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5e wild magic goose

Player character race: Angry Goose

Traits

Your angry goose character has a number of traits.

Ability Score Increase

+2 Charisma, +1 Dexterity

Age

Geese reach adulthood at age 2 and can live for 20 years.

Alignment

Geese are typically allied with chaos.

Size

Small

Speed

Walk 10 feet, Fly 50 feet, Swim 30 Feet.

You're a Goose

You do not have hands, but you can manipulate things with your beak. You have a natural bite attack that deals 1d3 damage.

Geese are Mean!

You are proficient in intimidation.

Migratory

You have advantage on constitution checks when making a forced march.

Alternate Form

As an action you can transform into a specific small or medium humanoid creature. Your alternate form has all your class abilities, your same ability scores and proficiencies. It has a walk speed of 30 feet, two hands and a mouth that can talk. It also has a slightly goosey look about it. This transformation can last up to an hour (though you can dismiss it as a bonus action.) You regain the use of this ability whenever you complete a short or long rest.

Speaking common

This Wild Magic goose can speak common, but he must make a charisma check to do so. Consult the following table:

Charisma check How talky?
<= 5 Honks frantically. He can’t try to talk again for one hour
6-10 Can speak 1d3 words and can spend HP to say more words on a one-to-one exchange.
11-15 1d14 words. Every other word must be a honk.
16-20 1d5 sentences. Smurf rules apply, but honking instead of saying "smurf"
20+ Can talk as normally as he wants for a scene.

