Skip to content

Instantly share code, notes, and snippets.

@benhamill
Last active May 22, 2020 20:45
Show Gist options
  • Star 0 You must be signed in to star a gist
  • Fork 0 You must be signed in to fork a gist
  • Save benhamill/1395ad789e521507e483dec63abf7ba7 to your computer and use it in GitHub Desktop.
Save benhamill/1395ad789e521507e483dec63abf7ba7 to your computer and use it in GitHub Desktop.
My take on Kobolds: Nature's dog/bird/lizard friends.

Kobolds

Foreword

I have never, I'm pretty sure, read any official write-up of what a kobold is. Everything I know about kobolds is apocryphal and from various conflicting sources. That is, as far as I'm concerned, as it should be. I don't put much stock in official sources, anyway, because they mostly talk about how kobolds are inherently evil, which is garbage.

Also, much of this originated in a migraine-fueled bout of insomnia after reading someone's long thread about their new kobold roleplaying character idea online. I don't know if you'll be able to tell or not.

So here is a bunch of ideas I have about kobolds. Some of this will be familiar and some of it may be wildly new and I probably won't know which is which for any given reader. I hope you like it.

Physical Appearance

Anatomy

Kobolds are a small species of people who are lizard- and bird-like. They are typically about 3 feet tall, with a variance of ±6 inches being common (though there is a rare genetic abnormality that causes some to grow to heights more in the 5 to 6 foot range).

They have faces with pronounced snouts like many lizards. Their nostrils and eyes are large for their head size compared to other sentients. Eye color commonly can range from dark brown to golden, blue, green and yellow. They have no visible ears (also like lizards), though they can hear fine.

Their teeth are mostly sharp, having evolved from carnivorous species, but they have developed flat rear teeth for chewing plant matter. They have a wide, muscly tongue with a fork near the end that is typically black.

They have two arms, two legs and a long, thick tail. They are typically slender and, while warm-blooded, have very low body fat percentage with their tail accounting for 30-45% of their body mass.

They have hands with four fingers and an opposable thumb. They are digitigrades, walking on the digits of their legs with long carpals and tarsals keeping their ankles far from the ground like canines. Also like canines, they typically only have four toes on their legs and pads where they touch the ground. Both fingers and toes are clawed, though most individuals keep their finger claws trimmed neatly for aesthetic and utilitarian reasons.

Kobolds' reproductive organs are between their legs, below their bellies and in front of the anus (which is near underside of the base of their tails). Most of the time, all individuals' reproductive organs will look like a long slit in the skin. During arousal, this slit expands and opens revealing, typically, either labia (note this is not a cloaca, but is much closer to common analogous mammalian organs) or a penis (though of course genetic variation accounts for less common arrangements). See below for more about kobold sex and reproduction.

Their skin is covered in scales. Most commonly, these are smooth and shiny like a gila monster, though rougher on some individuals, especially as they age. There is a high variability in appearance beyond this. As with all other sentients, physical traits are selected for due to societal concerns and vary across the total population of the species. Only the most common will be discussed here.

Most kobolds have smooth scales over their entire bodies. Coloration can vary widely and is one of the major identifying marks (like skin and hair color among mammalian Big People). It is also clearly inherited from parents. For example, some individuals may be entirely a dusty brown perhaps with a lighter brown "under" side (chin, front of the neck, chest, belly, groin and underside of the tail) while others might have a busy pattern of one dark and one bright color and others might be mostly a bright blue or green with red stripes along their back. These are only a few examples to illustrate the breadth of variety.

Less common, but still not shocking to find in a kobold population of any size at all are individuals with long feathers (generally in the 4-7 inch range). These will often—but not always—be of similar colors to their scales and most often form fans or crests at the back and/or top of the head or at the tip of the tail. Some fewer feathered individuals may have feathers about the shoulders, waist, elbow or knee (but only very rarely at the wrist or ankle, which, remember, is digitigrade and so not near the ground during locomotion).

