whisper-base - https://twitter.com/rickygervais/status/1574081278236033024

whisper-base.txt

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I'm the best dancer on the corner midnight. 
I'm trying to get my courage up. 
There was this low love and dancer that had clumped downtown. 
I love to watch her do her stuff. 
Through the long, long nights she filled my sleep. 
I just love this man to that smoky bee. 
As someone just said, what a tune. 
Main street, Bob Steeker, classic. 
So, how are you? Where are you watching from? Dublin, you will another score, you're already telling me. 
Michigan. 
Hello. 
How are you? I'm good. 
Thanks for asking. 
I'm a good sender. 
I am. 
I'm a good sender. 
I'm Nackered. 
I'm Nackered. 
I did two gigs this week in a row. 
That worked for me out. 
Obviously, the main thing is my age. 
I started getting up earlier. 
I went from 9.30 to 7.30. 
After I do a gig, I try to relax. 
I don't drink anymore, but I drink it late. 
I work out myself though. 
I'm exhausted. 
I've got to do a gig that night. 
I played the Wicom Swam. 
I stayed at our place nearby. 
I played tennis, both days. 
So, two gigs, two games of tennis. 
I couldn't walk yesterday. 
But I refuse not to do it just because it hurts. 
I want to do it forever until I'm playing tennis in pain. 
Which probably isn't the right thing to do. 
What's the point in just not being in pain but not playing tennis? I take the life for next. 
I can make up all for life. 
You've got to take the pain for the pleasure. 
So, yeah, thanks for asking. 
Someone said that was your Sunday. 
Right, questions. 
Too many. 
Thank you, but too many. 
We won't get to them all, but ha. 
Been warm in it. 
I got a little hoodie on which might be a mistake. 
I didn't want to show off my massive arms. 
Because I'm working out in case the government think that I'm sort of like some sort of illegal experiment. 
Look at those arms. 
They're not natural. 
He's been taking gorilla jeans. 
Look, it's on his last legs again. 
It's gone again. 
It's been mended twice. 
I don't know. 
I can go through it again. 
I did the workouts. 
Keena, who's your favourite philosopher and why? Oh my god. 
Well, there's so many amazing ones. 
I studied philosophy. 
I got a degree in philosophy amazingly. 
And it's not that I've forgotten it all. 
I think I've remembered it all, if you know what I mean. 
I've never been to the principles. 
But I can't remember who said what. 
I know a blob of philosophy. 
But I don't know. 
Doesn't matter. 
But I think my favourite was probably Bertrand Russell. 
Because he sort of crossed over to modern times and applied his philosophy to things that meant something to me. 
Not just principles of ethics and things like that. 
But specific things in our society. 
If that makes sense. 
Trend brain comedy. 
Facing my brain surgery, I was told to go to my happy place just before I was put under. 
What is your happy place? If you're asked, mine is at home with a family. 
That's the first thing that springs to mind. 
From six o'clock onwards. 
What I'm not doing this. 
Sitting on the couch. 
Glass of wine. 
Eight. 
Netflix series. 
Whatever we're watching at the time. 
The great thing about not just Netflix. 
But all sort of one demand stuff. 
You can try out a new thing or an old thing. 
If it's not good, you stop it. 
You don't waste your time. 
And then, you know, within a few goes. 
You find an amazing series for a couple of weeks. 
So that's definitely. 
And tennis. 
Whatever day I've had, whatever stress or work or work. 
If I'm playing tennis, I forget it all for an hour. 
It's get that ball back over the net. 
So yeah. 
The cat sitting on me again. 
She's just started doing that pickle. 
So yeah, that's a, that's, that's, that's good, isn't it? Sitting, sitting, laying down, watching Netflix. 
I've got a good recommendation actually. 
Another great series. 
Remind me, you can't remind me. 
Der Pass. 
It's a German. 
It was got the last one tonight of series two. 
And I know I'm going to be bereft. 
It's so good. 
It's so good. 
Oh. 
German serial killer cop. 
Complicated. 
Sort of morality. 
Tale. 
Acting, directing. 
The style is amazing. 
Beautiful. 
There you go. 
Astro Pictures. 
What is the most difficult aspect of writing a series that had to deal with such a heavy topic, like afterlife? Well, that, it was that. 
It was how can I make this funny? Because it was a comedy. 
But the subject matter and the pacing was obviously dramatic. 
So that was the challenge. 
I remember writing it, can people laugh when they know this man has lost everything and his wife died of cancer and he's suicidal? And the answer is yes. 