Wild magic table

roll d20 to determine extreme/moderate/nuisance, then roll d100 to determine row

Roll 1-3 (Extreme) 4-9 (Moderate) 10-20 (Nuisance)
1 A fireball explodes with you at the center. You and each creature within 20 feet of you who must make a Dexterity saving throw using your spell save DC, taking 5d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. For the next day, your skin tone (or feather color) changes color every 30 minutes, cycling through the colors of the rainbow. A puddle of pond scum appears on the ground below you, with a 10-foot radius. Anyone within it must make a Dexterity check at your spell save DC or fall prone.
2 You recover all your expended spell slots. You are confused for 1 minute, as though you were affected by the confusion spell. You levitate three feet off the ground for 1 minute.
3 You lose the ability to hear for 1 day. Your Strength is increased by 2 for 1 day. You gain detect magic with a range of 30 feet for 1 minute.
4 Each creature within 30 feet of you takes 1d10 necrotic damage. You regain hit points equal to the sum of damage dealt. A third eye appears in your forehead, giving you advantage on sight-based Wisdom (Perception) checks for 1 minute. You make no sounds for 1 minute and you gain advantage on any Dexterity (Stealth) checks.
5 You teleport to an alternate plane, then return to the location where you started after 1 minute. Any damage-dealing spell you cast within the next minute does max damage. You grow a tiny evil goatee and red devil horns, which remain for one hour.
6 You transform into a large empty barrel for 1 minute, during which time you are considered petrified. For the next minute, you can teleport up to 20 feet as part of your movement on each of your turns. You can't speak for 1 minute. When you try, pink bubbles float out of your mouth.
7 You are at the center of a darkness spell for 1 minute. You become intoxicated for 2d6 hours. You are immune to intoxication for the next 5d6 days.
8 You are frightened by the nearest creature until the end of your next turn. Your Intelligence is decreased by 2 for 1 day. You recover your lowest-level expended spell slot.
9 You are resistant to all damage types for 1 minute. Your Wisdom is increased by 2 for 1 day. For the next minute, you must shout when you speak.
10 A random creature within 60 feet of you is poisoned for 1d4 hours. For 1 minute, any flammable item you touch, that you aren't already wearing or carrying, bursts into flame. Illusory butterflies and flower petals flutter in the air around you in a 10-foot radius for 1 minute.
11 Make a Wisdom saving throw against your own spell save DC. If you fail, you are polymorphed into a skunk for 1 minute. Plants grow around you and you are restrained for 1 minute. You cast mirror image on yourself, which lasts for 1 minute and does not require concentration.
12 Up to three creatures you choose within 30 feet of you take 4d10 lightning damage. A random creature within 30 feet of you gains a flying speed equal to its walking speed for 1 minute. You are surrounded by faint, ethereal music for 1 minute.
13 You immediately gain 20 temporary hit points. You may immediately take 1 additional action. You regain all expended sorcery points.
14 You teleport up to 60 feet to an unoccupied space that you can see. If you fall within the next day, you automatically have the benefit of the feather fall spell. Your movements sound like a giant, well-armored creature for the next minute.
15 You are the center of a silence spell for 1 minute. You recover 1 expended spell slot of your choice. Your feathers all fall out, but grow back within 1 day.
16 You are vulnerable to fiends for 1 hour. Such creatures gain advantage on attack rolls made against you. Any damage-dealing spell you cast within 1 minute does minimum damage. You gain the ability to speak one additional language of your choice for 1 hour.
17 For the next day, any time you make an ability check, roll 1d6 and subtract the result. You have are surrounded by a spectral shield for 1 minute, giving you a +2 bonus to your AC and immunity to magic missile. You are invisible for 1 minute.
18 For any spell that requires a saving throw you cast within the next minute, the target gains advantage. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to piercing damage for 1 minute. Your eyes permanently change color. If they are a blue or grey shade, they turn dark brown, or vice versa. A spell such as remove curse can end this effect.
19 The next single target spell you cast within the next minute must target one additional target. For 1 minute, you gain resistance to nonmagical bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage. The sounds of a small woodland pond at sunset surround you for 1 minute, during which time you automatically fail any Stealth checks.
20 A demon that looks exactly like you, but red and with devil horns and an evil goatee, with a CR equal to your level, appears next you. Make a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. If you make it, the demon is subservient, otherwise, it is hostile. The demon, if not banished or defeated, vanishes after 1 day. You are protected from Elementals for 1 hour. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. You feel the incredible urge to relieve yourself. Until you do, your Strength and Intelligence are reduced by 1. If you don't relieve yourself in the next 2 minutes, the above effects are removed, but your Charisma score is reduced by 4 for 1 hour, because you have messed yourself.
21 For the next minute, every creature within 60 feet of you that hears you speak only hears insults as if you are casting vicious mockery at first level. For the next minute, one creature of your choice gets a -2 penalty to its AC, attack rolls, and damage rolls. The area around you grows dark, and beautiful fireflies float and dance around your head for 1 minute, delighting and distracting you. You must make a Constitution saving throw against your own spell save DC to cast any spell.
22 For the next day, you have advantage on the next 2d6 rolls you make where you don't already have advantage. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to bludgeoning damage for 1 minute. You are surrounded by the faint, offensive odor of pond scum for 1 minute. You gain disadvantage on all Charisma checks.
