cyansprite

"Result:
"........................................ Text Here                           ( x lines ) .........................................
function! SuperSexyFoldText() "{{{
    let line = ' ' . substitute(getline(v:foldstart), '^\s*"\?\s*\|\s*"\?\s*{{' . '{\d*\s*', '', 'g') . ' '
    let lines_count = v:foldend - v:foldstart + 1
    let lines_count_text = printf("%s", lines_count)
    let foldchar = " "
    let foldtextstart = strpart('' . repeat(foldchar, v:foldlevel*2) . line, 0, (winwidth(0)*2)/3)
    let foldtextend = ' ( ' . repeat(" ", 5 - len(lines_count_text)) . lines_count_text . repeat(" ", 2) . "lines" . '   )  '
    let foldtextlength = strlen(substitute(foldtextstart . foldtextend, '.', 'x', 'g')) + &foldcolumn

cyansprite

" Warning this will alter the highlighting of the columns
" beforehand sometimes as well.
set textwidth=80               " text width
exe 'set synmaxcol=' . &tw   | " If it goes past tw, don't highlight it