Horrible T-SQL hack to count columns without asking the system tables

Howmanycolumns.sql

-- how many columns in my table?
-- have to count null elements too
DECLARE @rowString AS VARCHAR(MAX)
DECLARE @StringToCount1 AS VARCHAR(100) = '</'
DECLARE @StringToCount2 AS VARCHAR(100) = '/>'
DECLARE @StringCount AS INT
DECLARE @ColCount AS INT
SELECT  @rowString =  (SELECT TOP 1 * FROM PE_CS_CUBE ORDER BY LASTUPDATED DESC FOR XML PATH, ELEMENTS XSINIL ) 
SET @StringCount = (LEN(@rowString) - LEN(REPLACE(@rowString, @StringToCount1,'')))/COALESCE(NULLIF(LEN(@StringToCount1), 0), 1)
	+ (LEN(@rowString) - LEN(REPLACE(@rowString, @StringToCount2,'')))/COALESCE(NULLIF(LEN(@StringToCount2), 0), 1)
--protect division from zero
SELECT  @rowString
SET @ColCount = @StringCount - 1
PRINT @ColCount

Thanks to this StackOverflow post
https://stackoverflow.com/questions/1860457/how-to-count-instances-of-character-in-sql-column