23 You are protected from Aberrations for 1 day. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they save a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. You emanate light in a 30-foot radius for 1 minute. Any creature within 5 feet of you that can see is blinded until the end of its next. For the next minute, all spells with a casting time of 1 action or 1 bonus action require 2 consecutive actions to cast.
24 For 1 minute, a duplicate of yourself appears in the nearest open space which can take actions independently, and goes on the same Initiative as you. The DM controls this duplicate. You take any damage it takes, gain any HP it heals, and lose any spell slots or sorcery points it uses. For the next hour, you gain advantage on Charisma checks when dealing with any creature wearing black, but disadvantage if they are wearing white. If they are wearing both, this doesn't apply. You have the irresistible urge to scratch an itch in the middle your back, just out of reach, for 1 minute. If you don't scratch it using a back scratcher or some similar device, you must succeed a Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC to cast a spell.
25 You honk extremely loudly. All creatures within 15 feet take 2d8 thunder damage and must make a Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC or be deafened for 1 minute. You are protected from Plants for 1 hour. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. You have a momentary vision of your own death. If you fail a Wisdom saving roll at your spell DC, you are frightened for 1 minute.
26 All creatures within 60 feet of you regain 2d8 hit points. Your Intelligence is increased by 2 for 1 day. Your Charisma is increased by 2 for 1 minute.
27 The clock turns back, and you are transformed into a goose egg that's just about to hatch. Over the next day you will grow back to your current age. For the next hour, you have advantage on the next roll you make where you don't already have advantage. Over the next minute, all plants within 20 feet of you grow as if affected by the plant growth spell when cast as an action.
28 You are immune to disease for 1 week. You gain a +2 bonus to your AC for 1 minute. Your eyes glow red for 1 minute.
29 You immediately drop to 1 hit point. For the next minute, you are in the Border Ethereal near the location you were last in. Your Constitution is increased by 2 for 1 minute.
30 Make a Wisdom saving throw against your own spell save DC. If you fail, you are transformed into an animated toy duck on wheels for 1 minute. For this period, you are considered petrified. For the next minute, you gain resistance to thunder and force damage. You add your proficiency bonus to all Charisma checks for the next hour, if you don't already add it.
31 You are protected from Beasts for 1 day. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they save a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. An imp appears within 30 feet of you. Make a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. If you succeed it, the imp is subservient, otherwise, it is hostile. The imp, if not banished or defeated, vanishes after 1 day. Your spell components seem to have been rearranged. During the next hour, you must make an Intelligence check against your spell save DC to cast any spell that requires a material component.
32 You transform into a stuffed toy resembling yourself for 1 minute, during which time you are considered petrified. For the next minute, you gain resistance to fire and cold damage. For the next minute, you have advantage on the next roll you make where you don't already have advantage.
33 You stand at the center a circular wall of fire with a radius of 15 feet. Any creature in any of the spaces covered by this fire must make a Dexterity saving throw against your spell DC or take 5d8 fire damage. The wall of fire remains for 1 minute. For the next hour, you gain advantage on Charisma checks when dealing with any creature wearing red, but disadvantage if they are wearing green. If they are wearing both, this doesn't apply. Every creature within 15 feet of you takes 1 necrotic damage. Add the amount of damage dealt to your hit points, adding temporary HP if necessary.
34 Choose 1 permanent or triggered effect that has happened to you or somebody else that you’ve received from this chart and remove it, even if it was beneficial. If there are none, choose one and apply it to a creature you can see. You gain the service of an arcane eye for 1 minute that does not require concentration. A magic mouth appears on a nearby wall or flat surface. When you speak, your voice comes from the magic mouth. This lasts for 1 minute.
35 You are vulnerable to Beasts for 1 hour. Such creatures gain advantage when attacking you. You lose the ability to smell for 1 day. You can hear exceptionally well for 1 minute, gaining advantage for all Perception checks related to sound.
36 You permanently lose the ability to smell. This sense can be restored with a spell that removes curses such as remove curse. You gain a -2 penalty to your AC for 1 minute. You lose the ability to smell for 1 hour.
37 You are vulnerable to Celestials for 1 hour. Such creatures gain advantage when attacking you. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to necrotic damage for 1 minute. For the next day, you have a pronounced lisp.
38 Make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC. If you fail, you are transformed into a cat for 1 minute, as if by a polymorph spell. You become invisible and silent for 1 minute. A gentle gust of wind blows outward from you. All creatures within 40 feet of you can feel it, but it otherwise does nothing.
39 You are vulnerable to Plants for 1 hour. Such creatures gain advantage when attacking you. Your Dexterity is increased by 2 for 1 day. Your Dexterity is increased by 2 for 1 minute.
40 You gain the service of an arcane eye for 1 hour that does not require concentration. You can detect the thoughts of 1 creature you can see within 30 feet of you for 1 minute. You immediately take 1d10 radiant damage.
