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Created November 11, 2015 14:43
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SCP: Do not adjust your set (2015-11-11)
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caption=SCP-XXXX in operation
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**Item #**: SCP-XXXX
**Object Class:** Safe
**Special Containment Procedures:** Only personnel who submit a formal request and receive approval from site command may operate SCP-XXXX (the “SCP” or “television”). The SCP is locked in an airtight encasement filled with argon to prevent oxidation and corrosion of its components. The base is machined from a solid piece of aluminium measuring 100cm wide x 90cm deep. A thick sheet of non-reflective glass covers this base, attached by an anodized aluminium frame sealed with 100 bolts. The anodized frame increases corrosion resistance. The sides are 90cm high. The sides and top of the encasement are also made from non-reflective glass.
The SCP must be put in a Faraday cage before being switched on. Everyone watching the screen must be outside the cage. They must report for psychiatric evaluation three months after first exposure, and then at intervals of every three months, with a final evaluation three months after last exposure.
**Description:** SCP-XXXX resembles an ordinary domestic 19” B&W (Black and White) television of 1970’s vintage. It has no brand markings of any kind, and its build quality, materials and methods of manufacture are entirely consistent with that era. An extensive search through archives has not uncovered a commercial television set produced with the same design as the SCP.
When first acquired, the SCP was able to receive three broadcasting channels. Only one carried any advertising. The signals are of unknown origin, and had a moderate amount of static interference. Radio scanning equipment placed in the same room as the SCP was unable to account for the signals it was receiving. Researchers have confirmed that the broadcasts have not been made by any military or civilian station.
The scheduling of the programmes is based around the UK local time zone from 1972 onwards. That is to say, the programmes honour clock changes in British Summer Time (“BST”). However, exact transmission times of programmes are highly elastic, with the earliest to latest start time having a difference of about 30 minutes.
The programmes themselves do not follow conventional commercial station scheduling. There is no news or children’s television, for example. Nor are there breakfast programmes in the morning or light entertainment programmes at mealtimes.
When researchers removed the back panel of the television set to examine its internal workings, the quality of the display immediately, significantly, and permanently declined. Researchers replaced the panel hastily. There did not appear to be anything unusual about the set’s innards.
After four months of operation, the set stopped working. Engineers re-examined the innards of the television, and discovered that a valve had failed. The faulty valve was removed and repaired by technicians to a pristine state.
The set resumed operation when the valve was re-inserted. However, two channels disappeared completely. The majority of the remaining channel also disappeared. The snowing of the picture worsened. Consequently, engineers recommended that the set only be turned on for pre-planned experiments.
Watching the SCP in operation continuously for over two hours can cause slight headaches and, in some cases, nausea. Symptoms subside within 24 hours. A number of programmes and commercials are described below, together with any noted anomalies. The anomalous effects, occur after an indeterminate amount of exposure.
__Gnosis__ is a weekly broadcast on a variety of science disciplines, including biology, chemistry, physics, and mathematics. The programme is narrated, according to its subtitles, by “Prof Apostolos Baros of Alexylva University”. He occasionally shows up in some scenes. He appears to be in his late 50’s, with a full head of unkempt grey hair. He wears glasses and a tweed jacket. On the occasions where he conducts experiments, he invariably wears a lab coat.
Most of the programmes are too technical for the average layman to understand, but their contents are familiar to researchers with expertise in the subject matter concerned. Some programmes have baffled our researchers, though. Notable examples are given below.
//Quines and The Halting Problem:// an episode on Gnosis that discusses computability theory and computer programs that can reproduce itself. Foundation mathematicians and computer scientists reviewed the programme, declaring its contents to be gibberish, with no logical cohesion.
//Secrets of the Genes:// an episode that discusses gene silencing as a method of controlling the flow of genetic information. Geneticists were excited by the broadcast, as it contained knowledge of genetics that was unknown at the time. More than a decade later, Fire and Mello won the 2006 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine for their discovery of “RNA interference – gene silencing by double-stranded RNA”. The programme had anticpated substantially all of their discoveries.
//Deep in New Guinea:// an episode on the flora and fauna of remote parts of Papua New Guinea. Whilst a number of specimens they exhibited were known to botanists and biologists, there were a number of filmed specimens that have never been catalogued. The most curious specimen of all was the //Ummali// bird, an exotic tropical bird with the ability to eat using its feet. In place of the talons in the third toe of each foot are sucker-like mouths that can chew insects and graze on small clumps of moss. Foundation biologists have said that this contradicts all known facts about biology and genetics, even though the episode gives indisputable footage of the existence of the bird.
__The Olive Grove__ is a series that broadcasts at approximately 4pm, and runs for 3 hours. It seems that a camera is mounted statically overlooking some part of an olive grove in attempts to capture whatever activity is occurring there opportunistically. Invariably nothing happens, although researchers do note that the olive trees rustle and shadows shift, proving that it is real footage rather than just a static image. On rare occasions, figures are captured on camera. They are mostly of humanoids, usually of male and female couples, but sometimes groups. All of them have a luminescent glow. They would cavort, play games with stones and other objects, kiss and cuddle, and drink wine. One researcher claimed that he once saw a satyr gambol in the grove. Others saw some of the figures fly, or spontaneously appear and disappear.