More rare are individuals with horny protrusions on the head and face or along the spine and into the tale. These are generally less than a half inch long and while they may look fearsome, they are not very sharp but might be useful for a good scratch.

Roughly every 15 months, kobolds will molt. The process takes between 10 and 30 days. Like lizards, molting happens in stages, which the outer layer of skin coming off in patches. Kobolds get very itchy during this period and will scratch at the dry, old skin. If an individual's claws are not properly maintained (common among children who are unskilled at trimming their hand claws and whose claws tend to be sharper), it is possible they will hurt themselves scratching due to the intense itching. It is common for an individual to use tools and creams to ease the process and to engage the help of partners in scratching where it is hard to reach.

Dress

As with most sentients, kobolds like shiny objects and often adorn their bodies with jewelry and piercings of metal and gems. It is also common to wear head, neck, arm or leg bands of leather with beads and/or feathers.

Kobold clothing is often light and minimalist. While fashion obviously varies over time and geography, a staple of many wardrobes are short skirts, front-only loin clothes and open-front vests. Many kobolds go shirtless. If climate or tasks dictate, however, kobolds will wear protective gear such as armor, leather aprons, heavy coats, etc. just like any reasonable person. Kobolds generally do not wear footwear except in such circumstances as well.

Society

Community

Kobold communities are communities in the truest sense. Being small and weak compared to most other sentients, there is little hope that any single kobold will have the might to protect their home. But kobold communities generally do not rely on individual action to protect and sustain themselves. Instead they tend towards communalistic or even anarchistic modes of organization.

Every member of the community seeks support from and gives support to the people around them. Most kobolds are very communally minded, prefer cooperation and tend towards a sort of casual selflessness. This doesn't mean that kobolds regularly martyr themselves for the good of their families and community, but that in small, everyday ways it is often the communal good that weighs heavier than their individual personal desires when making choices.

Sex & Reproduction

Kobold young are born from eggs. Eggs are internally fertilized during sex between two kobolds (in fact, there are some reports that fertilization may not always be required, but this is unconfirmed). Eggs are laid either one or two at a time only and a kobold capable of laying eggs may do so as few as zero or as many as twelve times in their life with one to three times being very common numbers of offspring.

The eggs are spherical, about 6 inches in diameter and the shell is a thick, leathery material in a grey or milky white shade. It is slightly translucent and in the right lighting conditions, the growing kobold inside can be seen in vague silhouette.

Gestation in the egg takes 7-8 months and temperature regulation of the egg's environment is key at this time. Young kobolds use already-sharp hand and foot claws to cut their way out of their egg when ready and then spend the next few months learning to move and walk and are usually speaking around a year of age. Eggs and young are cared for communally generally with a group of trained, dedicated kobolds leading the task, rather than the birth parents. See below for more of Kobold family formation.

Sex among kobolds is not always for reproduction and, in fact, is more often than not for social reasons. In fact, as will be discussed more below, sex between individuals who are incapable of producing young together is much more common than sex between those who can. Kobolds, like most sentients, also consider a wide variety of acts to be part of sex which can include any non-reproductive organ or body part, most commonly: mouths, hands, tongues, tails and anuses.

Gender

Kobolds generally do not construe of gender the same way that Big People cultures around them do. They draw a distinction between kobolds capable of producing eggs and, therefore, young and those who are incapable, but this is not seen to have a large impact on gender roles in most kobold communities.

Instead, they conceive of a space defined by three gender role archetypes and individuals often find their own balance between these archetypes or even move freely around in the space over time. The archetypes are complex and have much history and subtlety which is beyond the scope of this text to cover, but, roughly, there is one that embodies leadership, decision-making and force of personality, one that embodies caring, nurturing and organizing and one that embodies energetic action, spontaneity and creative thinking.

Sexual & Romantic Relationships

Kobold romantic relationships are also very dissimilar from Big People romantic relationships. Kobolds form households, which are groups of adults who have agreed to live together and form their own micro-community within their larger community. These may be as small as two or as many as six or eight (larger households do occur, but are not very common at all).