41 You are protected from Celestials for 1 day. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. For the next minute, all melee attacks you make with a non-magical weapon gain a +1 bonus to hit and to damage, and are considered magical for the purpose of overcoming resistances. One randomly-chosen non-magical item in your possession that weighs 1 pound or less vanishes and is forever gone.
42 You transform into a medium-sized potted plant for 1 minute, during which time you are considered petrified. Your Strength is decreased by 2 for 1 hour. Your Wisdom is increased by 2 for 1 minute.
43 3d6 random gems appear near you, worth 50gp each. You gain freedom of movement for 1 day. You immediately gain 10 temporary hit points.
44 All allies within 20 feet of you gain a +2 bonus to attack and damage rolls on any melee weapon attack they make within the next minute. Your Dexterity is decreased by 2 for 1 hour. 3d6 silver pieces appear near you.
45 For 2d6 days, your beak glows bright orange, even in the dark. You have disadvantage on Stealth checks and anyone trying to perceive you has advantage on their Perception check. You are affected by a faerie fire spell for 1 minute. You automatically fail the saving throw. You regain 5 hit points per round for 1 minute.
46 You stand at the center a circular wall of force with a radius of 15 feet. Any creature in any of the spaces covered by this wall must make a Dexterity saving throw against your spell DC or take 5d8 force damage. The wall remains for 1 minute. For 1 hour, all non-human creatures think you're cute. You automatically pass Charisma checks against them. For the next day, you gain the ability to cast pocket spa.
47 All creatures within 20 feet of you are knocked prone. 3d6 gold pieces appear near you. Your walking speed is increased by 30 feet for 1 minute.
48 You are vulnerable to Aberrations for 1 hour. Such creatures gain advantage when attacking you. For 2d6 hours, you have a faint pink glow. Anyone trying to perceive you has advantage on their Perception check. You gain proficiency on all Strength checks for the next hour, if you don’t already have it.
49 For the next day, you are in the Border Ethereal near the location you were last in. You gain the ability to breath water for 1 day. Your Intelligence is increased by 2 for 1 minute.
50 All allies within 20 feet of you gain a +2 bonus to attack and damage rolls on any ranged weapon attack they make within the next minute. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to slashing damage for 1 minute. One randomly-chosen non-magical item in your possession that weighs 1 pound or less is duplicated.
51 You are at the center of a 10-foot radius antimagic field that negates all magic equal to or less than your level for 1 hour and does not require concentration. For the next minute, light and darkness quickly alternate around you in a 30-foot radius, creating a strobe effect. Sight-based creatures gain a -1 penalty on attack rolls against you and Perception checks against you, and you gain a +1 bonus to Stealth checks. Mushrooms sprout around you in a 5-foot radius and vanish after 1 minute. If one is harvested and eaten within this time, the creature must make a Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC. On a failed save, it takes 5d6 poison damage. On successful one, it gains 5d6 temporary hit points.
52 Make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC. If you fail, you are transformed into a wolf for 1 minute, as if by a polymorph spell. All creatures within 20 feet of you must make a Strength saving throw against your spell save DC or be knocked prone. You can smell exceptionally well for 1 minute, gaining blindsight with a radius of 10 feet and advantage on all Perception checks related to odor.
53 You are protected from Elementals for one day. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. You are protected from Undead for one hour. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. Your feet sink into the ground, making you completely immobile for one minute. This has no effect if you were not standing on the ground when the spell was cast.
54 All of your tail feathers permanently fall out. Your flight speed is reduced by 10 feet. Only a spell such as remove curse can end this effect. For the next minute, you can pass through any solid, non-magical wall that is 6 or fewer inches thick. One random gem worth 100gp appears near you.
55 You permanently gain the ability to speak one new language of your choice. However, you lose the ability to speak one language you already know. Only a spell such as remove curse can end this effect. You are protected from Fiends for one hour. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma save against your spell save DC. For the next minute, you have double vision. This gives you disadvantage on ranged attacks (including spell attacks) and Perception checks involving sight.
56 A 30-foot cube hypnotic pattern appears with you at the center. All creatures within the pattern must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or fall asleep for 1 minute or until they take damage. You permanently gain one 1st-level spell slot but forget one cantrip that you already know. A spell such as remove curse can end this effect. You are surrounded by a faint, pleasant odor. You gain advantage on all Charisma checks you make within the next minute.
57 You permanently forget one cantrip. A spell such as remove curse can restore your memory. You immediately gain 15 temporary hit points. You lose proficiency on all skill checks for 1 minute.
58 You immediately take 2d10 psychic damage. All gold you are carrying is now silver. You gain freedom of movement for 1 minute.
59 You are vulnerable to Undead for 1 hour. Such creatures gain advantage when attacking you. For the next minute, you gain resistance to necrotic and radiant damage. You gain darkvision with a radius of 60 feet for 1 minute. If you already have darkvision, you lose it for 1 minute.
