Let cleverbot.io manage your Twitter DMs for you

cleverbot_twitter.js

var CONFIG = {
    BOT_NAME: ' ',
    TWITTER_API_KEYS: {
        consumer_key: ' ',
        consumer_secret: ' ',
        access_token: ' ',
        access_token_secret: ' ',
    },
    CLEVERBOTIO_API_USER: ' ',
    CLEVERBOTIO_API_KEY: ' ',
    CLEVERBOTIO_NICK: 'none',
    ONLY_USERS: ["*"], // List of users to send shit meme responses to. Default is ANY.
    getResponseTime: function(){
	    return Math.floor((Math.random() * 5) + 1) * 60000;
    }
};

var Twit = require('twit');
var cleverbot = require('cleverbot.io');

var T = new Twit(CONFIG.TWITTER_API_KEYS);
var stream = T.stream('user', {
    stringify_friend_ids: true
});

var bot = new cleverbot(CONFIG.CLEVERBOTIO_API_USER, CONFIG.CLEVERBOTIO_API_KEY);
if(CONFIG.CLEVERBOTIO_NICK !== 'none')
  bot.setNick(CONFIG.CLEVERBOTIO_NICK);

stream.on('direct_message', function(directMsg) {

    //Never reply to self.
    if (directMsg.direct_message.sender.screen_name == CONFIG.BOT_NAME)
        return;

    if(CONFIG.ONLY_USERS.indexOf('*') || CONFIG.ONLY_USERS.indexOf(directMsg.direct_message.sender.screen_name) && directMsg.direct_message.text.length > 0)
            setTimeout(function(){ getBotResponse(directMsg.direct_message.sender.screen_name, directMsg.direct_message.text, sendResponse)}, CONFIG.getResponseTime());
});

function getBotResponse(user, text, callback) {
	bot.ask(text, function (err, response) {
        if (err)
            console.info('SHITMEMEBOT_DEBUG: ' + JSON.stringify(err));

	  callback(user, response); 
	}.bind({user:user, text:text, callback:callback}));
}

function sendResponse(user, link) {
    var params = {
        screen_name: user,
        text: link
    };

    T.post('direct_messages/new', params, function(err, data, response) {
        if (err)
            console.info('SHITMEMEBOT_DEBUG: ' + JSON.stringify(err));
    });
}