In general, most members of a household will have some kind of sexual and/or romantic relationship with most of the other members of the household. Members of the households will often occupy varying places within kobold gender space. There seems to be one fairly rigid cultural norm that members of the same household should not be able to produce young together. Which is to say that households, for the vast majority, will be either entirely made of up egg-laying kobolds or those who cannot lay eggs.

It is also extremely common for kobolds to have romantic and sexual relationships outside of their households. These relationships may even be stronger and more longer-lasting than those within their households. These extra-household relationships are how eggs become fertilized, but that is by far not the only context in which they exist.

In general, kobolds are much more comfortable and casual about sex and other physical intimacy than most Big People cultures. Casual, low-stakes sex between new acquaintances is not uncommon. Similarly, displays of physical intimacy including sex are not seen as something to be hidden, so public displays of affection up to and including intercourse are not rare. Often the more involved acts are not conducted in central, highly visible locations, but this seems to be mostly a matter of pragmatics: No one wants to trip over an amorous and oblivious pile of kobolds.

Even greetings between individuals who do not have established sexual or romantic relationships display a high degree of physical intimacy compared to most Big People. Hugging, nuzzling and cuddling are extremely common behaviors even between acquaintances and touching of hands, shoulders, arms or faces is common when meeting strangers. Tail caresses (of others' tails, legs and feet), in particular, can convey much nuance between kobolds with subtle adjustments being used to convey the difference between a friendly, collegial greeting, a suggestion of the possibility of sex or the greeting of a romantic partner after a long time apart.

Such casual physical contact is near-constant among individuals who know each other well. Groups working together, for instance, say cooking within a household or working in a craft shop will constantly bump each other at the hip, touch tail to foot, touch each other's arms in passing, etc. It is often a reflexive and subconscious act for many individuals.

One note of interest is that kobolds do not kiss the way most mammalian Big People do. However, they do often engage in playful nipping. Their teeth are sharp, but their scales protect them from much harm. The biting is not confined to any particular body part and anything that other normal contact brings near the mouth is a potential target.

Family

Given all of the above, family among kobolds is a complicated and confusing topic for most Big People. There are many words for the different ways an individual is related to others which capture different flavors of familial relationship (your birth mother's housemate who cared for you in the hatchery, your birth father's other children by different mothers, your lover's housemate's child, etc.), but it is also very important to kobolds.

Kobolds read family broadly and in a sense everyone in a community considers themselves family. Among family, displays of affection in celebration, mourning, reunion or simply to show love are often large group affairs that range from a scrum of hugging and nuzzling to full orgies, sometimes with one leading into another.

Children are not considered to be members of a household, but live in special child-only housing where caregivers are nearby. They are aware, however, of who their birth parents are and often spend time in and with their parents' households forming relationships with their parents' housemates and their lovers and friends, etc. Choosing to form or join a household is seen as a major rite of passage and generally happens near when an individual reaches physical maturity (generally between the ages of 8 and 12).

It is not unheard of for a kobold to leave a household and join or form a new one with others, but it is seen as a socially significant event and so is not done often or lightly. Most often such a step is taken due to an individual moving to a new community or feeling like they have reached a new stage in life.

Older kobolds (lifespans are typically 45-65 years) will sometimes "retire" from their household and form new ones or, if a household has tended towards higher ages, merge with other households of individuals of similar ages. These households often hold a special place in kobold communities. Children will spend time learning from the community's elders and problems faced by the community will be put before them for advice. While many kobold communities do not have a single leader and some lack even an official council, households of elders often play these roles informally.

Language

Kobolds are capable of learning and speaking the languages of most other sentients, but due to distinct anatomy along their vocal tracts, most other sentients cannot learn to speak kobolds native languages (though with training they may be able to learn to understand such languages). As with all species, there are many different kobold cultures and languages thus vary across them. However, the most widely spoken language among kobold communities is Chrqrryip.