60 You transform into an iron statue of yourself for 1 minute, during which time you are considered petrified. You are at the center of a fog cloud spell which lasts for 1 minute. Approximately 100 gallons of water float weightlessly over your head and those within 10 feet of you, evenly distributed above everybody within the radius. You can choose to release it from weightlessness at any time, causing it to pour down. The water disappears after 1 minute.
61 You gain an additional spell slot of your highest level for 1 week. Your Charisma is increased by 2 for 1 day. You gain a +1 to your AC for one minute.
62 If you die within the next minute, you come back to life as if by the reincarnate spell. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to lightning damage for 1 minute. You fall victim to a horrible wing cramp, reducing your flight speed by 10 feet for 1 hour.
63 You permanently gain one spell slot of one level below your highest-level spell slot, but lose one 1st-level spell slot. A spell such as remove curse can end this effect. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to force damage for 1 minute. The next spell you cast within the next hour uses a spell slot of one level lower than what it normally requires. If the spell is a spell of 1st level, you still must expend a spell slot to cast it.
64 All creatures that can perceive you must make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC or be frightened of you. For the next minute, any creature you touch takes 2d6 lightning damage. For the next hour, you are unable to read as the letters all appeared jumbled.
65 You are vulnerable to Elementals for 1 hour. Such creatures gain advantage when attacking you. You gain blindsight with a radius of 60 feet for 1 minute. For a period of one day, you must speak in rhyme. If this rule you forget, 1d6 psychic time.
66 You are protected from Fey for 1 day. Such ceatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. You are surrounded by the noxious smell of a polluted creek for 1 minute. Anyone within 10 feet of you must make a Constitution saving throw or vomit. During the next hour, you may re-roll any one save, attack roll, or skill check. If you do, you must take the new roll’s result.
67 You gain the service of an arcane sword that does not require concentration until your next short or long rest. Your Charisma is decreased by 2 for 1 hour. Over the next 5 seconds, you grow proportionally until you gain 1d12 feet in height. You gradually return to your original size over the course of 1 day.
68 You permanently gain one cantrip. A spell such as remove curse can end this effect. You gain the service of a phantom steed for 1 day. The phantom steed manifests in the form of a skateboard. You immediately take 2d4 psychic damage.
69 All allies within 20 feet of you get gain a -2 penalty on attack and damage rolls for any melee attack they make in the next minute. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to acid damage for 1 minute. For the next hour, any time you make an ability check, roll 1d4 and subtract the result.
70 All allies within 20 feet of you heal up to 3d8 hit points. Your Wisdom is decreased by 2 for 1 hour. You gain the ability to speak Elemental for one hour.
71 You lose the ability to see for 1 day. During this time, you have the blinded condition. Your speed is increased by 10 feet for 1 day. You get gain a -1 penalty to your AC for 1 minute.
72 You gain the service of a phantom steed for 1 week. The phantom steed takes the form of a skateboard. You gain the ability to walk on water for 1 day. You gain the use of an unseen servant for 1 hour.
73 Make a Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC. If you fail, you are stunned for 1 minute. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to psychic damage for 1 minute. The next spell you cast within the hour uses a slot level one level higher than what it normally requires.
74 You transform into a stone statue of yourself for 1 minute, during which time you are considered petrified. One creature of your choice gets a +2 bonus to all attack rolls, damage rolls, and their armor class AC for 1 minute. A bad joke comes to mind and until you tell it (which takes an entire action), you suffer a Wisdom penalty of 1.
75 All creatures within 20 feet of you, including you, must make a Dexterity save against your spell save DC or be affected by a faerie fire spell. You lose proficiency in one randomly chosen skill, tool, or weapon type for 2d6 days. You hear a ringing in your ears for 1 minute. During this time, casting a spell that requires a verbal component requires a Constitution check against your spell save DC.
76 Permanently increase one ability score of your choice by 1 point. Permanently decrease a different ability score of your choice by 1 point. A spell such as remove curse can end this effect. All food and drink within 30 feet of you turns into worms, grub, aquatic grasses, cracked corn, berries, and sedges for the next day. Consuming this food deals 2d6 poison damage and causes the poisoned condition for 1 hour. You lose up to 1d6x5 pounds, maintaining a weight of at least 8oz. You gradually return to your original weight over the course of 1 day.
77 You sprout two adult human male arms from just below your wings for one day, and gain +2 dexterity and proficiency in one tool or weapon type you don’t already have for the duration. All silver you are carrying is now copper. Your feathers become filthy. Until you can change and/or clean your clothes, your Charisma is reduced by 1.
78 Make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC. If you fail, you are transformed into a giant spider for 1 minute, as if by the polymorph spell. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to fire damage for 1 minute. You gain proficiency in Wisdom checks for the next hour, if you don’t already have it.
79 Gain the sympathy effects of the antipathy/sympathy spell for 3d6 days. You lose proficiency in all skill rolls for 1d4 hours. You shrink 1d6 inches in height. You gradually return to your original height over the course of 1 day.
80 You are protected from Fiends for one day. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. Your AC increases to 20 for the next hour. Your skin permanently darkens as if you have a tan, or if you are already dark-skinned, your skin becomes one shade lighter. A spell such as remove curse can end this effect.
