Grey Leno Interviews

mr pencil.md

Grey Leno: Welcome back to "The Grey Leno Show"! We have a very special guest today. Please welcome, the one and only, Mr. Pencil!

Mr. Pencil enters the stage, looking like a regular pencil with a smiley face on the eraser.

Audience: confused silence

Grey Leno: So, Mr. Pencil, tell us, what's it like being a pencil?

Mr. Pencil stares blankly

Audience: groans

Grey Leno: Do you ever get tired of being sharpened all the time?

Mr. Pencil continues to stare blankly

Grey Leno: Oh, I know! Do you have any famous relatives, like Penelope Pen or Mark Marker?

Grey starts to vomit, audience cheers

Grey Leno: wiping his mouth Sorry about that folks, I had some bad sushi for lunch.

Mr. Pencil still staring blankly

Grey Leno: Hey, I have an idea! Let's play a game. I'll say a word and you draw a picture of it, okay?

Mr. Pencil continues to stare blankly

Grey Leno: Alright, first word is...elephant!

Mr. Pencil doesn't move

Audience: boos

Grey Leno: Okay, okay, how about...a tree?

Mr. Pencil still doesn't move

Grey Leno: Well, this is going great. Let's take a quick break and when we come back, we'll have our next guest, a talking tomato!

Grey collapses like a ragdoll and slithers off the stage

Audience: mixed reactions

mr tree.md

Grey Leno: "Welcome back to the Grey Leno Show! We have a very special guest with us today. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one, the only, the Human Pretzel!"

A man with contorted limbs and twisted joints walks out on stage, struggling to move

Grey Leno: "Wow, you really are twisted up like a pretzel! How do you do it?"

Human Pretzel: silently contorts his body even further

Grey Leno: "Incredible! Now, I heard that you can fit into a small box. Is that true?"

Human Pretzel: nods

Grey Leno: "Well, let's bring out the box and see if you can fit in it!"

A box is brought out, barely big enough to hold a small cat. The Human Pretzel contorts his body and miraculously squeezes into the box

Grey Leno: "Unbelievable! I can't even imagine how you do it. Now, can you do the opposite and stretch your limbs out like a rubber band?"

Human Pretzel: attempts to stretch his arms out but only manages to contort them further

Grey Leno: "Haha, that's amazing! You're like a human slinky! I gotta say, I'm feeling a little queasy from all the twisting and contorting. vomits into a bucket But don't worry, folks, that won't stop the show!"

Grey collapses onto the floor and slithers around like a ragdoll

Grey Leno: "Alright, alright, I'm back! Our next guest is a sentient tree!"

A tree with a face carved into the bark walks out on stage

Grey Leno: "So, Mr. Tree, what's it like being a tree? Do you ever get bored just standing there all day?"

Tree: silently sways in the wind

Grey Leno: "I guess that's a yes! Now, can you give us a little tree dance?"

The tree sways its branches back and forth in a slow, rhythmic motion

Grey Leno: "That's beautiful! You know, I always say that trees are nature's dancers. vomits again Whoops, sorry about that! But seriously, folks, this show just keeps getting better and better!"

Grey collapses onto the floor once again and slithers off stage, as the tree sways to a soft tune

peanut butter.md

(The audience cheers as Grey Leno enters the stage, wearing a bright orange suit and a neon green tie. He stands in front of his desk, looking out to the audience.)

Grey Leno: Welcome back to The Grey Leno Show! Tonight, we have some very special guests joining us. First up, we have a sentient jar of peanut butter. (The audience looks confused as a jar of peanut butter rolls onto the stage) Hey there, Peanut Butter. How are ya?

Peanut Butter: (silently sits on the desk)

Grey Leno: (looks at Peanut Butter) So, I hear you're quite the spread. (laughs)

(Peanut Butter remains silent and unmoving.)

Grey Leno: (suddenly slumps over and collapses onto the floor, his limbs splaying out) Oh, sorry about that. Just needed a little nap.

(Peanut Butter remains motionless as Grey sits back up.)

Grey Leno: So, Peanut Butter, I heard you're running for president. What's your platform?

(Peanut Butter remains still, no response.)

Grey Leno: (vomits onto his desk) Oops, sorry about that folks. Peanut Butter, you look like you're melting. Do you need a napkin?

(Peanut Butter still remains motionless.)

Grey Leno: (stands up and starts to dance around the desk) Peanut Butter, do you like to boogie?

(Peanut Butter still remains motionless.)

Grey Leno: (suddenly slumps over and collapses onto the floor again, his limbs splaying out) Oh, sorry, just needed another little nap. (He slithers on the floor for a few moments before standing back up) Well, it looks like Peanut Butter is a bit of a tough nut to crack. Let's bring out our next guest. (The audience looks even more confused as a potted plant is wheeled onto the stage) And here we have...uh, what's your name, Plant?

Plant: (silently sits on the desk)

Grey Leno: (looks at the Plant) Oh, I see you're a bit shy. Don't worry, we won't bite. (laughs)

(The Plant remains motionless.)

Grey Leno: (starts to sweat profusely and slumps over, collapsing onto the floor again) Oh, sorry, folks. Just got a little dizzy. (He slithers on the floor again before standing up) Well, it looks like we'll have to wrap up this episode of The Grey Leno Show. Thanks for joining us, Peanut Butter and Plant. Maybe next time we'll have more luck getting you to talk. (The audience applauds as Grey waves and vomits onto the desk once more before the show ends.)