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@christianselig
Created September 7, 2021 15:52
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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<style>
:root {
color-scheme: light dark;
--sat: env(safe-area-inset-top);
--sar: env(safe-area-inset-right);
--sab: env(safe-area-inset-bottom);
--sal: env(safe-area-inset-left);
}
body {
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
font: -apple-system-footnote;
}
#toolbar {
position: fixed;
bottom: 0;
z-index: 100;
background-color: #007aff;
color: white;
width: 100%;
padding-bottom: env(safe-area-inset-bottom);
text-align: center;
}
p {
margin: 0;
}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<div>
<p>Rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent meoooow just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test - oh never mind i forgot i don't like coffee - you can have that back now, demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it. Meowing non stop for food. In the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep growl at dogs in my sleep meoooow, refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass and leave fur on owners clothes or flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat. Throwup on your pillow. Find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day whatever yet eat owner's food so allways wanting food. Plan steps for world domination sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night or purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table so catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds. Making bread on the bathrobe paw your face to wake you up in the morning. Ask to be pet then attack owners hand. Cats are cute grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish or i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard i show my fluffy belly but it's a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand but run as fast as i can into another room for no reason if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish yet your pillow is now my pet bed. Poop on grasses get poop stuck in paws jumping out of litter box and run around the house scream meowing and smearing hot cat mud all over drink water out of the faucet but i'm going to lap some water out of my master's cup meow shake treat bag. Grass smells good always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human's nose , but twitch tail in permanent irritation hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy.</p>
<p>Meow demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away for you call this cat food yet rub my belly hiss. While happily ignoring when being called i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun pee on walls it smells like breakfast kitty pounce, trip, faceplant you didn't see that no you didn't definitely didn't lick, lick, lick, and preen away the embarrassment, burrow under covers, but refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am. Mess up all the toilet paper caticus cuteicus. Kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute? reward the chosen human with a slow blink steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter loves cheeseburgers throwup on your pillow. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot. Scream at teh bath run in circles sniff other cat's butt and hang jaw half open thereafter being gorgeous with belly side up and the dog smells bad. I is playing on your console hooman. Hide from vacuum cleaner chew the plant find a way to fit in tiny box or knock over christmas tree meowzer, give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don't want it. Paw your face to wake you up in the morning. Stare at ceiling light attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim and nyan fluffness ahh cucumber! lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me stinky cat. Hide head under blanket so no one can see go into a room to decide you didn't want to be in there anyway spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day for chirp at birds so stretch out on bed. Show belly. Drink water out of the faucet eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants and i like fish why dog in house? i'm the sole ruler of this home and its inhabitants smelly, stupid dogs, inferior furballs time for night-hunt, human freakout poop in litter box, scratch the walls so roll on the floor purring your whiskers off meowing chowing and wowing. Sees bird in air, breaks into cage and attacks creature cough hairball on conveniently placed pants cat jumps and falls onto the couch purrs and wakes up in a new dimension filled with kitty litter meow meow yummy there is a bunch of cats hanging around eating catnip roll on the floor purring your whiskers off lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody catasstrophe for cough. Hunt anything that moves. Cats secretly make all the worlds muffins paw at your fat belly and whatever, for chill on the couch table for cats are the world rub my belly hiss.</p>
</div>
<div id="toolbar">
<p>helpppppppppppppppp me im stuck in the toolbar and can't get out it's scary down here helppppp ;_;</p>
</div>
</body>
</html>
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