81 All allies within 20 feet of you gain a -2 penalty to attack and damage rolls for any ranged attack they make within the next minute. For the next hour, any time you make an ability check, roll 1d6 and subtract the result. For 1 minute, one creature of your choice within 30 feet of you gains a -1 penalty to attack rolls, damage rolls, and their AC.
82 For one minute, any spell with a casting time of 1 action can be cast as a bonus action. For the next minute, you gain resistance to poison and psychic damage. For the next hour, any time you make an ability check, roll 1d4 and add the result.
83 Make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC. If you fail, you are transformed into a giant rabbit inside a giant tophat for 1 minute, as if by the polymorph spell. You can feel free to leave the hat. You’re feeling lucky. For the next hour, any time you make an ability check, roll 1d6 and add the result. If you cast a spell with a saving throw within the next minute, the target has disadvantage on its saving throw.
84 You're feeling confident. The next time you cast a spell, do not roll on this chart. You immediately take 2d6 psychic damage. Your Strength is increased by 2 for 1 minute.
85 For the next day, you gain proficiency in all skills that you are not already proficient in. You gain proficiency in one skill of your choice that you're not already proficient in for one hour. One creature of your choice gains a +1 bonus to attack rolls, damage rolls, and its AC for 1 minute.
86 The next time you cast a spell, roll twice on this chart. Both effects will apply. Your Constitution is increased by 2 for 1 day. If you are hurt, you immediately heal 2d10 hit points.
87 You are vulnerable to Fey for 1 hour. Such creatures gain advantage when attacking you. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to thunder damage for 1 minute. You gain proficiency on all Intelligence checks for the next hour, if you don’t already have it.
88 You transform into an empty wooden chest for 1 minute, during which time you are considered petrified. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to cold damage for 1 minute. The power of your magic is strong! For the next hour, any spell you cast automatically succeeds, and any targets that could make a save automatically fail them.
89 Gain the antipathy effects of the antipathy/sympathy spell for 3d6 days. You gain the ability to speak one language of your choice for 1 day. You gain 1d6 pounds. You gradually return to your original weight over the course of 1 day.
90 All creatures within 30 feet of you must make a Wisdom saving throw. Any creature immune to magical sleep automatically succeeds on its saving throw. Those that fail fall asleep for 1d6 minutes. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to radiant damage for 1 minute. You gain proficiency in all Dexterity checks for the next hour, if you don’t already have it.
91 You are protected from Plants for 1 day. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. You are protected from Celestials for 1 hour. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed a on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. For the next hour, you are cursed with street magic. Every time you try to speak, a stream of handkerchiefs issues from your beak. Any time you try to remove anything from your pack, instead of the desired item, you pull out a half bunch of roses. Any time you interact with a closed box or hat, it will contain either a dove or a rabbit.
92 All your allies within 20 feet of you gain a +2 bonus to their AC for 1 minute. For the next minute, you are unable to cast any spell that causes damage of any type. You gain the effects of the blur spell for 1 minute, which does not require concentration to maintain.
93 The next time you fall below 0 hit points within the next month, you automatically fail your first death saving throw. You gain spider climb for 1 minute, and it does not require concentration to maintain. For the next hour, you appear to others to be in clown makeup, complete with tiny orange wig.
94 You gain two spell slots at your second-highest level for 1 week. You immediately lose all unspent sorcery points and may not regain them until you have finished a long rest. You gain the service of a 2nd-level spiritual weapon for 1 minute.
95 For the next day, any time you make an ability check, roll 1d6 and add the result. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to poison damage for 1 minute. You get a cool pompadour hairstyle, tiny black leather jacket, and tiny raybans for the next day.
96 Make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC. If you fail, you are transformed into a sheep for 1 minute, as if by the polymorph spell. You gain the ability to understand all languages for 1 day. You gain proficiency in all Constitution checks for the next hour, if you don’t already have it.
97 Next time you cast a spell, roll three times on this table. All food and drink within 30 feet of you is purified. Every inanimate object that isn't being worn or carried within 40 feet of you becomes enshrouded with shadows for 1 minute. Enshrouded objects are considered heavily obscured.
98 You are protected from Undead for 1 day. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. You are protected from Aberrations for 1 hour. Such creatures cannot attack you or harm you unless they succeed on a Charisma savinng throw against your spell save DC. Your beak becomes sore for 1 hour. During this time, you must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw against your spell save DC to cast a spell with a somatic component.
99 You jump forward in time exactly 1 minute, for 1 minute. From the perspective of everyone else, you cease to exist during that time. All your clothing and equipment teleports to the nearest open space at least 15 feet from you that you can see. You feel extremely nauseated. Make a Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC. If you fail, you must spend your next action throwing up.
100 All spells you cast within the next minute automatically fail. Your Constitution is decreased by 2 for 1 hour. You immediately lose one unspent sorcery point.