To begin with, understand that the sounds of languages invented by Big People are possible, but not the most comfortable for most kobolds. The easiest sounds for them to make have more in common with small dogs, birds and lizards. Sometimes Big People will characterize kobold speech as sounding like a dingo, a crow and a pigeon having an argument.

Also, there is no writing system widely agreed upon across the Chrqrryip speaking community. The vast majority of kobolds do not write their own language or use a simple system of pictographs, rather than an alphabet. Much kobold writing is done using borrowed writing systems from other languages that are popular nearby. Most culturally important kobold history or stories are passed on verbally in the form of song or epic poetry (see below).

Therefore, the spelling "Chrqrryip" is not universally used and is, at best, a vague approximation to help a non-kobolds make roughly the correct sounds. The first syllable, spelled, "chr" is the most straightforward. It is a voiceless postalveolar afficate followed by a syllabic R-like sound. For kobolds, this R-like sound is almost a purr in the back of the throat, but even kobolds with very little exposure to Big People would recognize this sound if the speaker made the sound /tʃɹ̩/.

The second syllable, spelled "qrr", is much trickier. It is a sound most like the low cooing that pigeons sometimes make. The vocal tract of most species of Big People is wholly incapable of making this sound, so Big People scholars of kobold culture often best approximate it with either a voiceless uvular or voiceless velar stop followed by a syllabic voiced alveolar trill: /qr̩/ or /kr̩/.

The final syllable, spelled "yip", is a high pitched sound like might be made by a small canine. There are many variations in sounds like this that kobolds can differentiate while most Big People's ears are not well trained to distinguish them (let alone reproduce with their vocal tracts). So most Big People do their best and hope any kobold listeners will give them the benefit of the doubt.

Just looking at the name of this one, very common language should give an idea of the phonetic texture of kobold languages and names. Many kobolds that interact regularly with Big People will adopt a second name for use by Big People that is easier for them to pronounce. This may be a name from a nearby Big People culture or a non-name word from a Big People language or just an approximation of their native name with the sounds adapted for non-kobold vocal tracts.

Culture

Kobold culture, of course, varies widely across the world, just like that of any other sentient species. However there are common themes: Kobolds tend not to revere individual folk heroes or leaders, but instead tend to tell stories of communities coming together to solve problems. There are also many, many stories of kobolds being victimized or attacked by Big People (with a strong historical basis, see below). Songs on themes of romance and sex are also very common. Since most kobolds do not read or write, almost all of these stories are conveyed through lengthy, verbally communicated epic poems or by song.

Instruments among kobolds often vary widely from community to community. They may acquire instruments from Big People communities nearby or build imitations of them at more fitting sizes. Traditional Kobold music (largely passed down from before major contact with other sentients) is largely vocal and drum-based with drums of various sizes from a few inches to 6-7 feet in diameter. These drums might be played with hands or tails or rods about two kobold fingers in diameter and one kobold forearm in length.

Artwork among kobold cultures tends to depict stories and cultural events and be narrative in structure with a series of events depicted with time flowing from one side to another of the piece. Often these works are seen as more important for their connection to the history of the species or community than their intrinsic artistic beauty, so they may be very crude. Some individuals, of course, are more talented than others and so great detail is not unheard of. Also, due to the influence of differing ideas about art from nearby Big People cultures, sometimes a community may produce art more comparable to those cultures' art.

Another interesting aspect common to many Kobold cultures are prank wars. Because they are small and weak relative to most other sentients, they tend to want to automate the defense of their homes with multiple, layered and elaborate systems of traps. This is seen as a community-wide endeavor and so all individuals spend time creating and maintaining the trap systems for their communities. As rehearsal for this, even from a young age, kobolds are encouraged to build non-lethal traps for each other. These can lead to good-natured rivalries lasting years that make Big People pranks like a full bucket sitting on top of a slightly-ajar door look absolutely pedestrian.

