Thanks to @mipearson for his help in compiling this extremely serious and meaningful list.
- Drawing Visio diagrams
- Project management
- Standards governance
- Analyzing technical requirements
- Attending meetings
- Tweeting
- Drinking
- Writing gists
- Talking on IRC
- Getting a coffee
- Arguing about where you're going for lunch
- Listening to what Fred did on the weekend
- Jazz
- Wishing gist had a preview mode for markdown
- Checking Facebook
- Reading white papers
- Reading other sorts of paper, some of it recycled
- More drinking
- Producing amateur pornography
- Being wrong on the internet
- Starting a self-insertion webcomic about the zany adventures of you and your friends
- Arguing with somebody about whether HTML and CSS are "real programming"
- Taking an arrow in the knee and talking about the untruths of cake