gladia2.txt

[2.81-3.01] Hello,
[3.13-3.87] good morning.
[4.67-7.22] I'm sorry I didn't get to do this last night and send it to you already.
[8.89-9.45] I got to my friends,
[9.53-14.63] he had just recently found out his mom got diagnosed with lung cancer,
[14.81-18.15] so I just kinda stayed there longer than I intended,
[18.19-19.65] like holding space and stuff.
[22.31-24.67] But I feel like this kinda leads into one of the questions we were talking about,
[24.71-25.71] who would you recommend me to?
[27.21-28.39] Like I actually talked about you,
[29.27-29.81] just in general,
[29.85-30.11] being like,
[30.15-30.25] yeah,
[30.37-31.07] my friend Jacqueline.
[31.63-35.50] And I always hype you up,
[35.56-35.92] honestly,
[37.46-37.92] to people,
[38.58-38.72] like that.
[38.78-54.90] my friends and I feel like I just kind of naturally like you know like hurt people like recognize hurt people like you see it you can see it in like their essence and so I feel like you can tell when like someone needs help and so it's like that kind of feeling and
[55.44-68.31] like that that help where it's like that desperate like longing kind of help where it's like I feel like I've tried so much and I don't see the point in trying more and like that's that's what like that work
[68.77-85.29] into your body work helped me get like see that like the power of it like that's because like I was kind of already tapping into that stuff naturally like through my practices but I didn't know like I didn't know that's what I was doing like tapping into my body so like once I
[85.35-98.52] started following you and seeing your content and things like it gave me like more of a direct roadmap instead of like like your episode you're just talking about with like behind the intention like I was just kind of floating it out there and
[98.78-101.03] to focus the attention on like.
[103.33-105.59] The transformation that I have felt in the last like,
[106.41-107.37] since January,
[108.03-108.25] really,
[109.33-109.45] I guess,
[109.55-109.71] yeah,
[109.73-110.49] it's about six months,
[110.81-111.05] like,
[112.21-112.53] I don't know,
[112.65-112.97] like it's,
[113.37-114.43] like I feel unlocked.
[115.09-117.85] Like I'm not scared to be seen in public anymore.
[118.39-120.19] And if there are times I do get overwhelmed,
[120.49-120.73] like,
[121.33-123.89] like that time I told you about in the car where I was like,
[123.93-124.57] what's going on?
[124.95-126.63] Why is my body freaking out?
[126.67-127.76] It was because I was going the wrong place,
[127.80-130.28] but I did all the things like close my eyes,
[132.86-134.26] in your awareness meditations.
[135.06-135.92] And so,
[137.04-139.92] like those are the people I want to recommend it to because like the people who has,
[140.30-142.98] have things in their bodies that they need help with.
[143.64-145.02] And so with my friend last night,
[145.20-147.98] I did a humming practice with him and I did a tapping,
[148.36-151.65] showed him how to do like tapping and like a lymphatic drainage massage,
[151.69-154.05] like with tapping too like I kind of combine the two when I do them.
[155.83-156.01] But,
[156.83-157.29] and so like,
[157.35-157.59] I'm gonna,
[159.85-160.11] like.
[161.63-161.79] you know,
[162.09-172.54] when I see things like that or like share those practices and things and share about you because I know that it's much needed and especially since like you come with it not just as a perspective of like,
[173.46-173.64] you know,
[173.76-177.67] because there's people out there that like want to heal and help people but it's also kind of about like,
[179.33-179.61] I don't know,
[179.83-185.49] maybe not always coming from the greatest intentions or like that
[187.19-187.57] I don't know,
[187.73-189.23] I'm sure you're gonna catch on what I'm trying to say,
[189.31-194.70] but like that your passion behind it is like to create a safer place,
[194.76-216.24] to recognize the world that we've created and how we can like change it and change it for like safety and connection and support and like a place where people like even with those fears and those that pain and that like sometimes conflict like that there's space and room to
[216.30-217.02] go through it together.
