When I saw this topic bubble up over email and chat channels, I didn't think I had much to add. I, too, have done the ISP renegotiation song and dance many times, though this was usually because I was trying to manage what few pennies I had. (The struggling freelance life I used to lead before getting full-time work, and all that.)
But I remembered one resumé point I have that other Ars colleagues don't—previously working in a customer service phone farm. It was the only steady paying gig I could find straight out of college, and I learned a lot... about never wanting that kind of job again.
It did train me to be kinder and more direct in a phone-service world, at least. To that end, here are my tips so that you too might have a better time on the phone or in a text chat with an ISP agent.
- Know your leverage: Do you have other Internet options? It doesn't matter if they are hot garbage with upload speeds that would make NetZero blush. List them all politely and firmly in your call. The agent on the other end simply needs to know how you might leave, so that they can tell a manager why they offered you any plan that ranks higher than "cram it" in terms of value.
- Level with them: They're just an agent reading through a script with some severe limits on what they can say and do. Don't be afraid to cut to the chase in terms of asking what you can do, what information you can offer them, and so on, to speed them along to their next call. (Number of calls taken is a key metric in phone farms.)
- You don't have to take the bundle: And you don't have to lease the modem, or pay more for the installation, or anything that sounds stupid. If you're asked to swallow any bitter pills, respond with questions and kindness. "Is there anything you can do about that?" Repeat step one (politely) so that the agent can more easily say why you turned some garbage option down.
- They're freaking people: Ask how your rep is doing. Ask about where they live and what things are like there, whether in Missouri or Mumbai. They're stuck talking to angry people all day, and any humanity in your exchange will go a long way—but mostly in a karmic sense. Brownie points never turn into discounts. Keeping things by the book will get you a better deal than kissing ass. But opt for decency whenever you can. (I always make a point of ending good calls by telling any managers "listening to the call" what a nice experience I had. This sometimes elicits a very happy sound out of an agent.)