sing_when_we_win.py

"""The truth is, I thought it mattered --
I thought that music mattered.
But does it bollocks?
Not compared to how people matter.
"""

from itertools import cycle, repeat
from operator import methodcaller
from typing import List

# Here, we apply DRY to something so very, very not dry. (In a few different ways!)
spoken_intro = __doc__
sing_when_we_win = cycle(["(We'll be singing)", "(When we're winning)"])
knock = cycle(['I get knocked down', 'but I get up again', "You're never gonna keep me down"])
piss = repeat('Pissing the night away')
thing_for_him_to_do = cycle(['He drinks a %s drink', 'He sings the songs that remind him of the %s times'])
drink = cycle(['whiskey', 'vodka', 'lager', 'cider'])
remind_him = cycle(['good', 'better'])
danny = repeat('Danny Boy')
girls_drinking = cycle(['Oh, ' + ', '.join([x for _, x in zip(range(3), danny)]),
                        "Don't cry for me, next door neighbor"])
ooh = repeat('(ooh)')


def get_knocked_down_gen():
    """Generate background lyrics in the refrain at the song's end. Generated in sets of three lines."""
    i = 0
    while True:
        yield lc_first_letter(next(sing_when_we_win))
        if i >= 4:
            yield parenthesize(lc_first_letter(next(piss)), add_lf=False)
        else:
            yield ''
        third_vocal = next(sing_when_we_win)
        if i % 2 == 0:
            yield lc_first_letter(third_vocal)
        else:
            yield next(ooh)
        i += 1


get_knocked_down_bkgd = get_knocked_down_gen()


def do_thing_to_first_letter(s: str, method: str) -> str:
    """Call a method on the first alphaballistic character in a string. Used to capitalize or lower-case a string."""
    mc = methodcaller(method)
    for i in range(len(s)):
        if s[i].isalpha():
            s = s[:i] + mc(s[i]) + s[i + 1:]
            return s
    return s


def cap_first_letter(s: str) -> str:
    """Capitalize the first letter in a string."""
    # Python's str.capitalize method lower-cases the "I"s.
    return do_thing_to_first_letter(s, 'upper')


def lc_first_letter(s: str) -> str:
    """Lower-case the first letter in a string."""
    return do_thing_to_first_letter(s, 'lower')


def parenthesize(s: str, add_lf: bool = True) -> str:
    if s[0] == '(' and s[-1] == ')':
        return s
    return f'({s})' + ('\n' if add_lf else '')


def join_two_phrases(join_str: str, lines: List[str], add_lf: bool = True) -> str:
    if len(lines) > 2 or len(lines) == 0:
        raise IndexError("Need one or two phrases to join on the same line")
    a = cap_first_letter(lines[0])
    if len(lines) == 1 or lines[1] == '' or lines[1] is None:
        return a + ('\n' if add_lf else '')
    b = lc_first_letter(lines[1])
    return join_str.join([a, b]) + ('\n' if add_lf else '')


def intro() -> str:
    preface = spoken_intro + '\n'
    for _ in range(3):
        preface += next(sing_when_we_win) + '\n'
    next(sing_when_we_win)  # discard next "when we're winning"
    return preface


def get_knocked_down(background_vocals: bool = False) -> str:
    """Generates the refrain.

    If background_vocals is False, returns a full 4 set stanza of getting knocked down.

    If background_vocals is True, returns a single refrain as a stanza."""
    stanza = ''
    if background_vocals:
        for _ in range(3):
            stanza += join_two_phrases(' ', [next(knock), next(get_knocked_down_bkgd)])
    else:
        for _ in range(4):
            stanza += join_two_phrases(', ', [next(knock), next(knock)])
            stanza += next(knock) + '\n'
    return stanza


def take_the_piss() -> str:
    return parenthesize(join_two_phrases(', ', [next(piss), next(piss)], add_lf=False))


def drink_and_sing() -> str:
    stanza = ''
    he_drinks = next(thing_for_him_to_do)
    for i in range(2):
        stanza += join_two_phrases(', ', [he_drinks % x for _, x in zip(range(2), drink)])
    he_sings = next(thing_for_him_to_do)
    for i in range(2):
        stanza += he_sings % next(remind_him) + '\n'
    stanza += parenthesize(next(girls_drinking))
    return stanza


def hell():
    print(intro())
    while True:
        print(get_knocked_down())
        print(take_the_piss())
        print(drink_and_sing())


def thump_tub():
    print(intro())
    for _ in range(2):
        print(get_knocked_down())
        print(take_the_piss())
        print(drink_and_sing())
    print(get_knocked_down())
    for _ in range(16):
        print(get_knocked_down(background_vocals=True))


if __name__ == '__main__':
    thump_tub()