The tale of Hank

Dragonflies dart through tall grasses and Queen Anne's Lace; bumblebees bump into the centers of sunflowers; a hedgehog trundles by. An idyllic meadow spreads out before us, beneath a cloudless blue sky.

If we walked along in the grasses here, eventually we would find a gurgling brook running along the side of a road. At one point it would be diverted under a small wooden bridge and into a ditch on the other side of the road, then to an irrigation well in the field beyond.

In the field, we'd see peasants harvesting barley, singing traditional (read: sexually themed) songs and telling tall tales (also sexually themed) as they swung their hand scythes. An oxdrawn cart full of barrels would rumble past us, over the little bridge, heading into the castle town.

In town, one- and two-storey wattle and thatch-roofed buildings would rebound with the bustle of the afternoon market. Chickens scratching at the dirt would cluck and scatter as we came into the main square, filled with tents and tables dealing in all manner of wool, woodcraft, fruit, vegetables, magical oddities, and unsavory sundries. Some tents' hawkers would loudly proclaim the quality and desirability of their wares, while some of the more discreet merchants, at the edges of the market, would keep a decidedly lower profile.

We would see that beyond the main square, the road would lead through the village to the castle gate, which would be watched, in theory, by two young guardsmen — though in all likelihood, we would find them chatting up young ladies out on errands rather than guarding much of anything.

If we walked to our left from here, we could see that the gate would be at the end of a long wooden bridge. A drawbridge, set over the castle's moat.

Strolling along the edge of the moat, within a few minutes we'd have left the chatter of the town behind, and would find ourselves once again at the edge of a grassy meadow. The water would lap happily at the embankment, as the chirp of frogs and the splashes of feeding carp echoed back to us off the thirty-foot-high stone walls of the castle beyond.

Above the castle wall, we would be able to see a high tower here. If we were to make ourselves comfortable here and while away the rest of the afternoon and evening, we would see that the windows in the castle would begin to flicker with candlelight towards sunset. As the evening wore on, we would hear drunken men singing harvest songs as they wobbled home from the tavern, and the sounds of laughter and lute drifting over the castle wall, as one by one the candles went out.

But not this one.

Relaxing here in the moonlight on the edge of the moat, we'd see that the window high atop this tower would remain lit throughout the night.

If we could magically project ourselves up through the air, over the moat, and alight on that windowsill, we would see a tall, thin man with shock-white hair in a braid down his back, a thick beard and moustache to match, and the other-worldly robes of a wizard, in deep blues and lavender, embroidered with golden constellations. This would be Adrilore the Wise, wizard of the realm. And this would be his workshop.

Rather than candles of braziers like we might find in other rooms in the castle, here we would see three floating balls of pure ethereal light hanging in the air just behind and above Adrilore, moving with his movements. Before him, some half dozen ancient tomes would bob and sway in midair.

On his work bench, we would see a small golden hammer and chisel, and a curious stone, about the size of an open-palmed human hand, with rounded corners and edges. It would seem jet black at first, but when caught just right by the light, we would be able to see flashes of a brilliant gold and translucent amber material coursing through the stone in irregular veins, almost as though it were yellow smoke billowing within the stone.

We would see Adrilore stop to wipe his face, then perch his thick, circular spectacles back on the bridge of his nose and resume his work. Carefully reading and comparing passages from various books, he would continue tapping a series of tiny, intricate runes into the stone.

If we felt so inclined, we might sit there and watch him at this task all night, as his calico cat lay curled beneath his stool and the pile of material carved from the stone grew. But just before dawn, we would need to move from Adrilore's window; because it's then, at the first crowing of the rooster, that he would wave a hand at his books, letting them gently fold themselves shut and settle into a pile on the bench; then he would snap his fingers, sending the floating balls of light back to the ethereal plane; and finally he would sweep the trimmings from his night's work into a basket, which he would dump out his window, giving the basket a little tap on the bottom.