[217.22-230.01] rather than like be at each other's throats all the time because Everyone's in so much pain and feels like they don't have time to be themselves and Feel like that's probably a really super ass super long ass way to describe all that,
[230.07-231.09] but I've got the questions up.
[231.19-234.25] So I'm walking to work right now.
[234.57-236.97] So I'm just gonna kind of go through them as I'm doing that.
[237.03-241.79] So hopefully that's okay and Otherwise,
[242.07-245.79] let's see your things tonight or tomorrow so like I get off work at 7
[247.55-249.64] So if we needed to check back in with anything this evening,
[249.68-250.02] we could.
[253.25-253.33] So,
[254.60-256.68] and I'll try to pause between the questions,
[257.20-260.40] so that way you can see the gap in the audio on the thing,
[260.46-261.50] so if you clip it or whatever,
[262.34-263.52] then it'll be easier.
[265.14-266.39] So why did you wanna work with me?
[268.31-269.61] What about me drew you to me?
[270.75-271.39] So I think for you,
[271.85-275.49] honestly you just randomly popped up in my suggested pages,
[275.53-278.02] because apparently we've had a lot of mutual friends in the past,
[278.10-278.26] but,
[280.87-297.30] And I think the first thing I started seeing about was like some of the polyvagal ladder stuff and I'd recognized that from when I did When with my neurologist when I was going through a lot of brain therapy with my Lyme disease treatment because they used a little like electrical
[297.38-298.96] impulsing that clip on my ears
[300.11-302.90] And it would start vibrating and then up to the point where they were like,
[302.94-303.08] okay,
[303.12-305.20] when you start to feel like you're a little wavier,
[305.24-305.90] like you're on a boat,
[305.98-308.08] like stop turning it up and then go down one.
[309.42-312.96] And so that's like what kind of tapped me into it.
[313.00-313.34] Cause I was like,
[313.44-317.20] I feel like I need to be getting back into like supporting my,
[317.30-317.42] well,
[317.68-319.46] I was just thinking like sorting my brain at that point.
[319.92-323.52] But then you were able to like help me draw that connection to like the nervous system.
[324.30-325.58] And like,
[325.64-328.11] I think what honestly like made me feel safe with you and drew me in.
[329.05-338.04] me to you was like your like ability to live in that gray area with compassion and grace and ease.
[338.66-344.72] Like I'm someone who for most of my life would jump to very extremes like of the spectrum.
[344.76-346.78] It has to be like all or nothing type of a thing.
[347.38-349.96] And if I did something in between or at the other side,
[350.94-353.20] I would just shame myself nonstop.
[354.52-356.28] And so I feel like that was honestly the biggest,
[356.94-358.24] one of the biggest pieces was like.
[359.40-364.32] Like in addition to just fine tuning and practices and connecting to my body and things like that,
[365.13-371.51] but of like realizing like it's not always me and it's not my fault and that I'm not broken.
[371.71-377.79] Like I'm not messed up in some way and that I just need to hold different perspectives.
[378.15-381.04] And yeah,
[381.18-382.90] so I think that's really what it is.
[382.96-384.20] And like that,
[386.44-389.66] because there's other people I've looked at or things like that that,
[390.28-390.46] you know,
[390.70-393.50] they do hold that kind of extremist thing.
[393.72-395.30] And you're like,
[395.36-395.42] no,
[395.82-396.00] you know,
[396.08-396.14] if,
[396.30-399.42] if you can't really do anything and you kind of have to like fucking dissociate sometimes,
[399.48-399.66] like,
[400.20-400.36] you know,
[400.46-401.87] try to add some other practices in there,
[401.91-402.27] but like,
[402.47-405.21] it's okay because your body's just trying to protect you.
[405.25-406.19] And like coming from that,
[406.25-409.79] like in itself just helps me in those states,
[409.81-410.71] like find more comfort.
[410.81-413.05] Like even if I'm not like not able to do anything,
[413.09-415.77] just knowing that like that,
[415.87-416.31] I'm okay.
[416.61-420.49] I'm perfect as I am is like game-changing.
