#stupid_at_channels

stupid_at_channels.txt

bryce [2:45 PM]
joined #stupid_at_channels.

bryce [2:45 PM]
@channel hey all
@channel hey does anyone know how to use email
@channel got a client on the phone, can someone please explain what bench does
@channel thanks everyone

bryce [2:47 PM]
set the channel purpose: @channel hey whats up

bryce [2:47 PM]
@channel hey gang, i got my hand stuck in a peanut butter jar. any help???
@channel wow sure is sunny out today
@channel anybody else feel kind of itchy today? just like all over itchiness
@here does anybody know the command for at channel
@channel guys, got a client on the phone again. anyone know what bench does?
@channel hey where’s the bathroom
@channel how do you turn on the fireplace? asking for a friend
@channel never mind
@channel hey all what day is four o’clock friday

jhud [2:58 PM]
joined #stupid_at_channels.

jhud [2:58 PM]
lol

jhud [2:58 PM]
left #stupid_at_channels.

bryce [3:01 PM]
@channel does anybody know the name of that silver fox in Engineering?
@channel can someone please help me install slack
@channel a beehive fell on my head and it’s stuck, can someone please help
@channel help
@channel please help

bryce [4:24 PM]
@channel I dropped my keys down the storm drain
@channel There’s a whirlpool down there and a high-pitched scream that never ends
@channel Can someone please help me get my keys
@channel I’m locked out
@channel On the balcony of the second floor
@channel A seagull just landed and said something in Spanish

bryce [5:23 PM]
@channel on the way to work today I was reading a map and the wind blew it away into a puddle
@channel i’m mostly upset because it was a map to Templar gold but now it is illegible
@channel can someone please help

bryce [1:42 PM]
@channel a cool fact about trains is that they are longer than boats, generally
@channel once rode a train it was good

bryce [2:07 PM]
@channel Hey someone a horse is running around on the 4th floor, can someone send help please
@channel ummmm so a bonsai stole my mouse, how do I get it back?
@channel Also my keyboard is not working. How can I make it type words again?
@channel Just realized I don’t have a chair, I’ve been sitting on the cold, hard floor ever since I started working here. 
 Anyone know a quick fix for this?
@channel Anybody know if we do bookkeeping for pirates or soldiers of fortune? They’re sole props, right?
@channel I’ve got a former Blackwater security guy who’s moving Afghani black tar across the Pakistan border, he’s wondering 
 if gas mileage for his Toyota pickup is tax deductible?

amber [7:17 PM]
joined #stupid_at_channels.

amber [7:17 PM]
Bryyyyceeeee:heart::joy:

amber [7:18 PM]
left #stupid_at_channels.

bryce [10:23 AM]
@channel I was just out for a walk and someone dropped a piano for me from high above, it exploded into thousands of pieces 
 and now the keys are my teeth. Can someone please explain how to make it so the keys are not my teeth. Also little birds and 
 stars keep going around my head?
@channel Hey everybody I just got hit by a car
@channel Prius with a mean left hook
@channel where’s the first aid kit?

bryce [3:20 PM]
@channel a whale ate me
@channel can someone explain how I should position my body so I get shot out of the blowhole

bryce [4:48 PM]
@channel Has anyone seen my shoes? I let a disembodied pair of skeleton feet borrow them.

bryce [12:59 PM]
@channel hey all what’s the URL for Google??

bryce [1:41 PM]
@channel I just cut into an avocado and inside there is the embryo of some kind of humanoid reptile??? someone please help

bryce [2:12 PM]
@channel STUCK ON CAPSLOCK PLEASE HELP
@channel deleted my shift key please help
@channel deleted my shoes oh no
@channel guys i am trapped in a midas touch legend where i touch stuff and it deletes

bryce [10:34 AM]
@channel I tried to make coffee but the machine is dribbling a long, thin stream of blood.
@channel Hot steaming blood
@channel I think it’s haunted. Can someone please help?
@channel I put cream in my coffee and it formed the shape of a howling skull
@channel “You’re next” the skull mouthed, and I heard it speak in my head
@channel is this an HR issue?

bryce [10:49 AM]
@channel The City of Vancouver rejected my new logo suggestion—a giant syringe with jagged line inside representing a 
 magnitude 9.9 earthquake
@channel Can someone please help me tidy up this pitch

bryce [11:14 AM]
@channel while burrowing underground as a mode of transport, i forgot to take a left turn at Albuquerque, and now i am in a 
 forest being being hunted by a bald man with a speech impediment and a gun. please help
@channel I ran into a tunnel, but it was actually a mural painted on a rock wall. now my body is crushed, accordioning wildly 
 left to right as i waddle around. please help
@channel someone dropped a large safe on me. the door swung open and i was inside the safe, visibly suffering from a head 
 injury. please help
@channel anvils, safes, pianos—all of these heavy objects are constantly being dropped on me from above. please help

bryce [1:53 PM]
@channel I ate an avocado and I swallowed the pit. Does this mean an avocado tree will grow inside my stomach?

bryce [2:17 PM]
@channel I have to throw away a bucket of compost. Is it biodegradable? Or does it goes in recycling?

bryce [11:49 AM]
@channel Dammit. I was trying to steal honey from some bees, and now my head is stuck in this beehive.
@channel I am running away from the swarm of bees, but they have formed into a large arrow

bryce [3:46 PM]
@channel Hey everybody, I cut an avocado in half and the pit is a literal pit. As in, a black opening from which no light 
 escapes. I dropped the paring knife in, and listened, and listened, but didn’t hear it hit bottom. Sometimes a gust of cold 
 air comes from the pit, carrying the smell of tomb dust.
@channel The avocado remains evergreen. The pit, black as God’s pupil.
@channel Last night, I dreamed of the pit. I dreamed it was calling my name.
@channel please help

evan [4:47 PM]
joined and left #stupid_at_channels.

bryce [1:56 PM]
@channel Hey everybody, I forgot how to work at Bench
@channel Can someone give me a hand
@channel Hey everybody, I ate the hot sauce in the fridge and now I'm dead. Please help

cameron [12:57 PM]
joined #stupid_at_channels along with 9 others. Also, paul joined and left.