A simple discord bot.

discordBot.js

//if you use vs code
//node .    starts app
//ctrl c    closes bot
//ctrl `    opens console

//make sure to install node
var configObj = {
  quotes: [
    "put",
    "your",
    "quotes",
    "here"
  ],
  commandsTxt: `my commands are ?ping ?hello ?info ?help ?rules ?quote ?lenny`,
  info: `
  INFO: your info here
  `,
  rules: `
  RULES:
  your rules here
  `
};

var quotes = configObj.quotes;
const Discord = require("discord.js");
const client = new Discord.Client();
const token = "your token here";

client.login(token);

client.on("ready", () => {
  console.log("I have become self aware!!");
  client.user.setActivity("memes", { type: "WATCHING" });
});


//gets a random quote from configObj
function getRandomQuote() {
  return quotes[Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length)];
}

// Create an event listener for new guild members
client.on("guildMemberAdd", member => {
  // Send the message to a designated channel on a server:
  const channel = member.guild.channels.find(ch => ch.name === "member-log");
  // Do nothing if the channel wasn't found on this server
  if (!channel) return;
  // Send the message, mentioning the member
  channel.send(`Welcome to the server, ${member}`);
});

client.on("message", msg => {

  //lenny face command
  if(msg.content === '?lenny'){
    msg.channel.send('( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)');
  } 

  //random quote machine
  if (msg.content === "?quote") {
    msg.reply(getRandomQuote());
  }

  //simple ping pong joke
  if (msg.content === "?ping") {
    msg.reply("Pong!");
  }

  if (msg.content === "?hello") {
    //if someone says hello
    let nmbr = Math.floor(Math.random() * Math.floor(3));
    //pick random number
    //for each number there is a response
    switch (nmbr) {
      case 0:
        msg.reply("hello human!");
        break;
      case 1:
        msg.reply("greetings!");
        break;
      case 2:
        msg.reply("You peasant, hello...");
        break;
    }
  }

  if (msg.content === "?rules") {
    msg.reply(configObj.rules);
  }

  if (msg.content === "?info") {
    msg.reply(configObj.info);
  }

  if (msg.content === "?help") {
    msg.reply(configObj.commandsTxt);
  }
});