[423.37-425.17] What has been your favorite part of doing this work?
[426.11-427.13] I love the humming.
[427.33-429.23] The humming has been really,
[429.31-430.00] really good for me.
[432.18-434.46] And I think too of just like...
[436.98-451.57] It's kind of helped build my resources so that way when I am facing like challenges or certain situations That I almost like I mean I don't wanna say I get excited But like kinda like I get curious about oh,
[451.65-452.53] where is this coming from?
[452.85-453.79] What is in this darkness?
[453.85-454.81] What is in the shadows?
[455.33-466.03] What can I understand from this and like I love that I have more of a toolkit to do that now my sister and I We called it spiritual spelunking
[466.51-484.64] Like you know how people go into caves and it's very dark in there obviously and can be scary and unknown territory and things and So I just liked likes that And then what
[484.68-492.46] was the biggest transformation you got Wow okay this person just decided to turn in front of me on the walkway I
[495.44-503.07] I think in recognizing my sleeping and eating habits.
[505.47-506.83] Even through all the work I've done the last few years,
[506.87-508.13] that was always still something that I've,
[509.05-509.75] it's so hard for me,
[509.93-510.41] it's so hard.
[510.61-511.25] It's just hard for me.
[512.15-517.79] And I think like the yoga nidras in the afternoon have been a big game changer.
[519.05-520.21] Because I thought before like,
[520.33-520.41] oh,
[520.59-521.21] I only have like,
[521.61-521.77] you know,
[521.87-524.27] four hours in the morning every day that I can actually get work done.
[524.71-526.87] And so I,
[527.55-528.39] and then adding that in,
[528.71-529.61] it was like a reset button.
[529.69-530.21] I realized like,
[530.23-530.39] hey,
[531.04-532.50] I can spread things out in my day a little bit more.
[532.56-534.36] I don't have to do it all when I first wake up.
[535.72-536.98] And with the eating,
[537.50-538.78] I think I also talked to you about this another time,
[538.82-540.06] of being able to recognize more.
[541.53-558.14] like zoning in more on the sensations I'm feeling and what they're actually relating to instead of what um like I thought they were um but yeah like recognizing like when I'm feeling off and like that halt thing the hunger angry lonely tired um
[558.60-567.58] like I think that like recognizing that and asking myself that and recognizing what my body does when those things are occurring um has been really helpful.
[573.25-574.67] I think I forgot to pause between the things,
[574.83-575.01] sorry.
[576.57-579.07] So what surprised you the most about working with me?
[582.89-585.83] I think just how lighthearted you can keep it.
[586.43-588.92] Like you are the light in the caves,
[588.98-589.66] in the darkness.
[590.44-597.48] And finding those ways to bring a little like awe and curiosity and pleasure to it.
[599.64-599.88] And
[600.53-600.79] I think,
[600.85-601.95] because for me,
[602.17-603.97] I can kind of get stuck in a serious mode too,
[604.07-606.31] and I've tried been working on being more playful,
[606.37-607.71] and so I think that really like,
[609.74-610.20] like really,
[611.36-612.30] like also drew me to you.
[612.84-616.20] And it was like fun,
[616.70-616.88] you know,
[617.62-619.12] like doing this work became fun.
[623.21-624.91] What changes would improve your experience?
[625.43-628.30] What frustrations or anything that didn't work for you?
[630.20-630.70] I think for me,
[630.86-631.06] like...
[632.49-642.29] Maybe like the rhythm like you've heard to talk about like that with like the rhythm of some of the sessions like every other week sometimes Felt a bit much for me Just to like be live,
[642.69-643.91] but I also think like at that time.
[644.01-648.60] I was still working up to Feeling comfortable just around people no matter what scenario.
[648.70-660.14] I'm in because a lot of times I retreat but I Think like having some options like the recorded and then some of the live You
[661.57-662.17] would be a good,
[662.23-663.13] like you already talked about,
[663.15-663.63] would be good.
[664.87-665.75] And then another thing,
[666.09-677.31] I think just because like my brain and like incentive has to have that like weird balance of like someone being there but not telling you to do too much.