Education & Academia

Because of the central place that spoken poetry and song plays in kobold culture, the roles of singers and story tellers are very prestigious. Kobolds generally do not have centers of learning like Big People universities or schools, but these bards also play the role of academics. They lead the teaching of the community (both children and adults) and the continuation of their community's culture from generation to generation.

These bards are also the most likely kobolds to venture out into the wider world in search of knowledge and thus be encountered by Big People. They do not often comport themselves the way most Big People expect academics and scholars to comport themselves; formality is not a very common trait of kobold cultures.

Laws & Justice

Most kobold communities have very few laws if any. The common theme among them tends to be that letting down or failing the community when it could be avoided is seen as a transgression. This is not used to punish individuals who need support from the community. That would violate core tenets of kobold values. Instead it is a way to reinforce that those who can support the community do, so that those who the community needs to support can be so supported.

Transgressions between individuals tend to be handled with community-led mediation. Sometimes individuals must be separated (for instance in the care of interpersonal violence), but both the transgressor and the transgressed will generally receive support.

Similarly, if an individual has transgressed against the community at large, they are often not punished in a sense that would look familiar to most Big People, but receive counseling and guidance. They may have actions taken against them that are not to their liking, but imprisonment or other confinement is extremely rare.

As an example, if a community were going through a period of food scarcity and an individual was found to be hoarding food without some special need, along with receiving counseling (likely on the theme of supporting the community and being supported by it), the food they had hoarded would be returned to the community to be shared out by whatever system was currently in place. The transgressor, however, would still be supported by the community and would not go hungry themselves (any more than the rest of the community was).

Only in the most extreme cases do most kobold communities resort to something that looks like actual punishment (as opposed to efforts to rehabilitate). In these cases, a transgressor will be subjected to a ritual shunning. This may be permanent or may be for a proscribed length of time. They are not exiled from the community, but other community members will not interact with them, look at them or speak to them. They will still receive material support from the community (in that they may partake of food and shelter), but for all but the most basic needs, they are on their own. Apparently, the lack of near-constant physical touch is the thing that wears most often on those shunned and the psychological toll that long-term shunning can have due to the lack of physical contact can be severe.

Distribution

Kobolds tend to prefer warmer climates, so kobold communities are much more numerous in arid, tropical and temperate regions. They also tend (for reasons discussed below) to found communities that are out of the way of Big People, either far or hidden from dense Big People communities or travel routes.

Kobolds like to live underground, often in natural cave systems that they expand or shape slightly. This is especially true for communities in cooler regions and at higher elevations. They do not, however, tend to the deep and elaborate excavation that is typical of dwarves.

Even kobold communities that are founded above-ground tend to mimic caves in that they will be very few buildings with many interconnected rooms and the buildings may be connected by tunnels.

Whatever the material, most kobold communities consider all structures or cave space to be communally owned. A given home is seen as being used by a household at any given time, but not owned by them. Certain large structural changes and the like are often subject to community approval. To contrast this with some Big People neighborhoods with a controlling council, those changes, once endorsed by the community, will also be undertaken at the community level. If a household wants to expand to make room for some new members, the work will often be quickly agreed to and then executed by people across the community.

Relationship to Non-Kobold Society

Big People

To say that kobolds have a contentious relationship to the societies of Big People would be an extreme understatement. As you may have guessed from its usage within this document, kobolds have a term for societies and cultures dominated by humans, elves, dwarves, orcs, half-elves, halflings, etc. which more or less translates to "Big People". Though not all the species that kobolds generally classify as Big People are actually much bigger than kobolds in size, the label groups them because of their shared social and cultural ideas, especially ones that differ from those broadly held by kobolds.

Especially societies dominated by humans and elves tend to have extremely negative views of kobolds. Many consider them to be animals or barely above—a sort of non-people. Kobolds are treated poorly by most Big People: A sort of hostile toleration is most common, but it is also not rare for crimes against kobolds to go unpunished and, indeed, entirely unremarked up to and including murder.

