ten dollars."
Me: So I give you ten dollars and you run off and buy ten dollars worth of bananas. Is that enough for all those monkeys?
Harris: Yes.
Me: Sure, you're right. So the monkeys all eat the bananas...
Harris: ...and they sleep with me in my bed!
Me: And they what?
Harris: One sleeps on the bed with me, and ten sleep under it. And eleven sleep under your bed, and the rest sleep in my bed.
Me: Okay, so now we know what to do if a bear comes. Hey, where did all these animals come from?
Harris: They came from the zoo, but then they went away back to the zoo, and the monkeys can go back to the zoo too.
Later I wanted to show Venece how much fun Harris and I had.
Me: Hey, Harris, what if a bear knocks on the door and says, "Feed me or I'll eat you!"
Harris: I would give him beef stew.
Me: ...
Harris: I would give him enough beef stew. And then when the tigers come, I would have more and more beef stew and feed them too. I wouldn't feed them the monkeys or the bananas. I'll save the bananas for the monkeys.
Venece: ?
Me: Okay, sounds like you've got this one figured out son.