If you, if you do it right. 
But dealing with that, dealing with what happened to him as well was tricky. 
There was lots of ways to go. 
And I did feel a bit of a responsibility to not let him end it. 
So yeah. 
I won't give spoilers in case you want. 
I'm sure you've watched it. 
But yeah. 
I won't say anything. 
Gunner and Andy. 
Although this is from Andy because it's a photo of Andy and Andy says, I'm going to have a nap. 
Can you tell me a story to help me fall asleep? Did I mention I've got a degree in philosophy? A lot from like a top university in the world for philosophy. 
But I'm now going to tell a story to a dog. 
It was just having a nap. 
It's got to be a short one. 
Andy, I think I'm with Fabic Fable. 
That's short. 
I've tried to find this since. 
I heard it somewhere or read it somewhere. 
And it's great. 
It's so poignant. 
It's like a metaphor for life. 
And it's got animals in it, Andy. 
It's a lion. 
A big old lion is dying. 
He's old. 
And he's sort of collapsed in the jungle. 
And it's the last moment of his life. 
And all the animals that were scared of him throughout his life as he rained, as king of the jungle, they gathered round. 
All the deer and the squirrels and the badgers and the raccoons. 
They all came out and they were laughing. 
They were going, ha ha. 
Not so tough now, I had. 
And they were running up and touching them around the way. 
And they all giggling and laughing. 
And with his last breath, he just went. 
But at least I was a lion once. 
I just think that is the most beautiful story ever. 
I think it's amazing. 
So yeah, Andy's asleep now. 
No meat peat. 
My eyes are stinging again, aren't they? Because I was up to the bubble bath. 
I never learn. 
I never learn. 
I'm trying to read that. 
I should have, I wonder how bad my eyes are now. 
Because when I tested them last time, about five years ago, I couldn't read the bottom line of the eye chart, right? I struggled with the second one. 
So I don't know what it is now. 
But in every day now, I think I've got perfect eyesight. 
I haven't. 
But nothing bothers me, do you know what I mean? But after a bubble bath, and I'm tired, what is this? It's like a therapy session for me, isn't it? Just whining about, oh my air wants. 
It's really a no people say, oh, I used to go, I'm fine. 
But now I tell them. 
Oh, sweating as well. 
I've got to hot bath. 
I've got a willy on. 
Right. 
No meat peat. 
If you were invited on a trip to the moon, would you go now? Why? No. 
It's too far. 
It's too dangerous. 
I mean, you're helpless. 
You know, what I do if something went wrong. 
There's nothing to see, is there? I've went to the moon. 
Did you? Right. 
So? I'm not putting down the people that are amazing. 
It's amazing that we can get those incredible humans. 
You don't get me wrong. 
It's not for me though. 
I talk about this in Armageddon, the space travel, which is going well. 
Thanks for asking. 
Last few warm-ups, and then the actual, the first real one, I think, is in November. 
Yeah. 
It's really getting there. 
It's my favourite one so far. 
Claire, what's your favourite season and why? I like now. 
Listen, there's great bits in all of them, and I like the change. 
I like seasons full-stop. 
I like a depressing winter. 
I can get too much, can't I? A long, cold rainy January in February. 
I go, oh, why can't we sort this weather out? You can't win, though. 
You go, oh, it's almost too early. 
But I really like this late 65 degrees. 
Sunny 65 degrees leaves falling. 
This is just about perfect for me. 
So late summer early autumn, I'd say. 
Rachel, I would like to know what's the worst food you've got served as a kid. 
Mime was Finder's crispy pancakes. 
Good plug there, innit? I'm not going to get sponsored by them, man. 
I thought Mum had given me cardboard parcels. 
What's the worst food? I'm sorry, I'm too hot. 
Well, my Mum used to sort of do it to order, really. 
I was never a time when there wasn't like... 
I had a fridge baked goods in the, like the pantry. 
There was always cakes that she made. 
She would make them on a Sunday. 
Everything on a Sunday. 
And the bath would be like full of cold water. 
And she'd have trifles set in and put the implant on. 
And then just cakes, she'd do it all. 
And they'd last us the week. 
So there was always cakes, always cheese in the big blocks of cheese. 
And then she'd say, I had a few days, it was still as a fry going. 
So I had like kid's food when they had a fry wanted. 
I think she gave up. 
I'm saying I'd eat one brussel. 
So yeah, I don't think I ever... 
If I didn't like summer, I wouldn't eat it. 
She tried everything. 
