A Really Terrible Image Randomizer - uses exiftool and imgmagick

img.sh

#!/bin/bash

mkdir imgs

res=()
for lhs in -1 1
do
	for rhs in $(seq -w 0 99)
	do
		res+=("${lhs}.${rhs}")
	done
done

res=("${res[@]:1}")
i=1

for n in "${res[@]}"
do
	for m in "${res[@]}"
	do
		file="imgs/${1}n${n}x${m}.png"
		convert $1 -brightness-contrast "${n}x${m}" "${file}.1"
                random0to9=$((RANDOM%10))
		random0to9999=$((RANDOM%10000))
		angle="${random0to9}.${random0to9999}"
		ratio=`convert ${file}.1 -format "%[fx:aa=$angle*pi/180; min(w,h)/(w*abs(cos(aa))+h*abs(sin(aa)))]" info:`
		crop="%[fx:floor(w*$ratio)]x%[fx:floor(h*$ratio)]"
		crop="$crop+%[fx:ceil((w-w*$ratio)/2)]+%[fx:ceil((h-h*$ratio)/2)]"
		convert "${file}.1" -set option:distort:viewport "$crop" +distort SRT $angle +repage "${file}.2"
                random0to9=$((RANDOM%10))
		random0to9999=$((RANDOM%10000))
		convert "${file}.2" -adaptive-sharpen "${random0to9}.${random0to9999}" "${file}.3"
                random0to9=$((RANDOM%10))
		random0to9999=$((RANDOM%10000))
		convert "${file}.3" -fill red -colorize "0.${random0to9999}" "${file}.4"
		random0to9999=$((RANDOM%10000))
		convert "${file}.4" -swirl "0.${random0to9999}" "${file}"
		exiftool -all= "${file}"
		
		i=$((i+1))

		if [ $2 -lt ${i} ]
		then
			rm imgs/*original
			rm imgs/*.1
			rm imgs/*.2
			rm imgs/*.3
			rm imgs/*.4
			exit 0
		fi
	done
done