As Adrilore drew the curtains and climbed into bed, we would see the tiny fragments of jet black and amber stone patter against the surface of the moat far below. Small fish, excited for breakfast but not particularly skilled in the art of discerning motes of rock from insects, would jump to eat the other-worldly rubbish, only to spit it back out and swim away in disappointment, or possibly embarrassment.

After a few moments, we would see a large domestic gander paddle by, nibbling on the long grasses that grow along the bottom of the moat, honking gently to himself about his own business (to wit: grasses, comma, the consumption thereof). Seeing the glint of the tiny stone shards, he would stop, craning his long white neck to the side so that one bright blue-green eye could closely examine the mystery flecks. Failing to discern pebbles from grain, he, too, would give the magical dross a go at breakfast; but lacking the exacting standards of a goldfish, he would happily swallow a cropful of magical refuse.

We would see the goose in question wade to the moat's edge, the ripples left in his wake faintly outlined with a golden glow. Once ashore, he would wiggle his tail and adjust his wings, shaking off a curiously golden-hued fine mist. He would proceed, beak down, nuzzling along the edge of the water for some choice roots, leaving golden footprints in the mud behind him.

"Honk," he would mutter to himself, considering his post-prandial plans for the morning. "Honk honk. And after that, I might go honk around the other side of the moat to see if honk honk honk."

He would stop, raise his head up in the air, and look from side to side.

"Who said that?" He would ask, and then wonder who had said that as well.

"My god," he would say, "I'm making animal noises. I've got to get a honk of myself. Maybe I'd best go take a nap."

If we followed this unlikely goose around town over the next few days, we would see that eating those occult clippings had wider ranging effects on him than just speaking some human.

Later that day, we would watch as a farmer caught the goose in his vegetable patch and angrily started to chase him around — only to stop dead in his tracks, bend down, pat the goose on the head, and say, "nice goose, there's a good friend. Thank you for visiting," as the goose resumed eating his snow peas. If we stuck around an hour or so after the goose had his fill and moved on, we'd see the farmer realize he'd been charmed somehow, and decide he might like to try roast goose sometime soon.

We might also watch in surprise as the goose made his way, quite undetected, into the market, and by some means that neither he nor we understood, summoned a pair of floating, transparent, ghostly hands and carefully carried a few handfuls of beans from a merchant's basket to a secluded spot behind a travelling tooth puller's tent.

We might not be surprised to find that after a few days of this, the goose would have settled into a new routine. In the mornings, he would sleep in, then sneak into one of the many small vegetable gardens around town to nibble on some delectable produce. In the afternoon, he would peruse the goods at the market, and entertain himself by throwing his voice to start fights between the villagers or picking pockets with his newfound magic hands. In the late afternoon, he would have a good swim, which is, admittedly, a holdover from his previous routine. Some things do not require adjustment.

We might be quite surprised, however (though not nearly as surprised as the goose himself would be), a few weeks later, when we saw him blink completely out of existence when trying to use some of his new magical powers.

We wouldn't see this part, but somewhere else, possibly even somewhen or somehow else, he would blink right back into existence, bobbing gently in the surf a few yards from the sand on a tropical beach, still holding aloft in his magical hands the small sack of coins he'd just extracted from a villager's belt.

"What the honk?" He would ask, rhetorically, dropping the sack and dismissing the hands. He would wade up to the shore and have a look around.

"Excuse me," he would ask of what appeared to be a large, bipedal turtle, "where am I, exactly? Do you know how to get back to the village from here?"

The tortle would slowly raise his eyebrows. "New here, eh?"

"Honk," the goose would reply, somewhat dejectedly.

"This is the Sea of Worlds," the tortle would continue. "We're just at the outskirts of the city of Leverage. I suppose you just flew in?"

"I suppose I did. Uh, thank you, sir."

"The name's Lenek. And what's your name, small bird friend?"

"Honk," the goose would reply, somewhat at a loss for how to answer in non-goose words.

"Hank, is it?"

"Yes," the goose would reply, "yes that will do. Call me Hank."

"Well, good luck, Hank," Lenek would say to him.

"Thanks," Hank would reply. "Which way did you say that city was?"

Lenek would point, and Hank would nod, then waddle off towards Leverage.

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