- The Bottomless Pot—Whenever someone drinks the last Cup, he or she shall be held liable for making the next brew without delay.
- Honour the Line—When one seeks brew but the elixir is not yet ready, the Cup shall be placed in the Line. The line shall be respected at all times. When the brew is ready the Cups in the line shall receive a full measure of bitter brew before those who come thereafter.
- Four spoons—Four not excessively but nonetheless unmistakably heaped spoons. Weak coffee cannot be tolerated.
- Sweet Italian—None but the timeless Sweet Italian Blend may pervade the percolator. The machine shall not be defiled by a lesser brew.
- Always Hot—No brewed pot shall be allowed to cool. Turn on the top burner when placing a pot there.
- Separation of the Stirrers—The weak spoon shall not share a receptacle with the mighty one. (put the milk spoon in the milk spoon holder and the non-milk spoon in the other one).
- The Cup is Sacred—Each true rabbit is endowed with a Cup. The Cup is their identity, their birthright, their inheritance. No true rabbit shall commit the disgraceful act of inflicting their turpulence upon the Cup of another.
- The Early Rabbit—The first rabbit to arrive at Rabbitania or a Rabbiterium on any given day shall be the priviliged one to bring the Coffee Machine out of its slumber by making the First Pot.
