gistfile1.txt

require 'cinch'

bot = Cinch::Bot.new do
  configure do |c|
    c.nick = "hotbot"
    c.server = "hotpocket.ziplist.com"
    c.port = 8080
    c.channels = ["#hottest"]
  end

  on :message, /^!score/i do |m|
    m.reply "!score #{m.user.nick} -#{rand(10)+1}"
  end

  on :message, /^Bug. What bug. We don.t have no ess-teenking bugs around here!/ do |m|
    m.reply "!score Monsier_B -#{rand(100)}"
  end
  on :message, /(hawt|caliente|hot)(.*)/i do |m, t, term|
    if term
      term.strip!
    else
      term = ""
    end

    if term.length == 0
      term = "nothing"
    end
    a = [ "Hot Pockets are currently produced by Nestle internationally.",
         "#{m.user.nick}-pocket",
         "There are over forty varieties of Hot Pockets, including both breakfast and lunch/dinner varieties",
         "http://imgur.com/scDSv.png",
         "In Canada, Nestle distributes some Hot Pockets products as part of the Stouffer's Bistro or Lean Cuisine lines",
         "Recently, Hot Pockets began introducing whole grain crusts, following a trend of many convenience product purveyors.",
         "Hot Pocket: The hot meal in a pocket",
         "Hot Pocket: When you want a hot meal without a big deal",
         "Crispy, crunchy, tender, flaky crust!",
         "Try Pot Pie Express, from Hot Pocket",
         "Try the new Hot Pocket Pizza Minis (originally called Hot Pockets Pizza Snacks)",
         "Try the new Hot Pockets Subs",
         "Try the new Hot Pockets Calzones",
         "Try the new Hot Pockets Panini", 
         "Try the new Hot Pockets Sideshots",
         "Try the new Hot Pockets Breakfast items which include the meat, egg and cheese varieties, and fruit pastries.",
         "We have a sea bass which is broiled and we have a Hot Pocket",
         "I have never eaten a Hot Pocket then afterwords was like 'I am glad I ate that'",
         "Warning: You just bought a box of Hot Pockets. Enjoy the next NASCAR event.",
         "My back hurts. Ow.",
         "How bout we fill a poptart with meat, and you can cook it in a sleeve thing.",
         "Diarrhea Pocket",
         "Flush Pocket",
         "hooooot pooocket",
         "Dead Pocket",
         "You've got a gift my friend, don't hide that in a bushel",
         "Hot #{term}? ... More like: Hot Pocket!",
         "Why have a hot-#{term}? When you could have a Hot Pocket!",
         "Hot-#{term}? Maybe a #{term}-pocket! From Nestle.",
         "There is the vegetarian hot pocket for those of us who dont want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.",
         "It will destroy your mouth! Everything will taste like rubber for a month!",
         "Have you tried the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It's a Hot Pocket filled with a Hot Pocket. Tastes just like a Hot Pocket."]
    m.reply a[rand(a.length)]
  end
end

bot.start