Automatically reply to Twitter direct messages with terrible memes

shitmemes.js

var CONFIG = {
    BOT_NAME: ' ',
    TWITTER_API_KEYS: {
        consumer_key: ' ',
        consumer_secret: ' ',
        access_token: ' ',
        access_token_secret: ' ',
    },
    IMGUR_CLIENT_ID: ' ',
    GIPHY_API_KEY: 'dc6zaTOxFJmzC', // Giphy's default public API key, from their wiki
    ONLY_USERS: ["*"], // List of users to send shit meme responses to. Default is ANY.
    getResponseTime: function(){
	    return Math.floor((Math.random() * 7) + 1) * 60000;
    }
};

var Twit = require('twit');
var req = require('request');
var T = new Twit(CONFIG.TWITTER_API_KEYS);
var stream = T.stream('user', {
    stringify_friend_ids: true
});

stream.on('direct_message', function(directMsg) {

    //Never reply to self.
    if (directMsg.direct_message.sender.screen_name == CONFIG.BOT_NAME)
        return;

    if(CONFIG.ONLY_USERS.indexOf('*') || CONFIG.ONLY_USERS.indexOf(directMsg.direct_message.sender.screen_name))
	    selectSource(directMsg.direct_message.sender.screen_name);
});

function selectSource(user) {
    if (Math.floor((Math.random() * 10) + 1) > 5) {
        setTimeout(function(){ getImgurMeme(user, sendResponse)}, CONFIG.getResponseTime());
    } else {
        setTimeout(function(){ getGiphyMeme(user, sendResponse)}, CONFIG.getResponseTime());
    }
}

function getImgurMeme(user, callback) {

    var opt = {
        url: 'https://api.imgur.com/3/g/memes/viral/' + (Math.floor(Math.random() * (50 - 15) + 15)),
        method: 'GET',
        headers: {
            Authorization: 'Client-ID ' + CONFIG.IMGUR_CLIENT_ID
        }
    };

    req(opt, function(err, response, body) {
        response = JSON.parse(body);
        callback(this.user, response.data[Math.floor(Math.random() * (response.data.length - 1) + 1)].link.replace('\\', ''));
    }.bind({
        user: user,
        callback: callback
    }));
}

function getGiphyMeme(user, callback) {

    var opt = {
        url: 'https://api.giphy.com/v1/gifs/random?api_key=' + CONFIG.GIPHY_API_KEY + '&tag=shitty+cancer+meme+stupid+funny',
        method: 'GET',
    };

    req(opt, function(err, response, body) {
        response = JSON.parse(body);
        var url;

        if (response.data.url.indexOf('cancer') >= 0 || response.data.url.indexOf('shitty') >= 0)
            url = response.data.image_original_url.replace('\\', ''); // send only inoffensive URLs
        else
            url = response.data.url.replace('\\', '');

        callback(this.user, url);

    }.bind({
        user: user,
        callback: callback
    }));
}

function sendResponse(user, link) {
  
    var params = {
        screen_name: user,
        text: link
    };

    T.post('direct_messages/new', params, function(err, data, response) {
        if (err)
            console.info('SHITMEMEBOT_DEBUG: ' + JSON.stringify(err));
    });
}