Simple Command and Reply Slack Bot

gistfile1.txt

module.exports = require('node-slackr');

// Set up server dependencies
var express = require('express'),
	bodyParser = require('body-parser'),
	app = express();

// App usage
app.use(bodyParser.json());
app.use(bodyParser.urlencoded({extended: true}));

// Static Default variables
// TODO: Move to .env file for VC
var urlHook = 'incominghookURL',
	channel = '#sandbox',
	username = 'Tomkat';

// Initialize client
Slack = require('node-slackr');
slack = new Slack(urlHook, {
	channel: channel,
	username: username
});

var server_port = process.env.YOUR_PORT || process.env.PORT || 80;
var server_host = process.env.YOUR_HOST || '0.0.0.0';
app.listen(server_port, server_host, function() {
    console.log('Listening on port %d', server_port);
});

app.get('/', function(req, res) {
	res.send("server is up and running!");
});

app.post('/commands', function(req, res) {
	var reqString = req.body.text.toLowerCase();

	// Default Message
	messages = {
	    text: "Message test",
	    channel: "#sandbox",
	    username: "new-bot-name",
	    icon_url: "https://slack.com/img/icons/app-57.png"
	}

	if (commandCheck(reqString, "ship")) {
		messages = {
			text: "The ship has arrived!",
			channel: '#anthro_tomkat',
			username: "P.O.P.P.A Ship",
			icon_emoji: ":ship:"
		}
	}

	if (commandCheck(reqString, "cactus")) {
		var user = getUser(reqString);

		messages = {
			text: "Sorry," + user + "one does not simply say Cactus, without a little dance. \n http://graphics.desivalley.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/cactus.gif",
			channel: '#anthro_tomkat',
			username: "Cactus",
			icon_emoji: ":cactus:"
		}
	}

	if (commandCheck(reqString, "hills")) {
		message = {
			text: "https://files.slack.com/files-pri/T024UAEDJ-F071KCSUQ/soup-in-the-hills.jpg",
			channel: '#anthro_tomkat',
			username: 'The Real Soup',
			icon_emoji: ":soup:"
		}
	}

	if (commandCheck(reqString, "soup")) {
		soupArray = [
			"http://media.giphy.com/media/VJys6sgIRtcNa/giphy.gif",
			"http://media.veryfunnypics.eu/2013/10/funny-pics-gordon-ramsay-this-soup-is-so-hot.jpg",
			"http://www.comicsandmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/Gordon-Ramsay-Angry-Kitchen-SOUP-IS-DRY.jpg",
			"Only the pure in heart can make a good soup. \n - Ludwig van Beethoven",
			"A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting. \n - Abraham Maslow",
			"I live on good soup, not on fine words. \n - Moliere",
			"http://originalsoupman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/soupwshaq.jpg",
			"http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1294662/campbells-chicken-noodle-soup-o.gif",
			"https://144f2a3a2f948f23fc61-ca525f0a2beaec3e91ca498facd51f15.ssl.cf3.rackcdn.com/uploads/food_portal_data/image/image/2692/compressed_tumblr_m4p19sDgqW1ru5tboo1_500-1.gif",
			"When you have a good stock, you can make a good soup. \n - Martin Yan \n http://image.pbs.org/merlin/s3.amazonaws.com/pbs.merlin.cdn.prod/curatedwebobjects/yan_thumb.jpg.resize.64x64.jpg",
			'"Which hand should you use to stir the soup?" "Neither, you should use a spoon."',
			"To soup--may it be seen and not heard.",
			'"What is Dracula\'s favorite soup?" "Scream of tomato."',
			"http://i.imgur.com/BODefEN.gif",
			"http://www.mememaker.net/static/images/memes/3789720.jpg",
			"https://files.slack.com/files-pri/T024UAEDJ-F04N85TGS/pasted_image_at_2015_05_06_11_13_am.png"
		];

		var randomNumber = Math.floor((Math.random() * soupArray.length));

		messages = {
			text: soupArray[randomNumber],
			channel: '#anthro_tomkat',
			username: "P.O.P.P.A Soup",
			icon_emoji: ":soup:"
		}
	}

	if (commandCheck(reqString, "babka")) {
		var buildStart = "Did you ask for a...babka!? \n";

		babkaArray = [
			"https://img1.etsystatic.com/027/1/7376718/il_570xN.540669381_6et8.jpg",
			buildStart + "https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/f9/b5/e6/f9b5e603a36e3870b4a2d94764ec956f.jpg",
			buildStart + "https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/46/67/e6/4667e6304feaed1750e9dbe1a2853694.jpg",
			"http://s9.favim.com/orig/130810/bitch-black-and-white-donut-doughnut-Favim.com-845433.png",
			"http://chrispiascik.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/1654-20140624-DangerDonut.jpg",
			"I’m on my version of the protein diet, but there ain’t no protein in it. It’s a Krispy Kreme doughnut between two Cinnabons. And you soak it overnight in Red Bull. Then you chase it with a Snickers. \n - J. B. Smoove \n http://s1.evcdn.com/images/block/I0-001/017/815/552-7.jpeg_/jb-smoove-comix-presents-52.jpeg",
			"I am a jelly doughnut. \n - President John F. Kennedy \n http://thumbs.ebaystatic.com/d/l96/m/mopTO2z8mA8r5tqbCbMOM9g.jpg",
			"Mmmmmm…doughnuts \n - Homer Simpson \n http://cdn-img.easyicon.net/png/11341/1134100.gif"
		];

		var randomNumber = Math.floor((Math.random() * babkaArray.length));

		messages = {
			text: babkaArray[randomNumber],
			channel: '#anthro_tomkat',
			username: "P.O.P.P.A Babka",
			icon_emoji: ":babka:"
		}
	}


	if (commandCheck(reqString, "burrito")) {
		var buildStart = "Did you ask for a..burrito? \n";

		stringArray = [
			'https://wheresthetofu.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/tumblr_lvgm6mdcyo1qgvw4mo2_1280.jpg',
			'http://images.bwbx.io/cms/2013-10-18/1018_Chipotle_tofu_630x420.jpg',
			'https://files.slack.com/files-pri/T024UAEDJ-F04NW1VFP/pat_burritoman.jpg'
		];

		var randomNumber = Math.floor((Math.random() * stringArray.length));

		messages = {
			text: stringArray[randomNumber],
			channel: '#anthro_tomkat',
			username: "P.O.P.P.A Burrito",
			icon_url: "http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/images/2012/chicken_veggie_burrito_50.jpg"
		}
	}

	slack.notify(messages);
});

// Command Checker
function commandCheck(commandArray, command) {
	if (commandArray.indexOf(command) !=-1) {
		return true;
	}
};

function getUser(reqString) {
	if (reqString.indexOf(":") != -1) {
		var colonLoc = reqString.indexOf(":");
		var userName = reqString.substring(0, colonLoc);
		return userName;
	} else {
		return;
	}
}