It was the worst thing. 
The worst thing she'd went with me. 
Well in my head now it'd be me, the thought of that, but not at the time. 
But yeah, I remember I was always a bit of a scream-ish. 
I know. 
Me. 
Yeah, it would be that. 
Anything like, when I ate me, anything like, if I saw a bang or a bit of fat, so I'm like, oh fuck. 
I choose to prepare things from scratch as well. 
So I saw the like, the thrown away the chicken giblets. 
It sounds like I was brought up in the war, isn't it? Right, Doris, would you consider a serious acting role? I think we'd make a fabulous serial killer like in Depass. 
I would, but I don't take any role. 
I always think I'm not in charge here. 
I'm not in charge. 
I'll do a cameo. 
That's what I should pat out to casting directors and directors. 
If you're working in England, right, near London, or a place near a five-star hotel, I'll do a couple of days on it. 
But I can't do things. 
Most of what I don't want to do, half of what I don't want to do, half what I don't want to travel. 
Half of them they're too long, half what I'm doing, something. 
So it just now is down. 
The chances of me doing something that isn't my own thing. 
Like Netflix of all my next series. 
I'll go right down to two things. 
But I'm loving stand-up so much because I do it when I want. 
So unless someone calls me and says, listen, we're shooting down the road. 
It's one day's filming. 
And you have to come in, be a serial killer. 
Chop off a fight, body. 
Be a member of my four. 
Yeah. 
I'll do it. 
Million dollars. 
Otherwise, I'm on the couch. 
Leslie, in your opinion, your work so far, including Armageddon. 
I know it's hard to choose. 
Which moments have been one, your proudest, two, your most emotional, three-funniest, four-gave-you-the-best buzz? Proudest moment. 
I think Derek, doing Derek, because even before people had seen it, they were already saying you shouldn't be doing this. 
This is crazy. 
This is the terrible idea. 
So I'm proud of that. 
I'm proud of not taking their advice. 
I mean, that could be bad. 
If someone says to me, oh, you can't do that. 
I take that as a challenge. 
That doesn't break my spirit or worry about it. 
I did that's good advice. 
I just think, well, I want my point. 
So, it could be terrible. 
It could be terrible advice. 
That excites me. 
Someone says, you can't do that. 
I go, oh, brilliant. 
Let's have a go. 
So Derek, I think, most emotional, the dog seen in Derek, and a couple of times in afterlife, I think a couple of things on the bench with, you know, if you will. 
And with my wife on the computer, there's one bit. 
I think the end of two, I think, is pretty, that was emotional. 
I think dog in Derek would be number one, then about three or four scenes in afterlife. 
Funniest? Derek in the caravan. 
I mean, lots of things with David O'Neill are impossible. 
But I thought I was going to burst a lung with that scene that was cut. 
With the Derek and Derek and Keir showing Derek round caravan talking about getting Janissing. 
It's she which was reversing, I understand, a bloody chance. 
I just impossible. 
And that outtake with Rattie and the Nance. 
Even though I knew what was coming half the time, it's just so ridiculous. 
It's when you become aware of how ridiculous it is, how ridiculous this is to be feeling with this. 
And that you're getting paid for it. 
And it's going to go on the tele. 
I think of all the people watching it going, why is this funny? That really, really makes me laugh. 
So, just say to her, after I go for the people who like it, but I also do the people who go, I don't know, how did this get on telly? That really, really excites me. 
Gave you the best buzz. 
Lots of things really, when you're nail a scene, the Golden Globes, probably the last Golden Globes. 
And I can't remember if that was the time. 
I was excited to do it. 
I sort of knew. 
I knew it was, if I did it well, I knew it was good, if you know what I mean. 
And then after, I think doing that last, the last time I did it, that monologue in front of all those people. 
It might be that. 
Bella, thirsty, stingy eyes, hot, tired. 
Just whining, just winging. 
No, no. 
Bella, one time I found a really good stick, but I chewed it too hard, then it broke in half, which was disappointing until they realised that I had two really good sticks. 
That's great. 
Well, I'm grateful I lost something, Bella. 
I often think about Bella when I find a good stick. 
I always walk with a stick now, just in case I meet a dog who likes it. 
There's one dog in particular called Adam, who when he comes around the corner, he sees the stick. 
He runs over for the stick. 
That makes my day. 
He's happy. 
He runs a little bit faster when he sees I've got a stick. 
That makes my day, which is weird, isn't it? What's the best buy one, get one free offer you've ever taken advantage of? You used to do loads, when we had no money, sometimes they were like, in a, it was a safe way. 
