When I was younger i had a great friend, Little Johnny. He was a very good boy. He woke up every morning at six sharp and promptly had a shower, ate his breakfast, and brushed his teeth before either leaving for school, or starting a shift in his mother's bakery on the weekends.
On one particular day at school the teacher annouced that we were going to have no more than two weeks to write speeches, which we would then have to present in front of the rest of the class. Johnny was stumped. He had absolutely no idea about what he should write a speech about, and every day for the entire two weeks at school, he failed to put pen to paper for even a moment. The night before the presentation day however, Johnny had a revelation! "I am going to write my speech about 'green bananas'!" he thught. He stayed up all night writing a magnificent, insightful speech and by the time he was done he realised he had no time to sleep. Albeit a bit tired, Johnny set off to school, ready for his big day.
Upon arriving at class, the teacher took no time in calling Johnny up to present his speech first. She had noticed the increasingly nervous expression on his face over the preparation period and was ready to berate him for not being prepared. "What will you be talking about today, Johnny?" she asked, and Johnny faithfully replied "Today, I will be talking about 'green bananas'". "GREEN BANANAS!" the teacher exclaimed. "How dare you, you evil boy. You horrible, naughty, dirty boy. Go directly to the principal's office and tell her what you have done; you deserve to DIE."
Johnny was understandably a bit confused by the sudden animation of, and accompanying death threat from his teacher. He left class quickly and headed off to the principal's office without pause. When he got there the principal was busy working, apparently unaware of the situation. "Hello, Johnny. What can I do for you?" the principal asked. "Well, my teacher sent me here. I think I did something naughty." he replied. "Nonsense, Johnny. You're always such a good boy. What could you possibly have done to warrant such treatment?", "I don't know for sure, but I think it's because I wanted to do a speech about 'green bananas'." "GREEN BANANAS!" the principal exclaimed. "How dare you, you evil boy. You horrible, naughty, dirty boy. Leave the school now and NEVER come back; you deserve to DIE."
Johnny, having not slept the night before, was too tired to argue with the principal. He left the school without resistance and headed home. When he arrived, his mother was working in the garden and saw him enter the property. "Hello, Johnny. You're home early! What's going on?" she asked. "I'm not really sure why, but I got sent to the principal's office and she kicked me out of school. I didn't know what else to do, so I just came home." he replied. "Well, I woudn't expect that from you Johnny! You said you don't know why, but you have some idea what happened, right?" "It sounds crazy," he said, "but I think they are angry at be because I wanted to do a speech about 'green bananas'." "GREEN BANANAS!" his mother exclaimed. "How dare you, you evil boy. You horrible, naughty, dirty boy. I disown you, I never want to see you again; you deserve to DIE."
This was the tipping point for Johnny; tired and alone he started to cry. As he left his home, he had little faith in what the night would bring. And, as he looked for a place to stay he was approached by a local policewoman. "Hello, Johnny. What's going on? You shouldn't be walking around at night on your own. Let me take you home." "No point." Johnny said. "I got kicked oout of class, then school and then I got kicked out of home. I'm so confused, but I think it's all because I wanted to do a speech about 'green bananas'." "GREEN BANANAS!" the policewoman exclaimed. "How dare you, you evil boy. You horrible, naughty, dirty boy. You will burn for this, I'm taking you to jail with no trial; you deserve to DIE."
Johnny cried the entire first night in jail, and every night after that for twenty five years. When he finally thought he couldn't take it anymore, he was propositioned by his cellmate during dinner time "Look Johnny, tonight at midnight, I am going to escape. If you want, you can join me and my friends can set you up with a new life." Johnny accepted, finished his dinner and went back to his cell. At exactly midnight there was a huge crash, and the exterior wall to Johnny's cell was ripped from its foundations. Johnny started running, there were spotlights all over, and Johnny could hear gunshots and a helicopter. He lost track of his cellmate, but Johnny kept on running. He came across a quiet road and as he was crossing it SMACK! He was hit by a car. DEAD.
And so that is why I always ALWAYS, look both ways before crossing the road.