How bad are things?

howbad.py

#!/usr/bin/python
# coding=utf8

import random
import re

def do_parse_rates(r):
    rexp = re.compile(r'^– About ([\d.]+)% of people (.+)$')
    for l in r.split('\n'):
        m = rexp.match(l)
        if m:
            yield (float(m.group(1))/100, m.group(2))

def parse_rates(r):
    return list(do_parse_rates(r))

rates_nonex = parse_rates("""
– About 2% of people have dementia
– About 20% of people have chronic pain
– About 7% of people have depression
– About 2% of people are cognitively disabled
– About 1% of people are schizophrenic
– About 1% of people are wheelchair-bound
– About 7% of people are alcoholic
– About 0.5% of people are chronic heroin users
– About 1% of people experience domestic violence
– About 10% of people were sexually abused as children
– About 20% of people were physically abused as children
– About 9% of people have been raped
""")

rates_ex = parse_rates("""
– About 1% of people are in prison
– About 2% of people are on probation
– About 1% of people are in nursing homes or hospices
– About 5% of people are unemployed
– About 3% of people are on disability
– About 20% of people are on food stamps
""")

def gen_person():
    problems = []
    x = random.random()
    for r, p in rates_ex:
        if x < r:
            problems.append(p)
            break
        x -= r
    for r, p in rates_nonex:
        if random.random() < r:
            problems.append(p)
    return problems

def display_problems(problems):
    if len(problems) == 0:
        return "NP"
    if len(problems) == 1:
        return "They {0}".format(problems[0])
    if len(problems) == 2:
        return "They {0} and {1}".format(problems[0], problems[1])
    return "They {0}, and {1}".format(", ".join(problems[:-1]), problems[-1])

for i in range(1, 21):
    print "{0}: {1}".format(i, display_problems(gen_person()))