At the end of the day, they'd sometimes do, and I'll price up two for one. 
Also, the Sunday before a bank holiday, when they weren't open, they didn't used to be open. 
We used to get there and just try and get as much stuff as we could. 
Two big pies for £3 or so. 
We were in a bar once, LA, and it was happy hour, but we were eating. 
There was £2 for one. 
So we thought, brilliant. 
Half price. 
So we went in, and I went, no, you've got to have two each. 
Why can't I just order two for me and two for the note? So me and Jane had to eat four massive meals. 
So there's no advantage there. 
That's no advantage, because I didn't want that. 
I was thinking, is there a homeless person up in the given one, two? So we just sort of wasted it. 
That's mad. 
Two for one. 
But you don't want the other one. 
And you've got to eat it now. 
It's not like there's no advantage in it. 
You can't take it home with plate of fucking burger and chips. 
So yeah, when supermarket she used to mark stuff down. 
Good question, Bella. 
Philly Anne. 
I know you're a good artist, and she's posted a picture of a painting of mine, which is pretty good, but that's rare. 
I'm not a good artist. 
It's rare. 
It's not, it annoys me that I can't do what I want, but then sometimes I find it, and I go, oh, that's, oh, don't touch a thing. 
What's your favourite thing to draw or paint? I sort of like, I like nearly, nearly abstract scapes. 
I like, I like skies and ground. 
Does that make sense? I wish I could paint properly. 
You get better, but I still feel it's a bit of luck. 
Not with great, not with real artists, but with me. 
Evening it comes out good. 
I know that's great, but it seemed like a paint like a cat. 
Rob, when the money started rolling in, did you ever buy yourself a go-cart and you used to wear your dad's crock for a wheelbarrow? Do you know what? I'd rather have a wheelbarrow now. 
It was right. 
In a way, wasn't it? Definitely rather have a wheelbarrow now. 
Do you ever do that? Like, you go to a hardware store. 
I have this store. 
I go, I wish I needed someone else. 
What's that? What sort of ambition is that? I needed some of this stuff. 
I want a sort of an apocalyptic bunker with all the stuff I have. 
You know, just drawers of batteries and goth a tape. 
Blue. 
Wire. 
Wires. 
Ah. 
Now I'm holding out for a drone bike. 
It's not on the market yet, but it's like a mountain bike. 
And it's got the drone. 
It's not like three or four propellers. 
It are. 
I showed Jane things at that. 
There's just jetpack, the globe going around. 
I go look at that. 
Jane goes dead. 
That's what she just goes dead. 
She's got a point. 
Right. 
Brenda and Ziggy. 
You love New York and over house there. 
But is there another place in the world that you think, yeah, that'll be the place for me, Jane and Pickle? Out to Dan. 
We've even looked at some of the boats. 
That'll be amazing, wouldn't it? Amsterdam, Copenhagen. 
Yeah. 
I think Europe. 
I think probably Europe. 
Yeah, one of those is at New York Amsterdam. 
London, New York, Amsterdam. 
Welsh Felix. 
I just wanted to wish Chery and Leopold happy birthday tomorrow. 
Happy birthday, Chery and Leopold. 
Beth, are you going to do a new series? Loved After Life. 
Well, yeah. 
Not yet. 
Once I'm touring, then I can start thinking about the next. 
Once Armageddon is absolutely flying. 
I don't have to think about it again if you know what I mean. 
It's sort of like you just do it. 
Like you're in a play that night and you've got your days free. 
So I will, yeah, I will. 
Sarah, are there any places, countries that you haven't toured that you really want to? Well, I'd like to see everywhere. 
I'd like to see the whole world. 
It's just like packing a bag, getting a ticket. 
Yeah, I'd love to. 
I'd love to tour Australia. 
But they're so far away, aren't they? It's such a long way away. 
I'd give myself two hours travel. 
That's my... 
That's as long as they ever. 
I've branched and was working on a thing that shot you up in the air, dispacing down to Sydney in two hours. 
I was going to let someone else try it first. 
My carry all, right? And then if it was safe, I was going to do it. 
Right, what a load of shit that was. 
Thanks for following. 
Is that picture blurred or is my eyesight going? Oh, God. 
Yeah, be nice to animals. 
Vote for afterlife at the National TV Awards. 
What else? Yeah, I look out for tickets. 
I might come to your town one day. 
I'll be drone bike. 
Tattie bye everyone. 
Tattie bye.