__Good Vibrations__ is a series that broadcasts at approximately 7am, and usually runs for only 10 minutes. It is shot in an austere studio with a plain background. The presenter sits down, and speaks in Russian. He is apparently a faith healer, and encourages his audience to place a glass of water by the side of their television during the session. This is supposed to “psychically charge” the water for healing purposes. The presenter would, on occasion, read a letter from a viewer, testifying as to the efficacy of drinking the water. He then tells the audience to relax. For much of the rest of the programme he waves his arms and hands around, back and forth, up and down, as if to gather up negative energy and discard it by the wayside. Often he would make a clicking sound with his mouth. As the session draws to a close, he wishes his viewers well, and hopes that they will tune in the next day.
During one broadcast of Good Vibrations, a researcher bolted upright mid-way through the transmission and exclaimed excitedly, “I know what The Olive Grove is! It’s Heaven! They’re showing Heaven!” The researcher reamined agitated for several days. A psychiatric evaluation revealed that the researcher was otherwise emotionally stable and rational. He was cleared to continue work duties, and no further incidents were reported.
A series of experiments were conducted to determine the effects of placing a glass of water near the television set when Good Vibrations was on. The “charged” water was analysed using gas chromatography, but nothing unusual was found. In another experiment, the water was given to several rats, and then a dog. No change in their behaviour or physiology was observed.
In a third experiment, the water was given to a Class D prisoner. After drinking the water, he said that he felt refreshed, and that his chronic sciatica had abated. Much later in the day, after he had eaten his evening meal, he was sick, and his sciatica returned.
Finally, a Foundation biologist decided to drink the water. He, too, said that he felt invigorated. He also experienced slight euphoria, which passed after a few minutes. Later that night, just before he was about to retire to bed, he felt lightheaded. He tripped, but instead of falling to the floor, he reported floating gently up to the ceiling, where he remained for about 15 minutes. He gradually returned to earth, and experienced nothing unusual thereafter. SCP physicians examining him the next day gave him a clean bill of health.
__Advertisements__ As noted previously, only one channel broadcast advertisements. There appear to be only a very limited number of products advertised. Two examples are given below.
//Shake-a-lo// The “Shake-a-lo” is a small black box that fits into the palm of one’s hand. In one version of the commercial, a young man approaches an attractive female sitting on a park bench. He asks her for a date, but she declines. The young man takes out the “Shake-a-lo” and shakes it, causing it to rattle. The young lady immediately smiles, and extends a hand out. He takes it, she rises from her seat, and the couple walk away hand-in-hand happily.
In another version of the commercial, a middle-aged woman is taking a driving test, and is clearly an erratic and incompetent driver. As the test examiner is about to deliver his verdict, the woman takes out her “Shake-a-lo”, and shakes it. The examiner then joyfully exclaims “You’ve passed”.
The advertisements imply that the user can influence the outcome of an interpersonal interaction merely by shaking the device, even though the device itself seems nothing more than a box that rattles. Our researchers have yet to determine if the device is supposed to genuinely possess the properties claimed, or is merely a marketing tactic for a gimmicky product.
//Gordon and Blacks Spices// A research psychologist (“Jane”) was asked to evaluate an advertisement for “Gordon and Blacks Spices”. It featured a young woman in her 20’s saying “Come on grandma, do your dib-dabs”.
The commercial then cut to a dining room table that had a large quantity of spice bottles on it, all emblazoned with a Gordon and Blacks logo. A seated elderly woman in her 70’s then tapped the tops of each container in turn joyfully, seemingly counting or cataloguing them mentally, before finally arranging them in alphabetical order.
She then looked at the camera and said “I’m delighted”. The commercial finished with close-up of some of the spice jars.
In Jane’s opinion, the advertisement was wholly ineffective as a piece of marketing. This was confirmed when Jane, with the assistance of a field agent, contacted a top advertising agency for an expert opinion.
The ad executive said that such an advertisement carried no marketing message nor other forms of psychological manipulation that would make someone want to buy the product. It did not feature, for example, the spices being used in cooking, or a delicious meal that was cooked using the product.
In his opinion, no competent marketer would have produced such an advertisement, and no client would likely approve the proposed sales campaign. He also stated the advertiser also seemed to overexpose the product, and that such overexposure was likely a waste of a client’s advertising budget.
Approximately 10 weeks after the evaluation of the commercial, Jane reported to a peer that, on a routine shopping trip to her local supermarket, she bought what she thought was a bottle of Gordons and Blacks Oregano. On returning home, she noticed the spice was the store’s generic brand. She also noticed that, unbeknownst to her, that she already had six identical oregano spice jars.
Security agents investigated the matter, and were able to determine that she had bought the jars on separate occasions, all after she had evaluated the commercial. She reported that she had no memory of the other purchases, nor could she offer an explanation for her behaviour. She did not generally use spices in her cooking.
Two days later, she was detained for a breach of the peace by airport police whilst attempting to board a plane bound for Italy. When interrogated by Foundation security, she stated that she believed that one of the broadcasters, possibly the psychic, had implanted subconscious information into her about the location of The Olive Grove. She said that she believed that the grove was located somewhere in Italy, where there was a conduit between this world and an ethereal otherworld, and that she was determined to find it for herself, whatever the cost.
Neither the interrogators nor Foundation psychologists were able to obtain any more information out of her. Field agents in Italy were ordered to investigate the claims, but so far have turned out nothing. A class A amnestic was administered to Jane, and she was discharged from service. She was later found dead, having shot herself through the head.
Research on the SCP has been suspended until further notice.
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