[677.37-683.31] So sometimes like either the number of emails or the number of like discord reminders like,
[683.39-684.23] oh what have you done today?
[685.25-687.33] Just because it's like how my brain is sometimes I would like be like,
[687.45-688.37] oh no I don't want to do this.
[688.95-690.29] Or I would like you know,
[690.37-691.43] like avoid it or something.
[691.53-710.54] because I hadn't done it yet and like like an overdue assignment or something I don't know it doesn't really make sense but it's just something weird that my brain does so like I guess that was the only thing that sometimes I'd be like oh and then let's
[710.58-711.88] see is there anything else
[716.31-718.25] I think like not really a frustration,
[718.95-728.60] but I think I did want to like connect with the people more like just have more time to like hear people's stories and understand them because I Mean,
[728.74-744.86] maybe that's just like part of me too because like I could feel their energy but I couldn't like place it and I couldn't like pick up on like who I was connecting to in each time and like so I think that that would be maybe kind of cool to have more of just like maybe a
[744.96-745.82] Time where people just
[745.86-750.34] just like get to talk and hang out and it can obviously be optional like everything is that you have.
[751.80-752.12] But yeah,
[752.14-766.87] like removing that kind of pressure from like the doing like always arriving at just the way that you are and it's okay and if it's not for you turn it off like I think that's a very important message as well and I appreciated that a lot.
[768.73-773.97] So if I had to describe Body Language Lab and its impact to a friend and wanted to send says how would I?
[776.01-776.27] Um,
[778.33-786.07] I'm like already trying to think of how I've been describing it to people because each time it's kind of been like Catered to how to relate to them Um,
[786.87-793.79] I guess I would say that It's a way to
[795.99-806.06] like open yourself up in like in safe parameters because you have like kind of like you create kind of this safe bubble.
[807.37-812.57] that people can understand themselves and then also learn about how it's happening in their body.
[812.95-815.49] Like what's happening behind the hormone cascades,
[815.53-816.91] what's happening behind the nervous system,
[816.95-818.63] what's happening behind your,
[819.09-819.31] you know,
[819.71-821.21] all of your organs doing things.
[822.03-830.12] And like that that often is the piece that's missing when people try to go through things because um
[832.44-837.71] Like you've talked about many times when you talk about things that have been hard in your life or that are uncomfortable,
[838.31-838.93] that your body,
[839.01-839.67] like mine at least,
[839.71-841.27] will either just start shaking.
[841.87-844.31] And maybe some people's tense is up or freezes.
[845.39-846.77] But I literally just start twitching.
[850.37-854.67] And so like understanding that there's something behind that.
[854.71-856.64] Like there's a reason for that.
[857.20-860.18] And that...
[861.89-867.00] you do it in such a way that really helps you find the beauty of your body,
[867.14-868.16] the beauty of your vessel,
[868.26-872.43] the beauty of some of your experiences,
[872.49-875.09] but also getting to still see the ugliness of them.
[877.47-877.87] In itself,
[877.93-880.36] that has its own kind of awe.
[882.29-884.32] That was definitely more than like two sentences.
[885.20-886.44] But I think that what I might maybe,
[886.60-887.18] I might write out,
[887.20-889.34] because I feel like when I talk I'm much lengthier,
[889.38-890.64] but when I write I'm more concise.
[890.68-891.92] So I'll try to work on that at some point.
[894.56-895.01] But yeah,
[896.11-897.03] well I'm almost to work now.
[898.31-898.61] And,
[900.09-900.15] ooh.
[902.14-902.76] like super humid.
[904.96-906.66] But yeah I hope this was helpful.
[907.21-908.69] Let me know if you need anything else.
[908.71-911.57] I might be able to like do something else in between my breaks or something like that.
[912.13-913.95] Because I'm working on two shifts today.
[915.77-920.01] But I hope this was more helpful than what we got on the train yesterday.
[920.85-922.21] But sending you love for your day.
[922.99-923.48] Alright bye.