Among Big People, kobolds have a negative reputation. Some of it is fabricated by people who benefit from kobolds' place in Big People society, some of it stems from cultural misunderstandings and a lack of smooth communications between the groups and some of it is just plain confusion or assumption on the part of Big People who are entirely unfamiliar with kobolds in any practical way. For an example of confusion and assumption, see the section on Dragons below.

An example of a cultural misunderstanding blown out of all proportion is kobolds' reputation amongst Big People for being thieves. Kobolds do not steal at any rate higher than other species. In fact, within kobold communities theft is not really possible, since almost everything is seen as communally owned. This differing conception of ownership and who has the right to use which items or resources can lead a kobold unfamiliar with Big People customs to break the local social mores or laws unknowingly and without malice.

Because of their treatment among Big People, most kobolds range between wary and distrustful in their interactions with them. Kobolds are often confused and tripped up by Big People ideas of property, gender, relationships and family. This can lead many kobolds who must interact with Big People for one reason or another to act in preemptive self defense and either assume they are going to be targeted for harassment and theft or to even use violence as a way to prevent violence against themselves. This is often not popular amongst the Big People they interact with.

This latter also explains much of the kobold-instigated violence against Big People at the community level. A kobold community may identify a new, nearby settlement of Big People, for example, as an existential threat because of past poor experiences with Big People and decide that rather than waiting for the problem to come to them in the form of armed parties killing and robbing their way through the community that they should use violence and destruction to convince the Big People to settle elsewhere.

All of this being said, there are always some kobolds who are interested in or even fascinated by Big People and their lives. These kobolds tend to self-select for duties and roles for when their community needs or wants to interact with Big People. It is not entirely unheard of for such individuals to spend lengthy amounts of time among Big People and even enter into romantic and/or sexual relationships with Big People. As can be imagined, such relationships are complicated and involve much working out of cultural ideas as well as biological compatibilities. On that topic, it should be noted that no offspring from such a coupling has ever been recorded and it is likely that none will given the extreme differences in biology between kobolds and mammalian Big People.

Very much less common are Big People who decide to spend extended time visiting or living with Kobolds. Most species would find the spaces unmanageably small, and, further, given the political and cultural dominance of Big People, it simply benefits Big People far less to understand kobolds than it does for kobolds to understand Big People. So incredibly few Big People put in the effort.

Dragons

It is important, given the probably audience of this document, to begin by saying that the relationship between kobolds and dragons exists primarily in the minds of Big People, rather than in verifiable fact.

In a biological sense, kobolds and dragons share some common features, but also many dissimilarities. Rather than the idea that one evolved from the other, it is more probable that they had a common ancestor in some far distance time. It also seems unlikely that kobolds were created by dragons any more than it might seem that giants created halflings. These theories exist mostly because Big People with only passing familiarities with dragons and kobolds made assumptions based on surface similarities and repeated them, rather than sound research and scholarship.

As to documented accounts of dragons and kobolds "working together", further investigation shows that the events described have at least some basis in fact, but an imprecise understanding of the reality. It seems that sometimes a kobold community will enter into a relationship with a dragon for various reasons most often because the dragon pledges protection from nearby Big People communities that have been or might become a threat to the kobold community. This may also in part be influenced by the Big People association of the two species and the idea that if nearby Big People will assume a kobold community is working for or with a nearby dragon they may as well get some benefit from it.

Another common—which word must be understood within the context of a general situation which is itself actually very rare—pattern is that a dragon will subjugate a kobold community with violence and the threat thereof for its own ends.

Whatever the inciting mechanism, it seems the results are almost universally the same: the kobold community becomes subject to the dragon, the standard of living plummets, the communal culture of support erodes and the kobolds that survive under such conditions rue the day they met their draconic overseer. Stories of the fates of such communities circulate among kobolds and so most communities are extremely reluctant to deal with dragons under any circumstances.

Sign up for free to join this conversation on GitHub. Already have an account? Sign in to comment