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Created July 22, 2014 18:10
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Hierarchy of Cereal

Hierarchy of cereal

Some cereal is just better than other kinds of cereal and this needs to be recognized. However, some times two cereals are really close to each other and so it's hard to say that one is better than another. So this hierarchy has been developed. You can prefer one cereal over another within a tier and everyone will agree that you are not a drooling idiot. However, if you prefer a lower-tier cereal over a higher tier cereal then you have no taste nobody should give any weight to your cereal opinions.

In every category generic knock-offs of the name brand cereal count as the same. So if you buy some generic bag of Cinnamon flavor squares you would still be eating tier one cereal

If a cereal meets the definition of more than one tier then the lowest tier applies. If you find some heretic selling Golden Grahams with marshmallows that is a fourth tier cereal and should not be preferred over Golden Grahams without marshmallows.

Tier One Cereals

  • Golden Grahams
  • Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Tier Two Cereals

Any cocoa-flavored cereal. Examples include:

  • Cocoa Puffs
  • Cocoa Krispies
  • Cocoa Pebbles
  • Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls

Tier Three Cereals

Any fruit-flavored cereal. Examples include:

  • Fruit Loops
  • Fruity Pebbles

Tier Four Cereals

Anything with marshmallows. Examples include:

  • Lucky Charms

Tier Five Cereals

Stuff that isn't quite healthy, but doesn't yet taste like cardboard. Examples include:

  • Raisin Bran
  • Honey Nut Cheerios
  • Chex (honey, wheat, or corn)

Tier Six Cereals

Stuff that might be good for you. Examples include:

  • Special K
  • Grape Nuts
  • Plain bran flakes
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